Perhaps the best way to view Florida’s presidential primary debacle is to think of this as what happens when a hanging chad of apparatchiks decide to transform a once proud political party into a condo association.
The late roaring lion of the Democrats, Robert Strauss must be spinning in his grave at the sight of his party being taken over by a bunch of lanyard wearing, pocket protector types armed with their clipboard and rule books.
Much has been made of Florida’s decision to move its primary up to January 29 in violation of arcane Democratic Party rules simply crafted to kiss up to New Hampshire, Iowa and South Carolina.
And because Florida had the audacity to move its date, the state was punished by the Democratic National Committee and its chairman Howard Dean by having all its delegates voided.
Dean has repeatedly argued the punishment was just because the “rules” had been violated. Poppycock.
Please forgive me if my Chicago is showing just a bit. But this kerfuffle isn’t, or it ought not to be about “rules.”
What Dean and his fellow condo association board members have lost in this sight of in this debate is that the “rules” have nothing whatsoever to do with this exercise.
The object here is to select a presidential candidate. The ultimate goal here is to (ta-dah) win the election in November.
And while Dean and his fellow sorority members fret over the “rules,” he might just whine his way to defeat in the fall.
But at least all the “rules” will have been followed.
Another day, another couple of Cubans have slipped out of Tampa hotel rooms and gone looking for a piece of the American Dream.
For a lot of us that dream seems to be a little more difficult these days and if you watch enough news, things look almost bleaak .
So at the very least you can thank a handful (so far) of Cuban soccer players for reminding us of the things that are important and that if you want to pursue your own dreams, then you are in the right place to do just that.
Unless you spend anytime meandering around halls of the Haley Veterans Hospital you might forget we are currently fighting wars in two countries. The Bayshore Patriots, that group of people who have steadfastly stood on the Bayshore at Bay to Bay Blvd. every Friday for years, have not. This Friday they will again be out there from 4:30 p.m. to 6, joined this time by members of the 64-nationacoalition stationed at MacDill. You are invited to bring a flag and join them or just drive by and be reminded of the global conflict that continues every day.
Most of you probably already have your weekend plans set. But if you do not it might still be possible to catch a flight to Hinckley, Ohio in time for Sunday’s great Buzzard Day event. As they have since 1957, the people of Hinckley will be holding a pancake breakfast along with dozens of other events to celebrate the return of the buzzards to Hinckley.
The thing about it is, those are our buzzards.
Those same turkey vultures who spread out over Tampa’s skyscrapers in the winter have left for Ohio and won’t return until November. We’re missing a bet here and if the chamber was worth its salt would put together a “Welcome the Buzzards back to Tampa’’ day sometimi next November. My buddy Bob Bishop has been trying to drum up interest for years but there is a lack of imagination around here that doesn’t recognize how the buzzards could put us on the same map as Hinckley. Somebody needs to call the mayor; tell her this could be bigger than the Super Bowl.
What do you think the odds are if the HBO series “In Treatment” returns for another season, one plot line will involve a former politician in therapy trying to come to terms with the implosion of his career and marriage after being caught up in a high-priced call girl ring?
As falls from grace go, the fast track decline and free fall of Eliot Spitzer was the stuff of Shakespeare meets a Greek tragedy.
And yes, like everybody else who has followed this story, two essential questions remain: A) What the &^%$#*^$ was he thinking? and/or B) Why would the aggrieved Mrs. Spitzer agree to appear in public standing next to this dreadful, horrible, sleazy little man?
I have been around politicians and politics all my life and still the behavior of some of these “public servants” never ceases to confound me.
By any standard of rationality, how does it happen that a pol with a stellar reputation for probity, a man who had spent his career on the way to the New York governor’s mansion crafting an image as a tough-minded, moralistic crime-fighting prosecutor allow himself to get caught up in a big bucks prostitution ring, spending possibly as much as $80,000 for the services of hookers?
Indeed, Spitzer’s name had been bandied about as a possible future presidential candidate. And now he has become a national laughing stock in less than a week.
The dirty little secret of public life is that in places like Albany and Tallahassee, the corridors of government are filled with beautiful women turned on by the cologne of power. Good grief, a politician could look like Shemp Howard and still get luckier than Wilt Chamberlain.
So, putting aside for the moment questions of morality, if it was simply extramarital sex that Gov. Spitzer was interested in he would found plenty of willing women to satisfy his needs for not much more than the cost of a cocktail. Think of the savings!
You could make a case that this was never really about sex.
A 48-year-old man easily recognized in places like Washington, accompanied by a security detail no less, does not engage in such monumentally stupid and high, high, high, high risk behavior simply because he truly believes sex for $4,000-a-pop (no pun intended) with a harlot is somehow going to be quantitatively better than a night spent with a very, hot and desirable lobbyist.
It’s not the sex. It’s the danger, the risk of discovery, the sneaking around that is the turn on.
And it’s also the arrogance, the hubris, the ego that drives figures like Eliot Spitzer to delude themselves into thinking they are bullet-proof, even while they are in the act of shooting themselves in the foot.
In the end, Spitzer joins a long list of gladhanders who truly stepped on their ..., well you get the idea.
Some pundits have suggested that after such a tawdry scandal, Eliot Sptizer’s political career is more dead than Warren Harding, who knew a thing or two about ladies of the evening.
They are probably right.
But if Spitzer is looking for a role model when it comes to career rehabilitation, he should look no further than fellow New Yorker, sportscaster Marv Albert, who was charged felony forcible sodomy, which also included allegation of kinky biting.
And let us not forget the pictures of Marv Albert wearing women’s underwear. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In time Albert pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor assault and battery charge and sodomy counts were dismissed.
Now, eventually Marv Albert, after what had to be the mother of all embarrassments, returned to his broadcasting job, which might suggest if the public can forgive and forget Marv Albert in a women’s panties, it might reserve a small cup of compassion for Eliot Spitzer.
Just how much sympathetic understanding Silda Spitzer is willing to extend to her dope of a husband is another matter.
Our youngest son made it back from FSU on spring break in time to celebrate the 50th anniversary of McDonalds in Tampa. He and his FSU buddy Tony spent the morning in line Saturday at the South Dale Mabry McDonalds where they were selling burgers and fries at 1958 prices. Apparently the rest of Tampa had the same idea and despite red cones and cops directing traffic, the line went on forever. The idea of 15-cent cheeseburgers and 10-cent fries cancelled out the crisis crisis as cars idled away. Despite the 10-burger limits it was enough to keep the boys away from the fridge until dinner.
Our youngest son made it home from FSU over the weekend just in time to get those 15-cent burgers. The McDonalds on South Dale Mabry was celebrating its 50th anniversary as the first around here with 1958 prices on it burgers and fries.
He headed out with his fellow FSU buddy Tony and spent Saturday morning in a line that stretched forever as Tampans forgot about the gas crisis and instead went for the cheap burgers.
The boys said it was worth it, despite being limited to 10-burgers and half a dozen bags of fries. It at least kept them out of the fridge until dinner .
I’ve heard all the reasons, from how it’s good for the economy to it saves on fuel oil. All I know is by turning the clocks ahead one hour, I’ll be tired until we get that hour back in November. The only positive is I haven’t figured out how to reset the clock in my car so it is still on daylight savings from last year. Mayybe I won’t be late for the next eight months.
On this much most people can probably agree - former University of South Florida Prof. Sami al-Arian is a pretty loathsome, vile individual, who deserves precious little sympathy for his role in providing support for Islamic terrorists.
But you could also make a case that the saga of al-Arian’s travels through the federal criminal justice system has probably reached the “Enough is enough!” stage.
At the moment the 50-year-old defrocked university professor is in the midst of a hunger strike in protest over being yet again subpoenaed to testify before a federal grand jury investigating the activities of various Muslim charities.
This is the second time he has been summoned to testify with a grant of immunity from prosecution and once again al-Arian has refused, thus leading to a contempt of court citation, which will leave him locked up through the term of the grand jury.
Al-Arian, who accepted a plea bargain to plead guilty to providing services for members of a terrorist group in 2006, was supposed to have been released from federal custody and deported in April, 2007.
But because of his refusal to testify before the grand jury, he has remained imprisoned, which has now begun to raise some thorny ethical questions for federal prosecutors.
To be sure, the government has every right to compel al-Arian to testify, especially since he has been given a grant of immunity.
Al-Arian’s mouthpieces have steadfastly insisted he plea agreement absolved him of having to provide additional testimony and/or cooperation. But that is so much hooey.
Nothing in al-Arian’s written plea agreement, or in any court transcript concerning his plea deal noted any free pass on testifying or cooperating.
The government is well within its legal power to continue to confine al-Arian.
But you could also make a fair case that since he has been, not only in jail, but in solitary confinement for the past several years, al-Arian has precious little current, valuable or legally useful information to reveal to a grand jury.
Has not the time come to simply release and depart, this admittedly disagreeable little man?
The continued incarceration of al-Arian serves no practical purpose and indeed has begun to border on a punitive sentence at the hands of federal prosecutor’s, whe failed to convict the professor on more serious terrorism charges during his 2006 Tampa trial.
At the same time, by failing to honor the terms of al-Arian’s plea bargain by not releasing and deporting him, future plea negotiations with defendants could be undermined.
Like it or not, the plea bargain is a vital prosecutorial tool. The criminal justice would implode under the weight of a backlog of cases, were not defendants offered the opportunity to negotiate guilty pleas and sentencing ranges.
For better or worse, al-Arian entered into his plea deal in good faith. The failure to include language concerning testimony and cooperation was the fault of his legal counsel. But their errors should not translate into a virtual life sentence.
As one who has been very critical of Sami al-Arian (I was even picketed by him once), I never thought I would write these words, but enough is enough.
It is time to let to let him go. Not the sake of Sami al-Arian, but for the credibility of the system of justice he wanted to destroy.
So have you made plans yet for your summer vacation? You might skip June. You are going to need to be here to vote in the Florida Secondary.
I know you thought you voted in the Primary back in January, but that didn’t count, or at least if you believe the head of the Democratic Party it didn’t. If you watched DNC head Howard Dean on TV this morning you might get the feeling - if you are a Floridian or Michigander - you are sitting in the principal’s office and about to get your punishment.
Look at it this way, you might get to try out the latest voting machines you have shelled out for as we continue trying to figure out how to hold an election.
Could it have been a surprise that the mailbag this week is loaded with comments on a column about a proposed piece of legislation from State Senator Ronda Storms? This time the topic was teaching evolution and other theories in the classroom.
“In reference to Steve Otto’s article I would like to point out the meaning of the word ‘theory.’ My dictionary defines t heory as “A system of assumptions, speculations, hypothesis or suppositions.’ The Florida School Board itself agreed with Charles Darwin that evolution is only a theory, but the standards they set require evolution to be taught as if it were a proven fact….Had Mr. Otto actually read the Academic Freedom Act. he would see there is nothing in it about teaching ‘other theories.’ Maybe the real message was to show that he himself could be cited as an example of recent macro-evolution because he seems to think with only one cell of his brain. ‘’ - Nathalie Tomczak, Valrico
- “Mr. Otto, Had you just walked out onto the ball field and kicked a sixty-yeard field goal,you wouldn’t be a greater hero at this moment. Your column today was pertinent. Ms. Storms is a scary individual, not because of her ideals and beliefs, but how she goes about trying to implement them. The public is not too bright. It sees only the word ‘Freedom’ and immediately it assumes it must be good. . Pavlov’s dog wouldn’t react as well. Remember C, Darrow’s words in “Inherit the Wind’? Paraphrasing “With flags waving and drums beating, we are marching backwards. ’ Is she the local drum major?’’ Thanks for a fine article - Norma
Really now, what did you expect?
Did anyone honestly believe Gov. Charlie Crist, R-Mr. Blue Bird On My Shoulder, would stand before the Florida Legislature the other evening and proclaim - “We are such toast!”
This was the state of the state address after all, a time when the governor is supposed to stand before the public and insist all is right with the world, even if giant badgers were gnawing at his ankles.
This session the Legislature is confronted with slashing $3 billion from the state budget. That means schools will be impacted. Social services will be cut. Parks and recreational facilities will feel the blade. And even public safety will have to do with one less pair of handcuffs, probably.
And all of this belt-tightening is occurring on the watch of Governor Happy Pants, a man so eternally optimistic, he would make Norman Vincent Peale seem suicidal.
So while the state of the state may be in a state, it would hardly behoove Gov. Everything Is Beautiful to stand up before the Legislature and announce: A) “We’re doomed !” and/or B) “Can somebody do something about this giant badger?”
Besides for Charlie Crist, R-Bubbles, how would it look for a potential vice presidential running mate to John McCain to admit the state’s finances are in worse shape than Michael Jackson?
Oh and if you had any remote doubt, Gov. Brigadoon is already thinking of picking out the drapes for the veep’s mansion, consider that he started quoting Ronald Reagan during his state of Charlie Crist’s career speech Tuesday, alluding to Florida as a “shining city on a hill.”
Oh dear. Does that qualify as plagiarism - or simply oratorical grave robbing?
Pinetop Peterson apparently has a lot of time on his hands in between chili contests. He wrote in wondering why it is that manhole covers are always on the same line as his tire path? He says they could move them a foot or so in either direction to keep them from becoming speed bumps. Unless he wrecks his car, Pinetop and his his team will again be among the teams in the 21st annual Steve Otto Chili Championship at Channelside.
Ellen Brown, who owns the Old Tampa Book Company on Tampa St. with her husband David, is more curious than concerned about what someone was looking for.
“They came in through the old abandoned building behind us, dug a small hole through that building’s old bathroom and into ours and somehow squeezed into the bookstore. I call them the Hole in the Wall Gang, but whoever they were they must have been awfullysmall. I could never squeeze through that opening.’‘
The police showed up but nothing seemed to be missing, although the store has over 40,000 books. “It would have had to have been a short story to get through that hole,’’ Brown says.
Not that this is a question, which should consume any of you, but on the odd chance you might wonder why I drink, here’s a perfectly good reason.
Since December, 2000, I have hosted a weekly talk show Saturday mornings over WFLA 970-AM, which comes out to about 400 shows give or take. That’s a lot of Dewar’s. It would be even more if I could drink on the air.
At any rate, over the course of all those programs I have had to contend with all manner of fruits and nuts, conspiracy theorists, right-wing huffers and puffers and left wing harrumphers.
Sometimes though, the reasoning of some callers completely baffles me. Even scarier, I suspect it baffles them too.
Last Saturday was one of those moments.
A angry caller weighed in, noting how he absolutely could not stand presumptive Republican presidential nominee, Arizona Sen. John McCain. Too liberal, too bi-partisan, too yada yada yada.
HOWEVER, in light of The New York Times recent story about McCain’s relationship with a Washington lobbyist, the caller had decided to happily throw his support to the senator.
I found this curious. I find many of my listeners curious. I am curious to know if some of them are even aware they are alive.
Explain something to me, I asked the caller. First of all, I inquired if the caller had ever even read a copy of The New York Times. He admitted he never had picked up and read the Old Gray Lady.
Now we were getting somewhere!
Explain something to me, I said to the caller. As of a few days earlier, the listener had had no use for that lousy, stinking, liberal John McCain.
But now a newspaper the caller had never read had published a story about a presidential candidate he couldn’t stand and on that basis the listener was now going to support someone they don’t like simply to make a gesture toward an entity they’ve never examined.
Uh, could the caller please explain that reasoning, to me? Things went downhill from here.
The caller repeatedly tried to attack The New York Times, which is very nice, but I had to ask how did he know the paper was the tool of Satan since he had never read it?
And I had to ask, alas often, what possible difference would it make to now support a political candidate he disliked, simply because a newspaper he never had picked up had reported something about the pol he wouldn’t bother to ever read?
Silence.
In the interests of fairness and admittedly I am a sucker for the surreal, I even put the caller on hold while I went to a commercial break to give the chap time to think his argument through a bit more.
It didn’t help. Once back on the air, the caller still couldn’t explain his thinking and by the point I was getting bored, so I let him slip back into the ether from whence he had come.
By the way, this sort of thing goes on for three hours, every Saturday.
And that is why, yes bartender I’ll have another. And make it a double.
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