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The Book Of Ruth

Bad, Very Bad Political Theater


As political theater goes, Wednesday night’s CNN/YouTube Republican presidential debate was more Old Shtik rather than Old Vic.
Since the Mishagosh at the Mahaffey the blogosphere, the airwaves, the political establishment and the professional thumbsuckers have been attacking CNN for a perceived a bias toward the Republican contenders. Please, can we put an end to this kerfuffle of crybabbies?
Let’s face it, the seven presidential aspirants knew full what they were getting into when they agreed to participate in the CNN/YouTube debate format, so didn’t they pretty much get exactly what they deserved?
The biggest faux indignity surrounded a question posed by Keith Kerr.
Here it is in its entirety: “My name’s Keith Kerr, from Santa Rose, California. I’m a retired brigadier general with 43 years of service. And I’m graduate of the Special Forces Officer Course, the Commanding General Staff Course and the Army War College. And I’m an openly gay man.
“I want to know why you think that American men and women are not professional enough to serve with gays and lesbians.”
CNN has been vilified in some quarters for allowing Kerr’s question, since the general also serves on a gay and lesbian steering committe for Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton.
Yes, absoutely, CNN stumbled badly in not better vetting Kerr and the general could have been more candid about his political associations.
Still, regardless of those problems, is Kerr’s question any less valid?
Why shouldn’t those aspiring to become commander-in-chief be asked about an issue, which has plagued the military for many years?
And more broadly, why shouldn’t Democrats be allowed to submit questions to Republicans?
At the same time, the GOP field also had their fair share of soft-balls, from Republican apparatchik Grover Norquist asking a question about raising taxes (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!) to NRA members offering fat juicy loaded pitches on gun control.
Where CNN committed a major gaffe was in allowing Kerr to deliver a speech from the audience, a courtesy no other questioner was allowed. Bad form, very bad form.
Finally, just a few brief observations.
Probably the best line of the night was delivered by former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee, who when asked if Jesus would permit the death pealty, retorted: “Jesus was too smart to ever run for public office.”
It was a cute line. It should also be noted, Huckabee ducked the question.
Also, is it a law or something that at least one protester at these sorts of things has to look like John Lennon? And can we please dispense with all the atrocious Woody Guthriie cover music?
Finally, Huckabee supporter Chuck Norris is a big-time movie icon, who once starred in a dreadful, horrible, terrible television series, “Walker, Texas Ranger.”
Uh, Mr. Norris, you’re 67 years old. You’ve made a ton of money. Can’t you afford a better hair-dye job. Good giref, it looked like you had pureed carrots on your head in the spin room.

(1) Comments

Hello, I Must Be Going


There really is no honor among thieves - or politicians.
You’ve heard all this bloviating drivel a millions times from pols on the stump - emotional appeals to honor, courage, integrity, yada, yada, yada, blah, blah, blah.
A political campaign is more than just a simple panhandling for votes. It’s a job interview.
And once the ballots are counted and a winner declared, a campaign also becomes a personal services contract of sorts between the candidate and the constituents he or she has promised to represent.
Seems pretty simple - until money gets in the way.
If you are a constituent of either Mississippi Republican Sen. Trent Lott, or Illinois Republican Rep. Denny Hastert, right about now you have to feel you’ve been played for a chump. And you have.
Last year, both men ran for re-election to their offices, presenting themselves as the best choice to represent their citizens’ interests in the United States Congress.
And their arguments apparently were convincing since both men were returned to their jobs.
However this week, both Lott and Hastert announced they would be resigning from their posts. In Lott’s case, he had five years remaining on his Senate term. Hastert is leaving with a year to go on his House term.
And if you sense an air of really stinky cheese in all these, you’re not wrong.
It’s one thing for an elected representative to announce a resignation because of health concerns, or perhaps a family crisis. That’s not the case here.
It would have been more than understandable if Lott and Hastert (both in their 60s) had announced they would not be running for re-election at the end of their terms. That’s not the case here either.
In announcing his departure, Lott said he was sitting in church the other day when the minister started quoting Ecclesiastes, Chapter Three, the famolus “To eveything there is a season,” passage.
Suddenly, Lott said, with a straight face, he decided it was time to leave the U.S. Senate into his fourth term. Perhaps there is a passage in there somewhere, which reads, “A time to grub for money, a time to shill as a lobbyist.”
The timing of the Lott and Hastert departures couldn’t be more mercenary. Congressmen leaving their jobs now, before the end of 2007, have to wait one year before actively engaging in lobbyist activities.
In 2008, that waiting period will be extended to two years. Do you sense a sleazy coincidence here?
Back in 2006 Trent Lott and Denny Hastert ran for re-election on the premise they would be around to serve their constituents.
Instead voters in Mississippi and Illinois were deceived, conned and disrespected.
You hear all the time from these phonies how public service is it’s own reward.
And it is - but only until a better deal comes along.

(1) Comments

It’s About Time


It’s about time - a year to be exact.
Because behind the wheel of a car Nick Bollea makes Britney Spears look like “Driving Miss Daisy,” the son of faux wrestler Hulk Hogan, at long last, has been notified by state officials that his driving priviliges have been suspended for at least a year - and this is a result of having nothing to do with the August 26th wreck, which has left family friend, Marine John Graziano in critical condition with severe head injuries.
Rather, the year-long suspension of Bollea’s driver’s license stems from an April speeding ticket in Osceola County where this 17-year-old twerp was clocked at 106 mph.
“We have the ability to suspend somone’s license if we believe what they could be convicted of is a potential danger should this person remain on the road,” a Florida Department of Highway Safety & Motor Vehicles official told The Tribune’s Stephen Thompson, adding, “We’ve deemed him dangerous to the general public on the road.”
Gee, do ya think?!?!? And by the way, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Just why his parents, Mr. & Mrs Hulkster didn’t uniltaterally yank their doltish son off the streets after a series of speeding tickets remains a bigger mytery than what’s under that dopey rag the phony wrestler wears on his head. Probably not much - in more ways than one.
Ask yourself a simple question? If you had a 17-year-old ne’erdowell living under your roof who had managed to accumulate a collection of moving violations virtually within 20 minutes of gettting his license wuld you permit this dimbulb to drive a rickshaw, much less a high performance car?
But when it comes to the Bolleas this story has had the feel of “Deliverance” on steroids from the very beginning.
Still, thanks to the state, the streets of Clearwater will be a little bit safer, for a little while.
It’s not much in the way of justice, but it’s a start.

(2) Comments

T. Boone Cuts And Runs


Why there hasn’t been this much of a mealy-mouthed hasty retreat since Sen. Joe McCarthy failed to come up with the name of so much as a single commie lurking in the weeds of the State Department.
There was bloviating Texas gasbag, T. Boone Pickens the other day speaking before some fellow right-wing traveler’s from the Planet Zircon 9 when he made the offer to pay $1 million to anyone who could disprove a single allegation made by the Swift Boatt Veterans for Demagoguery against the Vietnam War records of the 2004 Democratic presidential nominee, Sen. John Kerry.
It was Pickens, who helped bankroll the 2004 smear campaign against Kerry, providing as much as $3 million to the Not-Too-Swift Boat Veterans attacks on the candidate, who was awarded a Silver Star, a Bronze Star and three Purple Hearts during his Vietnam service.
Indeed, despite the efforts of the Swift Boat lap dogs for T-Boone Pickens to undermine Kerry’s war record, with a single exception, members of the senator’s crews all regarded their commander as a hero.
And indeed, Kerry has allowed journalists full access to his Navy personnel and medical records and nothing has been uncovered to contradict the senator’s accounts of his service or the wounds he received.
Back in 2004, Kerry acknowledged his failure to confront the allegations made against him in a more timely, aggressive manner contributed to his election defeat.
But better late than never, so when Pickens made his $1 million offer, Kerry was quick to take up the oil barron’s challenge.
In a letter to Pickens, Kerry offered to meet in a public forum to discuss the allegations against him and his defense that they are wrong.
Kerry also requested that Pickens make his $1 million check out to the Paralyzed Veterans of America.
“I trust that you are a man of your word, having made a public challenge at a major Washington dinner and I look forward to taking you up on this challenge,” Kerry concluded in his letter to Pickens.
Man of his word? Hahahahahahaha!!!!
No sooner had Kerry responded, did Pickens start to go into full “Hummana-hummana-hummana!” mode as he attempted to change the ground rules of his initial posturing.
Responding to Kerry, Pickens said he was “intrigued by your letter,” which is vague way of saying, “I’ll share a public dais with you about the same time Pervez Musharraff and Benazir Bhutto elope.
Pickens said he was concerned about Kerry’s comtinued “malinging” of the Swift Boat Veterans. Oh really? Just how would Pickens expect Kerry to regard a group of political thugs who lied about him and possibly cost the senator the presidency? Yes, let’s have a “Duh!” here.
Pickens further welshed on his offer by changing his own ground rules for the $1 million pay-out and even refused to make the pay-off to Kerry to his choice of the Paralyzed Veterans of America.
As classy guys go, this puts T. Boone Pickens righ tup there with silly people like Tailgunner Joe and Lyndon LaRouche.
Little surprise Pickens would cut and run from his kerfuffle with Kerry.
What else would you expect from a Long Star windbag, who when it comes to honor is all hat and no cattle?

(5) Comments

Still Waiting For Bonior


If you closed your eyes and let yourself dream you could almost hear John Edwards singing “This Land Is My Land,” except for south of the Geogia-Florida state line.
To be sure this was a Hallmark Card experience.
“A lot of special moments happen when John Edwards is out there on the campaign trail,” breathlessly wrote David Bonior, Edwards’ presidential campaign propagandist.
The golden moment Bonior was referring to in an e-mail to potentially gullible contributors featured the former senator helping a New Orleans family rebuild their home. This was Bob Villa meets the Gallup Poll.
Headlined “Tag You’re It,” the idea behind the e-mail was to somehow encourage loyal Democrats to contribute because John Edwards cares about the little people. Gee, thanks.
This seemed like a golden opportunity and thus your humble scribbler e-mailed Bonior back, asking since indeed these moments were so special when could Florida voters expect to share one of these special moments with John Edwards on the campaign trail in Tampa, or Orlando, or Miami, or anywhere in the state?
Surely there must be someone between Panama City and Key West who could use Edwards’ help in putting up a window blind, or maybe clean out a septic tank, or possibly program a DVD player.
Alas Bonior has not responded. Perhaps the senator is too preoccupied shoveling manure in Iowa. Are you beginning to sense a trend here?
It takes a lot of brass to send letters to Florida Democrats pimping for money when the candidate is too gutless to set foot in an entire state himself to ask for votes.
And isn’t it also the height of phoniness for Edwards and the rest of the Democrat field to flit about Iowa and Nevada and New Hampshire calling for bold, visionary leadership and bragging about their courage and fighting spirit, when this entire oat bag of pols is too cowardly to even shake a Floridian’s hand?
The Democratic crop of presidential pretenders with all the spine of Shemp Howard readily agreed with national party dictates to boycott Florida’s decision to hold its presidential primary on January 29, 2008 - effectively treating the fourth largest state in the union as if it was one giant staph infection.
How insane is this? Consider that Iowa, New Hampshire, Nevada and South Carolina still don’t collectively match Florida’s electoral college vote total of 27.
And yet it is the Sunshine State, which is being treated as if it has been invited only for cocktails, while everyone else gets to stay for dinner.
If there is any justice, until Edwards and the rest of his fellow hustings sheep find the common decency to book a hotel room in Tampa, Bonior’s money-grubbing e-mail to Florida Democrats should be greated with the single digit hand gesture it deserves.
Tag, You’re It, Mr.  Bonior.

(1) Comments

The Book of Ruth


This is rather daunting.
Some 35 years ago, when I first started working in the newspaper business, it was still a time of manual typewriters and clattering wire service machines.
Down in the composing room, type was still set in lead by linotype machines. Indeed one of most vivid memories of those days was the sight of a boiling cauldron of molten lead, stirred by a worker decked in a heavy leather protective gear - it was something out of Dickens.
After a few years a “computer” - just one - made its way into the newsroom and we gathered around the thing like the apes in “2001 - A Space Odyessey staring at the cockamamie thing and wondering what it was supposed to do. I’m still not sure.
Fast-forward to 2007 and after more than three decades in this business, I’m writing my first Blog entry. They tell me this is the wave of the future. I’ll take their word for it.
I have always been intimidated by technology. I resisted using ATMs for many years. I barely know how to use my cellphone, still can’t figure out how to get my messages.
In the late 1990s, I dreaded the prospect of using a lap-top, literally losing sleep at the idea of having to embrace a new bell, a new whistle.
And I suppose I’ve resisted the blogosphere because I simply didn’t understand it. But I need to. And so I might has well start now.
When I broached the idea of starting a blog I was asked what I would do with it.
And the candid answer is - I have no idea.
To be sure this space will weigh in with political ruminations, that’s what political junkies do after all.
As well, I suspect this blog will also, from time time, offer up observations on food, movies and whatever else is either annoying or intriguing at the moment.
Most importantly, I hope we have some fun. And so let’s begin.
Thanks in advance for reading. Now, if only I can figure out how to file this darn thing ...

(3) Comments

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