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Welcome to Thinking Out Loud, a blog that contains postings from The Tampa Tribune’s Editorial Board and from various Tribune Community Columnists. Unlike the unsigned editorials that represent the newspaper’s institutional voice, the blog postings offer personal perspectives on the issues, personalities and events of Tampa Bay. We invite you to participate by posting your comments. We’ll do our best to respond.

Contributors:

Joe Guidry

Joe Guidry is the deputy editorial page editor of The Tampa Tribune. He is a Tampa native and a graduate of the University of South Florida. He is married and has an adult son.

Jeff Stidham

Jeff Stidham grew up and lives in Bartow. He has been with the Tribune for nearly 22 years, the last 10 on the editorial board.

William Yelverton

William Yelverton is a Tribune editorial writer who has worked for the paper nearly 22 years. He lives in the Dade City area.

Jim Beamguard

Jim Beamguard is a Tribune editorial writer. He is a native of North Carolina and a graduate of Davidson College. He and his family live in Brandon.

Jackie Papandrew:

Jackie Papandrew is a freelance writer and editor. Her syndicated humor column appears in publications in the United States, Canada and India. She lives in Largo with her husband and children. Visit her website at www.jackiepapandrew.com.

Camille Beredjick

Camille Beredjick is a senior at Chamberlain High School, an avid musician and a scribbler with a quirky sense of humor. In the fall, she will be attending Northwestern University to study journalism, political science and music, and she plans to pursue a career in journalism.

Jim Harnish

Jim Harnish is in his 17th year as Senior Pastor at Hyde Park United Methodist Church in Tampa. He and his wife, Marsha, have two daughters and two grandchildren. He is a graduate of Asbury Theological Seminary and received the honorary Doctor of Divinity degree from Bethune-Cookman University. He is the author of six books and numerous articles and studies. He enjoys playing with his grandchildren and cheering for the Florida Gators.

Angela Hunt

Angela Hunt is a novelist living in Pinellas County with her husband and two 220-pound mastiffs.

Sheryl Young

Sheryl Young was a Tampa Tribune Community Columnist in 2005-2006. A freelance writer since 1997, including the Tampa Bay Business Journal, Tampa Style Magazines, St. Pete Times and nationally in Better Nutrition, Today’s Christian Woman and more. She’s received a First Place Amy Foundation national "Roaring Lambs" Writing Award, and has lived in Tampa Bay with her family for over 20 years.

Christie Gold

Christie Gold teaches English and journalism at Freedom High School in Tampa where she advises Revolution, the school newspaper. She has been both the Hillsborough County Teacher of the Year and Florida Journalism Teacher of the Year. She lives on a small farm in Wesley Chapel where she trains as a competitive equestrian.

Natalie D. Preston

Natalie D. Preston is a karaoke singing, only-child pouting, Seminole Tomahawk waving, newlywed bride blushing, 50-state traveling, girlie girl who loves to shop, read, run and jump up and down on her soapbox.

Fernando Figueroa

Fernando Figueroa is a researcher, educator and lives in Riverview.

Gary Beemer

Interests include humor, politics, economics, community and world affairs, finance, people, religion, music, sports, current events, the arts and education.

Nicole Yunger Halpern

Nicole Yunger Halpern is an undergraduate at Dartmouth College, where she studies everything she can get her nerdy little hands on. Desired major: life. No, not necessarily biology. Life.

Kris DiGiovanni

Kris DiGiovanni is a Tribune Community Columnist, Huffington Post contributor, Daily Kos diarist, and teacher, who recently moved from NW Hillsborough to another planet - a small beach community in Pinellas County. She also blogs at www.sandscript.wordpress.com

H. David Braswell Jr.

H. David Braswell Jr. is an Information Systems Professional. He is a native New Yorker and a lifelong NY Giants fan. He attended college in California (Cal State Northridge) and moved to Tampa in 1998.

Sean Marcus

Sean Marcus teaches creative writing, journalism and reading at Chamberlain High School. He has one son and is expecting a daughter in early March. He can be reached at wuizabug@gmail.com

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Thanksgiving by the Numbers

Posted Nov 23, 2011 by Nicole Yunger Halpern

Updated Nov 23, 2011 at 10:18 AM

Thanksgiving affords an opportunity to reflect, to connect with family, and to break one’s vows to eat only vegetarian food. More importantly, Thanksgiving affords an opportunity to brush up on our math. Between optimizing your turkey-to-stuffing ratio and tallying up the fortune you’re paying the grocer, have a gander at this turkey-inspired math glossary.

Exponential – The rate at which your guest list grows once you recall that Aunt Harriet’s clan has moved into town.

Proper fraction – The percentage of Aunt Harriet’s clan members whom you want to invite.

Variable – The number of family members Aunt Harriet plans to bring, given that Harry has caught the flu, Henry’s girlfriend is visiting, and Henrietta can’t tolerate the temptation to break her vows to eat only vegetarian food.

Negative number – A quantification of your morale once you realize that you have to cook for an exponentially growing number of guests.

Rational – The number of pumpkin pies you plan to bake.

Improper fraction – The ratio of the number of pies that Harry begs you to bake to the number of pies you want to bake. Aunt Harriet scolds Harry not to act like a pig.

Irrational – The jaw-dropping number of pies Aunt Harriet begs you to bake. You think Aunt Harriet should take to heart her advice to Harry.

Digit – The bit of his hand that Harry sticks into the pie batter while you’re tossing the salad. As Harry licks his finger, Aunt Harriet swears that he hasn’t contaminated the pie, that his fever subsided hours ago. Days ago, she means. Weeks!

Complex – A characteristic of your calculation of the amount of whipped cream you should purchase.

Real – The possibility that you’ll blow your lid before the crock pot does.

Imaginary number – How many sheep you count en route to sleeping off those pies.

Infinity – The number of blessings for which we should offer thanks. Including Aunt Harriet’s departure.

Caveat: Apply this glossary to algebra exams at your own risk. If you use it and your teacher spits fire, enjoy detention. If s/he laughs and only laughs…I don’t know about you, but I’ll give thanks this Thursday.