Preacher Picks

Posted Sep 12, 2009 by Darin Shaw

Updated Sep 12, 2009 at 11:07 PM

Favre’s back. Vick’s 3 weeks away.  Cassel’s a gametime decision.  And Coach Mangini won’t tell us who the Browns starting QB is, but everybody knows Quinn is in.  Oh, and it took a few days, but Richard Seymour is now a Raider—we feel for you Richard.  No, really.  I’m sorry, man.  Look at the bright side: maybe Coach Cable will slug you and you can file a lawsuit… sort of like a signing bonus.

“Hey, hey, Tampa Bay!  The Bucs know how to shine!”  America’s team comes a callin’.  Tony Romo.  He’s like a rock star.  I wonder if Jessica Simpson will be at the game.  After three years of doing this you all know me as an optomist.  Cup is always half full.  Why do I have the feeling, on the eve of this season, that Bucs fans are going to need a cups all the way full—and lots of them—to wash down this season.  Here’s hoping for better results that we all fear.  Remember the song?  “When we’re in trouble it’s okay, we can work it out!”  Everybody… sing along!  It’s sort of like the ant and that rubber tree, you know?

My tremendously optomistic picks for week one:  Steelers over the Titans (I’d guess by three, in overtime, we’ll see how close I get); Falcons over Dolphins; Ravens all over Chiefs; Eagles over Panthers; Bengals over Broncos (No, that’s not a typo, I actually am picking the Bengals to win); Vikings over Browns; Texans over Jets (Wait, I’ve picked the Texans AND the Bengals to win in the same week?  Jesus must be coming back.); Colts over Jags; Saints all over Lions (That one is biblical, actually.); Bucs over Cowboys (Home field advantage, you see.); Cards over 49ers; Giants over Redskins; Seahawks over Rams; Packers over Bears; Patriots over Bills; Chargers over Raindeers, er… I mean Raiders.

Watch and learn, boys.  Watch and learn.