Yep, I neglected to get my weekly awards into the TMQ posting this week.  There were a couple of reasons for that.  First, I wanted to wait and see who the NFL announced as their players of the week.  Secondly, I was waiting on the outcome of a half dozen or so court appearances by prominent NFL players, and surprisingly none of them members of the Cincinnati Bengals this week.

Let me get right to it.

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly: This week the winners are Randy Moss.  (You may have just thought to yourself: ‘the Pigskin Preacher just made a grammar faux pas – he must have meant ‘this week’s winner is’.’  No, I mean this week’s winners are.  All three awards go to the Raiders’ eloquently spoken wideout.)  (G) Randy’s feelings about the way things are going in Raidernation: “I ain’t got any concerns.”  (B) Randy’s assessment of the rest of the team’s feelings: “Doesn’t seem like nobody else is concerned around here.”  (U) Randy’s remedy: “I’d welcome a trade.  I’ve been traded once.  Two won’t hurt.”  Keep talking Randy.

My Hero of the Week: 77 year old Falcons K Morten Andersen.  He hit on all 5 of his FG attempts and is closing in on a slew of NFL records.

My Goat of the Week: Titans’ DT Albert Haynesworth for lousy dancing.  The NFL suspended him for 5 games without pay for doing the Stomp on Cowboy C Andre Gurode.  Bad form.  Albert, it’s ‘Dancing With The Stars’, not dancing on them!

In other NFL News Chargers DB Terrence Kiel returned to his team this week.  He is out on $160K bond – or roughly 800 bottles of ‘Lean’ on the street.  Cough!  Packers QB Brett Favre is expecting to start his 246th straight game this coming weekend.  Eagles QB Donovan McNabb is looking into getting a new cell phone carrier – apparently text messages he’s sent aren’t being received.  Of course the date 10/8 has been circled on one player’s calendar since the schedule came out, a chance to put it to his former team – LeVar Arrington can’t wait to get a shot at the Redskins!  So, let me get right to telling you who will win this weekend’s contests.

Here are my ‘grammarian-checked, grammatically-correct, prophetically-direct, free-from-cough-syrup-neglect’ picks for week five: Panthers over Browns; Vikings over Lions; Patriots over Dolphins; Rams over Packers; Bucs over Saints; Colts over Titans; Chiefs over Cardinals; Jags over Jets; 49ers over Raiders; Eagles over Cowboys; Chargers over Steelers; Broncos over Ravens; and in the big homecoming games, Dick Jauron’s old team over Dick Jauron’s new team; LeVar Arrington’s new team over LeVar Arrington’s old team.  (That would be Bears over Bills and Giants over Native Americans.)  BYE: Falcons – resting their old kicker; Bengals – arraignment week; Texans – celebrating the big win; Seahawks – trying to recall the license plate of the truck that just hit them.