Oh the pain!  The pain and suffering that not having posted my Thursday predictions last week caused my overall weekend tally.  Missed out on three wins, I did.  I couldn’t post that day - but I wasn’t out drinking with the deacons as some have suggested.  I was cooking turkeys - plural - as in one roasted and one Cajun deep-fat-fried.  Thanksgiving is an occasion at our house.  Hope it was a blessed holiday for you and yours.  But, we’re moving on.  Time to get ready for Christmas.  You know what that means?  Santa getting booed at the Linc?  Count on it.  But it also means it’s December and that’s when the Preacher has historically turned it on to end the year on a high-note.  So, I better make a list and check it thrice.

Plaxico no-more-ico.  First of all, I’m sorry, but who walks around with a loaded handgun tucked into the waistband of their sweatpants?  The Giants didn’t suspend him the remainder of the year because of his arrest or breach of any personal conduct contract - they suspended him for stupidity.  This guy is like the Barney Fife of the NFL.  Wait a minute.  A bar.  A gun.  Someone got shot?  Did the cops interview Pacman Jones?

Pac is back, you heard?  Have no fear about Plaxico’s absence.  With Pac back, there’s still likely to be police blodder fodder for us to chat about next week.

The NFL is headed north of the border, eh?  The Bills braintrust decided to send their team to Toronto to play one ‘home’ game this year.  After seeing their team come out of the gates this season, some (including me) wondered aloud at the logic of this move.  Well, what a difference six weeks makes.  Real Bills fans have all slipped across the border.  Oh, and J.P. Losman (pronounced LOSS-man) is likely back at QB.  Trent Edwards is a game time decision.  He’s seeing double from having been concussed.  And concussed.  And…

The Sherriff suspended a bunch of Saints and Vikings fat guys for taking diet pills.  Have you seen the Vikings wall of Williams?  The Williams guy is so big, the Vikings list him as two people on the roster - both Pat and Kevin.  It’s one dude, I’m telling you.  Enter the lawyers - sounds like it’s going to go on for a long time… like Al Franken’s demand for recounts.

This week’s Thursday night game?  The Raiders and the Chargers!  You know the Network is loving this one.  The best bet on action at this game is going to be catching fights in the stands on camera.  I intend to tune in.  I can’t wait to see how Norv will norv it up this week.  The Chargers have to go down as this season’s biggest disappointment.

The Browns have run out of QBs.  Hey, Vinnie Testaverde hasn’t filed his retirement papers yet.  Bernie Kosar?

Okay, down to business.  Here are my ‘we-don’t-have-deacons-at-our-church, as-I-can-mess-things-up-just-fine-on-my-own’ picks for week fourteen: Chargers over Raiders; Bears over Jaguars; Vikings over Lions; Packers over Texans; Colts over Bengals; Saints over Falcons; Giants over Eagles; Titans over Browns; Dolphins over Argonauts; Broncos over Chiefs; Jets over 49ers; Cardinals over Rams; Steelers over Cowboys; Patriots over Seahawks; Ravens over Redskins; Buccaneers over Panthers.