Simmons offers irreverent history of basketball

Posted Nov 29, 2009 by Bob D'Angelo

Updated Nov 29, 2009 at 09:40 PM

You might not agree with all of Bill Simmons’ opinions. But you have to give “The Sports Guy” credit — he is not afraid to give them.

Simmons’ latest book is a long (700-plus pages), detailed and irreverent look at the history of the NBA, and should be a source for plenty of debate. That’s what he intended in “The Book of Basketball: The NBA According to The Sports Guy” (Ballantine Books/ESPN Books, $30). There is plenty of history, lots of statistics, and several references to 1980s porn stars (a porn star actually stood in line at a Simmons book signing in Los Angeles recently and bought four books). And to keep the reader entertained, Simmons “loaded the bottom of the pages with dumb footnotes.”

Lots of those footnotes are jabs at Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Simmons admits in another footnote. Many of them are extremely funny, too.

Simmons’ lists are what carries this large work. For example, he proposes the top 33 “What-Ifs” in NBA History, like “What if Len Bias hadn’t overdosed?” Or, “What if Orlando had kept Chris Webber’s draft rights instead of trading him?”

Simmons also addresses what he calls the six most common myths of the Wilt Chamberlain-Bill Russell debate. His answers are surprising at times, but most make plenty of sense.

The research in this book is staggering, as Simmons lists more than 100 books he used to put together “The Book of Basketball.” That makes his chapters on most valuable players — where he dissects some of the players that won the NBA’s most valuable player award and makes the case for some that didn’t, but perhaps should have — that much more effective.

Simmons puts forth 33 suggestions to improve the NBA. No. 33 is the most important to him: “I wish we could blow up the Basketball Hall of Fame and start over.”

So Simmons proposes a Hall of Fame Pyramid, with five levels that include 96 players: from maginal Hall of Famers to the pantheon — the 12 best players of all-time.

I love his top six choices, and you won’t get much argument, even about the order. Tim Duncan at No. 7? Let the debates begin.

Being from the Boston area, Simmons’ bias toward the Celtics is evident throughout the book. It certainly colors his decision for the best single-season team in NBA history. There are 10 selected, plus 10 that earned honorable mention status.

Simmons sprinkles his theories with funny stories, including his encounter with Isiah Thomas at an outdoor topless bar (it figures) at a Las Vegas casino.

Thomas, stung by some of Simmons’ criticisms, had made it clear that an encounter would not end well. And yet, the Vegas summit turned out to be amicable, and Thomas even gave Simmons “The Secret” about pro basketball.

The book may be 700 pages in length, but it reads faster than that. And that’s no secret.