The Keymaster? The Gatekeeper?

Posted May 28, 2009 by Marc Lancaster

Updated May 28, 2009 at 06:30 PM

CLEVELAND—On the heels of the Rays’ 17th consecutive loss in Cleveland, Joe Maddon was casting about for answers and came to the only logical conclusion for a funk that predates his term as manager: Tower City.

The downtown mall and transit station is a distinguished-looking old building, leading Maddon to the obvious deduction that it must be haunting the Rays somehow.

“It must have something to do with that tower where they have the mall,” Maddon mused. “I’m sure there’s some sort of negative spiritual influence that’s been cast upon us from that particular tower. I really believe we need to do some research there.”

I suggested it sounded like a Ghostbusters type of situation and he seemed to agree.

“It has a real Ghostbuster look to it,” Maddon said. “We’re going to look for the paranormal kind of activity, we’ll get the little meters out, the ghost meters out, the next time we come here, and we’ll see if we can eradicate it somehow.”

With or without the presence of ectoplasm, Maddon is prepared to take drastic measures the next time the Rays visit, which Maddon said he hopes is in the playoffs. I’m sure the Indians hope that, too. 

“We’ve definitely got to come with a different plan next time,” said Maddon, “whether it’s candles, holy water—something.”

Reader Comments

Por (Jim Corbett) on May 28, 2009 (Suggest removal)

Next Year don’t bother even going to Cleveland give them the 4 wins and spend the money on a F%^&ing Closer.

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Por (Mark) on May 29, 2009 (Suggest removal)

Why are oldtimers like Kapler and Dillon
on the team? They provide no value and have no future, whatever happened to Elliott Johnson? At least he was in his 20’s. Why not give Ruggiano the AB’s they are wasting with Kapler? Kennedy for Dillon, another dumb move by Friedman. Also, time to start questioning the ability or philosophy
of the pitching coach and hitting coach. They always seem to be able to get 2 strikes and 2 outs but can never finish. Also, they take way too many called 3rd strikes, especially Upton. BJ will take a pitch right down the middle and swing at one in the dirt when he bothers to swing. A pathetic situation getting worse, it may not seem like it, but still loyal to the Rays.

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Por (william goldman) on May 29, 2009 (Suggest removal)

I AGREE. DON’T BOTHER MAKING THE TRIP TO CLEVELAND, ONLY TO BE EMBARASSES. ITS CRUNCH TIME NOW, JOE, AND TURN THIS TEAM AROUND OR START PLANNING FOR 2010

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Por (Dave) on May 30, 2009 (Suggest removal)

I’ve come to despise Maddon as a manager. Why is Upton still leading off? Why is Kapler even on this team? Where’s Joyce? Maddon is throwing away ALL the goodwill the Rays gained last season. He more suited to coach 6 year olds. He won’t hurt their feelings, EVERYBODY’S a winner, except the team.

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Por (william goldman) on May 30, 2009 (Suggest removal)

LIKE MADDON OR NOT, HE’S HERE TO STAY.FAR AS I KNOW, HE CAN’T HIT, PITCH, FIELD,THROW,NOR TURN THE DOUBLE PLAY.
HIS JUST IS TO GET THE BEST OUT OF HIS PLAYERS, AND THUS FAR THE TEAM HAS BEEN SUB PAR. MELVIN EMANUEL UPTON ISN’T HITTING HIS WEIGHT AND IS A HOTDOG IN THE FIELD.HE MAKES EVEN ROUTINE PLAYS APPEAR WORTHY OF THE HIGHLIGHT REELS.THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE. ALSO,WHEN IT COMES TO THE ANNOUNCERS, ITS EASY TO SEE WHY DEWAYNE STAATS IS KNOWN AS “THE MOST BORING ANNOUNCER ON THE AIR.” HE RATTLES ON AND ON OVER THE SAME PLAY, AD NASEUM. DEWAYNE, SHUT UP AND LET EITHER KEVIN OR BRIAN TO THE TALKING

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