You would think if you were a sitting member of the United States House of Representatives you would have more than a passing familiarity with what constitutes American citizenship.

Sorry to disappoint, which brings us to Rep. Ginny Brown-Waite, R-Freedonia, who sadly proved this week that simply because one is an elected member of Congress still doesn’t necessarily mean they have a grasp of government, or who is a citizen or who isn’t.

In complaining about the economic stimulus package, which will provide tax rebates, Brown-Waite issued a press release in which, she fretted some of that money might wind up in the wrong hands like those evil foreigners.

“The bill sends millions of dollars to people who do not pay federal income taxes, including residents of Puerto Rico and territories like Guam,” Brown-Waite noted. “I do not believe taxpayer funds should be sent to foreign citizens who do not pay taxes.”

Brown-Waite concluded with this: “As the legislation moves forward, it must be changed to ensure that only taxpaying American citizens receive rebate checks.”

Cue the “Oooooopsie!”

There are moments when you have to believe that some days, pols like Brown-Waite wake up and have someone drop an anvil on their heads.

For the congresswoman’s information, residents of both Guam and Puerto Rico were granted United States citizenship many years ago. And while it is true, according to U.S. law, that they do not pay income taxes, citizens of Guam and Puerto Rico are indeed subjected to payroll abd Social Security taxes.

It is remarkable enough that Brown-Waite revealed that she is dumber than a sack of snipes in her ham-handed dissing of Puerto Rico and Guam, but even more striking is apparently no one on her staff of public relations flacks alerted the boss she was about to make a complete bubblehead of herself.

Sorta makes you wonder what would happen is aspiring glad-handers were required to take and pass a Civics 101 test before they were allowed to assume office.

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Here’s the thing about polling data - when you’re ahead they are prescient and when you’re behind, obviously there’s a flaw in how the numbers were crunched.

And that is how former Pennsylvania Gov. Tom Ridge found himself standing in front of the University of Tampa’s Plant Hall awaiting the arrival of John McCain as he tried to explain how some recent polling figures had showed former Gov. Mitt Romney with a thin lead over his man, in the run-up to Tuesday’s Republican presidential primary.

“Whatever the polls show,” Ridge argued, “they’re still so fluid.”

Besides, the former Homeland Security czar reasoned, look at how wrong the polls were in New Hampshire, in which Barack Obama’s lead evaporated into a Hillary Clinton victory, thereby raising a cautionary note in putting too much stock into polls. As well, Ridge proudly noted he is a veteran of eight political campaigns, so he ought to know a thing or two about believing in polls.

But Gov. Ridge, it was pointed out, while the advance polling data may have been wrong when it came to the Democratic race in New Hampshire, were not the same polling organizations dead on in correctly predicting John McCain’s New Hampshire victory?

“That’s true,” Ridge nodded.

And oh, by the way, just out of idle curiosity, of his eight campaigns for various offices, how close were the final election results to the polling figures?

Ridge smiled and shyly nodded his head. “Pretty close, pretty close.”

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Former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani was dead wrong during Thursday night’s MSNBC Republican debate when he insisted the “Wet Foot/Dry Foot” policy regarding Cubans attempting to enter the country has been U.S. foreign policy for the past 40 years.

Not so. “Wet Foot/Dry Foot,” which allows Cubans entering the United States to stay IF they can reach dry land began in 1995 as a provision of the Cuban Adjustment Act signed by Bill Clinton.

How can a candidate for the presidency of the United States be so ill informed on Cuban immigration policy, especially while campaigning in Florida? Amazing.

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Did you notice the moment Democratic vanity candidate, Ohio Rep. Dennis Kucinich discovered he was facing a tough re-election battle back home in Cleveland, how quickly he abandoned his delusional presidential campaign?

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By Tuesday night, Rudy Giuliani will know if risking his entire presidential ambitions on Florida was a brilliant political strategy or a decision, which will be regarded as one the most boneheaded moves in the history of campaigning.

“He’s going to make history one way or the other,” laughed Tom Ridge.

Too true, too true.

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In terms of sheer political sleaziness, this exercise in cronyism may go down as the Marc Rich moment for the Bush Administration.

There is a little known U.S. Justice Department program, which allows corporations accused of naughtiness to enter into out-of-court settlements requiring the appointment of an outside “monitor” to oversee the agreements.

And when Zimmer Holdings, a medical supply company in Indiana entered into one of these monitoring agreements with the feds in the wake of charges alleging kickbacks to doctors, guess who received the no-bid/no public notice contract to do the job?

None other than former U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft, whose consulting firm The Ashcroft Group, according to numerous news accounts, could receive between $28 million and $52 million for its labors over the next 18 months.

The lucrative deal was awarded to Ashcroft, by a former employee, Christopher J. Christie, who is now the United States Attorney for New Jersey, noted The New York Times.

The Times also reported that Christie has doled out similar monitoring contracts to two other former Justice Department colleagues, as well as the former New Jersey attorney general.

These no-bid sweetheart deals normally remain out of the public limelight. But Ashcroft’s good fortune was revealed in a Securities and Exchange Commission filing.

Christie defended his appointment of Ashcroft and his former co-workers to The Times, by arguing they had impeccable legal credentials.

Perhaps so. But this a huge couuntry with many, many, many able legal minds to be found coast-to-coast, who don’t carry the same conflcit of interest baggage as John Ashcroft.

If you think this deal stinks a bit, well so does current Attortney General Michael Musakey, who has ordered a criminal division inquiry into the Ashcroft contract.

This could get interesting. Fun, too.

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Coming soon to a mailbox near you - creeps in full bloom.

For if it is South Carolina primary season, that means the full flower of redneck, yahoo bizarro galoots cannot be far behind.

This didn’t take long did it? And sadly, it is hardly a surprise as this weekend’s South Carolina nears, with Florida soon to to follow, the forces of lying, cowardly disinformation would be spewing their political dirty tricks.

Eight years ago, Republican Sen. John McCain was the victim of a vicious race-baiting, fear-mongeroing campaign in the run-up to the South Carolina presidential primary.

Supporters of then Texas Gov. George W. Bush, labeled McCain the “##### candidate,” with veiled hints the Arizona senator was gay. Rumors were spread McCain was mentally unstable after his more than five years as a POW during the Vietnam War.

As well, a whispering campaign accused McCain of fathering black child, when in fact McCain and his wife Cindy had adopted a Bangladeshi daughter. Ironically it was none other than South Carolina Sen. Strom Thurmond who actually had fathered a black child.

Bush went on to win the South Carolina primary and the presidency, leaving a seething McCain to spend the next eight years preparing for another run for the White House.

Now the yahoos are at it again in 2008.

A phony group called the Vietnam Veterans Against John McCain is circulating a mailer throughout South Carolina accusing the candidate of turning on his fellow prisoners of war in order to receive better treatment for himself from his Vietnamese captors. This is beyond reprehensible.

It’s a lie and the low-lifes perpetuating this lie are sniveling, duplicitous goobers.

By any measure John McCain is a genuine American hero, whose conduct while a POW has been lauded for his bravery by any number of his fellow prisoners.

McCain never asked for, nor received special treatment at the hands of his captors and indeed refused early release from captivity ahead of those who had been imprisoned longer than he.

If you don’t believe John McCain would be a good president, fine. If you think he is wrong on the issues, no problem.

But no voter in South Carolina, or Florida or any other state should deny McCain their vote on the basis of this effort to undermine the senator’s personal integrity and extraordinary bravery.

The chintzy blowhards behind the Vietnam Veterans Against John McCain unfortunately are right about one thing.

It is the dark underbelly of American politics that some people, some voters, are unbelievably stupid and easily manipulated. See: South Carolina, 2000.

It is altogether possible the dolts attempting to smear McCain will bring their disinformation campaign to Florida.

Better plan on having to delouse the mailbox. It’s going to be a bumpy primary.

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Followng the on-going travails of the likes of Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan and even aspiring wanna be diva, Tampa’s own walking intervention, Jessica Sierra brought to mind and old show business tale of life and death in the fast lane of celebrity.

Many years ago the medical examiner conducting the autopsy on the stiff before him assumed - from the deteriorated organs he was observing - that he was working on a man well into his 80s.

In fact the body was that of Errol Flynn, age 50 , a man for whom moderation in anything, drinking, smoking, sex, was a fate to be avoided at all costs - even his life.

Indeed, in the annals of Hollywood naughtiness the likes of Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Nick Nolte, Robert Downey, Jr., Mel Gibson, Tom Sizemore and Britney Spears are actually pale pretenders to the dashing Flynn, who set a standard of debauchery the envy of Caligula meets Uday and Qusay.

After all, the phrase “In like Flynn,” gained its currency after the actor was acquitted of statutory rape charges. And at the time of his death, the swashbuckler had been openly traveling about the world in the company of his 16-year-old “wink-wink-nod-nod secretary,” with precious little impact on his career.

So, for most amateur Hollywood historians, dark predictions the careers of the aforementioned Lohan, Gibson, and even Jessice Sierra among others might be derailed because of their drug and/or alcohol problems, their boorish behavior, their revolving door stints in rehab, simply ignore the history of Hollywood.

And they certainly don’t know one of the entertainment business most oft-repeated lines - “You’ll never work in this town again - unless we need you.”

Both Nolte and Downey have rejuvenated their careers after setting the gold standard for mug shots.

And it might come as something of a small surprise to some budding movie buffs to know many of the screen’s greatest, most beloved performers struggled with --- something!

Spencer Tracy was infamous for his binge drinking, although a viewer of his more than 70 films would be hard pressed to discern any trace of his private demons on the screen.

William Holden had to enter a clinic to dry out in the middle of filming “Paris When It Sizzles,” although anyone who has ever had to sit through this hideous movie, could hardly blame any actor for needing to be half in the bag to get through this production.

Long before the Betty Ford Clinic came along, Robert Mitchum did a stretch in jail on a marijuana possession charge, which certainly had to interfere with his drinking time.

Richard Burton, one of acting’s greatest drinkers, once admitted there were movies he made in the 1960s that he had absolutely no memory of - and most of them rightfully so.

Social mores were somewhat more different in Burton’s time. Drinking was more acceptable, more charming.

Together with Richard Harris and Peter O’Toole, Burton formed a trilogy of liver damage unparalleled since, well Errol Flynn last passed out alone.

There have been many other bad boys and girls of Tinsel Town - Robert Newton, Tallulah Bankhead, Charlie Chaplin, Ingrid Bergman, Roman Polanski, Kiefer Sutherland, Drew Barrymore and John Barymore.

The list is as endless as “Heaven’s Gate.”

So while Jessica Sierra and others may wonder what the future holds for their careers, she can think of Flynn and Burton and Holden all the others and take some cold comfort in knowing she is following in some pretty big shoes to fall down in.

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Even when she actually had the job, Hillary Clinton was never really wild about being the First Lady and neither, one could argue, was the rest of the country.
There are many reasons why candidates fail, come up short, lose elections.
To be sure, stands on issues are important. And much like the stand-up comedy, timing is critical, too.
And while this might violate the pundit’s code, not to mention Political Science 101, sometimes an electoral setback can be atrtributed to the most simple, the most visceral of causes.
Why did Hillary Clinton finish third in the Iowa caucuses? Why does her air of faux invincibility now seem so absurd in restrospect?
Perhaps it is as banal as this
After all these years on the national scene, it is entirely possible the public doesn’t see a former First Lady running for president of the United States. It sees the ex-wife from hell, coming back and demanding more alimony. Brrrrrrrrr.
The Hillary Clinton campaign sees history in the making with the first woman president. The country sees Joan Crawford with the nuclear codes.
Take the election night comments of the candidates.
Both Illinois Sen. Barack Obama and former North Carolina Sen.John Edwards gave strong, emotion-laden rally-the-troops speeches. Hillary Clinton delivered a domestic policy recitation.
Passion ought to count for something in politics.
To pursue the presidency requires a drive, a fire in the belly for the job.
To be sure the country is electing a commander-in-chief, and the CEO of the land. It is also electing a leader - to lead.
The nation is not electing Aunt Bee meets Leona Helmsley.
And that is Hillary Clinton’s problem - not her vote on the Iraq war, or her health care policy, or illegal immigrants with driver’s licenses.
At the risk of being accused of presumptuousness, Tuesday, the people of Iowa took one last long look at candidate Hillary Clinton and saw Elizabrth Taylor’s Virgina Woolf staring back them. And she was not happy. And she was no fun.
And the people of Iowa were afraid. Very afraid.

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What is it about George Bush that he draws incompetents to him like a moth to the flame.
If the doddering likes of Don Rumsfeld, Dick Cheney, Alberto Gonzalez and George Tenent weren’t scary enough, bumbling enough, now we discover the president’s press secretary would get an F in American history.
During a recent appearance on National Public Radio’s “Wait, Wait Don’t Tell Me,” White House Press Secretary Dana Perino admitted she was clueless about the 1962 Cuban Missile Crisis.
A graduate of the University of Southern California, who also earned a masters degree from the University of Illinois, Perino recalled she was asked during a recent press briefing about remarks Russian President Vladimir Putin had made equating plans by the United States to establish a missile defense shield in Eastern Europe to the old Soviet Union sending missiles to Cuba, which set off a nulcear confrontation in 1962.
“I panicked a bit because I really didn’t know about the Cuban Missile Crisis,” Perino admitted.
“It had to do with Cuba and missiles, I’m pretty sure,” she noted. Gee, do ya think?
It’s pretty troubling that the chief spokesman for the United States of America had no awareness of one of the most significant moments of the Cold War.
It’s also pretty troubling to have a dumb blonde joke walking as the leading spokesman for this country.
You have to wonder if Perino is vaguely familiar with the Berlin Wall coming down, or the Kennedy assassination, or Martin Luther King’s “I Have A Dream” speech. After all they happened oh so long ago.
Then, again, do we really want to know? 

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A few days ago this space blog-o-fied about Mitt Romney’s non-defense of his Mormonism at the George H.W. Bush Library in College Station, Texas, describing the moment as the candidate’s JFK-lite moment.
The entry prompted this response from Bob McDarby of Valrico, who wrote the reason John Kennedy mentioned his Catholicism some 19 times during his speech in 1960 before the Houston Ministerial Association was “… because he was courting the Catholic vote in addition to allaying fears about his Catholicism. A Democrat cannot be elected president without the Catholic vote. JFK made sure to emphasize his Catholic faith.
“On the other hand, Mitt Romney was trying to allay fears about his Mormonism. He emphasized common ground with other Christians. Since he is seeking the support from all Christians there would be no point in mentioning Mormonism repeatedly.”
Thanks Bob. You’ve just explained, probably unwittingly, why Romney will lose the nomination.
For the record, let’s correct some of your history.
In 1960, John Kennedy received a staggering 78 percent of the Catholic vote. The other 22 percent, were probably people like my Catholic Republican parents, who wouldn’t have voted for a Democratic Catholic if the candidate had been Bishop Sheen. I should mention though that when Kennedy was assassinated in Dallas, I arrived home from school to find my mother sobbing.
So when JFK delivered his speech in Houston, it certainly wasn’t to court a Catholic vote he already had well in hand.
After all, why would Kennedy have traveled to the heart of the Bible Belt, to talk to a large gathering of Protestants (whose vote he really did need) in order to appeal to a constituency he was assured of winning? Duh.
Rather Kennedy was willing to stand up to a group of skeptics to repeatedly remind them of his faith, in order to show he didn’t have horns, he wasn’t about to become a pawn of the Vatican and most importantly to demonstrate they could trust him.
Romney, by contrast, failed to deliver on all those counts.
Rightly or wrongly, Mormonism remains a strange, misunderstood faith. Romney had a chance to address those issues and instead ducked them.
Glad to clear up the history for you Bob. Thanks for reading the blog. 

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To very loosely paraphrase the late Sen. Lloyd Bentsen: I remember Jack Kennedy. I admired Jack Kennedy. Jack Kennedy was my president. And Gov.Romney? You’re no Jack Kennedy.
Somehow it was a fitting commentary on the sad state of American politics, when Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney’s speech earlier this week at the George Bush Library in College Station Texas, was arrogantly billed as Mormonism’s answer to John F. Kennedy’s famous campaign address in defense of his Catholicism.
Balderdash. This was at best Romney’s JFK-lite, very lite moment. More accurately, this was the candidate as Ken Doll offering up a Potemkinesque warm and fuzzy speech on how swell it is to believe in God. Well, it’s ... swell is what it is.
A small bit of history.
In 1960, in his campaign for the presidency against then Vice President Richard Nixon, John Kennedy confronted a growing chorus of concern from mostly evangelical Christian quarters about his Roman Catholic faith. Frets abounded JFK would govern as a surrogate of the Vatican.
To address those worries, on Sept. 12, 1960 John Kennedy traveled directly into the heart of the Bible Belt, to Texas and a gathering of the Houston Ministerial Association.
During his remarks, Kennedy made no apologies for his Catholic roots. In fact he used the word Catholic no fewer than 19 times in his relatively brief remarks, insisting he would not be the pope’s patsy in the White House.
Indeed the candidate, in what would be considered strict conservative Constitutional principles today, said he opposed sending an ambassador to the Vatican, as well as noting he opposd public funding for any church or church school.
The speech helped allay fears of seeing a Catholic ascend to the presidency.
By contrast, Romney’s remarks fell far short of their original billing.
Where JFK appeared before people who were highly suspect of his intentions and indeed ran the risk of being shunned by the ministers, Romney safely appeared before a friendly audience of Republican fellow travelers.
Where Kennedy made frequent direct references to his faith, Romney mentioned his Mormonism - once.
Where Kennedy was speaking to advance his role as the Democratic Party presidential nominee, Romney is scrabbling to even win the Republican nomination against a crowded field, as well as fend off advances made be former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee, who enjoys support among the evangelical wing of the GOP.
Yes, it should be noted that in reality history as shown John Kennedy was about as devout a practicing Catholic as Hugh Hefner. By now, the assassinated president’s sexual escapades are legendary. But at the time in 1960, the nation saw a young, handsome, charismatic political figure attending mass, playing the role of family man and loyal husband. And it worked - all the way to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.
Romney did his best before the assembled friendly crowd. But he is an awkward orator, lacking that intangible oooooomph of a JFK to rally and inspire.
The speech itself was essentially a dry recitation about the importance of faith, his own belief in God and the obligatory promise to keep the affairs of God and state distinct should be elected. Hey, thanks.
The speech also included this odd moment: “… freedom requires religion just as religion requires freedom.” It was one of those classic stump lines that sounds great as it rolls off the candidate’s tongue, until you realize it makes no logical sense whatsoever.
Rightly or wrongly, fairly or not, Romney and his Mormonism face a tough up-hill struggle.
Human beings fear what they don’t know and/or don’t understand.
And purely a matter of retail politics, Mormonism is a tough sell, with the special underwear thing, to God coming back to earth to live in Missouri (Missouri!?!?!?), to the bizarre life of founder Joseph Smith, to yes, the now banned practice of polygamy.
Just as fairly you can probably look at any religious faith and find strange, odd, goofy practices, beliefs and rituals. After all, this is God stuff. And God works in mysterious ways, does she not?
In the end did Romney’s Texas speech help his bid for the White House? Well, it probably didn’t hurt, which is the first rule of politics - do no harm, to yourself.
We’ll know for sure a few weeks, once votes FINALLY start to be counted. Then we’ll find out if the Romney campaign is Camelot II, or more of a case of Willard, we hardly knew ye.

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As political theater goes, Wednesday night’s CNN/YouTube Republican presidential debate was more Old Shtik rather than Old Vic.
Since the Mishagosh at the Mahaffey the blogosphere, the airwaves, the political establishment and the professional thumbsuckers have been attacking CNN for a perceived a bias toward the Republican contenders. Please, can we put an end to this kerfuffle of crybabbies?
Let’s face it, the seven presidential aspirants knew full what they were getting into when they agreed to participate in the CNN/YouTube debate format, so didn’t they pretty much get exactly what they deserved?
The biggest faux indignity surrounded a question posed by Keith Kerr.
Here it is in its entirety: “My name’s Keith Kerr, from Santa Rose, California. I’m a retired brigadier general with 43 years of service. And I’m graduate of the Special Forces Officer Course, the Commanding General Staff Course and the Army War College. And I’m an openly gay man.
“I want to know why you think that American men and women are not professional enough to serve with gays and lesbians.”
CNN has been vilified in some quarters for allowing Kerr’s question, since the general also serves on a gay and lesbian steering committe for Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton.
Yes, absoutely, CNN stumbled badly in not better vetting Kerr and the general could have been more candid about his political associations.
Still, regardless of those problems, is Kerr’s question any less valid?
Why shouldn’t those aspiring to become commander-in-chief be asked about an issue, which has plagued the military for many years?
And more broadly, why shouldn’t Democrats be allowed to submit questions to Republicans?
At the same time, the GOP field also had their fair share of soft-balls, from Republican apparatchik Grover Norquist asking a question about raising taxes (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!) to NRA members offering fat juicy loaded pitches on gun control.
Where CNN committed a major gaffe was in allowing Kerr to deliver a speech from the audience, a courtesy no other questioner was allowed. Bad form, very bad form.
Finally, just a few brief observations.
Probably the best line of the night was delivered by former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee, who when asked if Jesus would permit the death pealty, retorted: “Jesus was too smart to ever run for public office.”
It was a cute line. It should also be noted, Huckabee ducked the question.
Also, is it a law or something that at least one protester at these sorts of things has to look like John Lennon? And can we please dispense with all the atrocious Woody Guthriie cover music?
Finally, Huckabee supporter Chuck Norris is a big-time movie icon, who once starred in a dreadful, horrible, terrible television series, “Walker, Texas Ranger.”
Uh, Mr. Norris, you’re 67 years old. You’ve made a ton of money. Can’t you afford a better hair-dye job. Good giref, it looked like you had pureed carrots on your head in the spin room.

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There really is no honor among thieves - or politicians.
You’ve heard all this bloviating drivel a millions times from pols on the stump - emotional appeals to honor, courage, integrity, yada, yada, yada, blah, blah, blah.
A political campaign is more than just a simple panhandling for votes. It’s a job interview.
And once the ballots are counted and a winner declared, a campaign also becomes a personal services contract of sorts between the candidate and the constituents he or she has promised to represent.
Seems pretty simple - until money gets in the way.
If you are a constituent of either Mississippi Republican Sen. Trent Lott, or Illinois Republican Rep. Denny Hastert, right about now you have to feel you’ve been played for a chump. And you have.
Last year, both men ran for re-election to their offices, presenting themselves as the best choice to represent their citizens’ interests in the United States Congress.
And their arguments apparently were convincing since both men were returned to their jobs.
However this week, both Lott and Hastert announced they would be resigning from their posts. In Lott’s case, he had five years remaining on his Senate term. Hastert is leaving with a year to go on his House term.
And if you sense an air of really stinky cheese in all these, you’re not wrong.
It’s one thing for an elected representative to announce a resignation because of health concerns, or perhaps a family crisis. That’s not the case here.
It would have been more than understandable if Lott and Hastert (both in their 60s) had announced they would not be running for re-election at the end of their terms. That’s not the case here either.
In announcing his departure, Lott said he was sitting in church the other day when the minister started quoting Ecclesiastes, Chapter Three, the famolus “To eveything there is a season,” passage.
Suddenly, Lott said, with a straight face, he decided it was time to leave the U.S. Senate into his fourth term. Perhaps there is a passage in there somewhere, which reads, “A time to grub for money, a time to shill as a lobbyist.”
The timing of the Lott and Hastert departures couldn’t be more mercenary. Congressmen leaving their jobs now, before the end of 2007, have to wait one year before actively engaging in lobbyist activities.
In 2008, that waiting period will be extended to two years. Do you sense a sleazy coincidence here?
Back in 2006 Trent Lott and Denny Hastert ran for re-election on the premise they would be around to serve their constituents.
Instead voters in Mississippi and Illinois were deceived, conned and disrespected.
You hear all the time from these phonies how public service is it’s own reward.
And it is - but only until a better deal comes along.

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It’s about time - a year to be exact.
Because behind the wheel of a car Nick Bollea makes Britney Spears look like “Driving Miss Daisy,” the son of faux wrestler Hulk Hogan, at long last, has been notified by state officials that his driving priviliges have been suspended for at least a year - and this is a result of having nothing to do with the August 26th wreck, which has left family friend, Marine John Graziano in critical condition with severe head injuries.
Rather, the year-long suspension of Bollea’s driver’s license stems from an April speeding ticket in Osceola County where this 17-year-old twerp was clocked at 106 mph.
“We have the ability to suspend somone’s license if we believe what they could be convicted of is a potential danger should this person remain on the road,” a Florida Department of Highway Safety & Motor Vehicles official told The Tribune’s Stephen Thompson, adding, “We’ve deemed him dangerous to the general public on the road.”
Gee, do ya think?!?!? And by the way, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Just why his parents, Mr. & Mrs Hulkster didn’t uniltaterally yank their doltish son off the streets after a series of speeding tickets remains a bigger mytery than what’s under that dopey rag the phony wrestler wears on his head. Probably not much - in more ways than one.
Ask yourself a simple question? If you had a 17-year-old ne’erdowell living under your roof who had managed to accumulate a collection of moving violations virtually within 20 minutes of gettting his license wuld you permit this dimbulb to drive a rickshaw, much less a high performance car?
But when it comes to the Bolleas this story has had the feel of “Deliverance” on steroids from the very beginning.
Still, thanks to the state, the streets of Clearwater will be a little bit safer, for a little while.
It’s not much in the way of justice, but it’s a start.

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Why there hasn’t been this much of a mealy-mouthed hasty retreat since Sen. Joe McCarthy failed to come up with the name of so much as a single commie lurking in the weeds of the State Department.
There was bloviating Texas gasbag, T. Boone Pickens the other day speaking before some fellow right-wing traveler’s from the Planet Zircon 9 when he made the offer to pay $1 million to anyone who could disprove a single allegation made by the Swift Boatt Veterans for Demagoguery against the Vietnam War records of the 2004 Democratic presidential nominee, Sen. John Kerry.
It was Pickens, who helped bankroll the 2004 smear campaign against Kerry, providing as much as $3 million to the Not-Too-Swift Boat Veterans attacks on the candidate, who was awarded a Silver Star, a Bronze Star and three Purple Hearts during his Vietnam service.
Indeed, despite the efforts of the Swift Boat lap dogs for T-Boone Pickens to undermine Kerry’s war record, with a single exception, members of the senator’s crews all regarded their commander as a hero.
And indeed, Kerry has allowed journalists full access to his Navy personnel and medical records and nothing has been uncovered to contradict the senator’s accounts of his service or the wounds he received.
Back in 2004, Kerry acknowledged his failure to confront the allegations made against him in a more timely, aggressive manner contributed to his election defeat.
But better late than never, so when Pickens made his $1 million offer, Kerry was quick to take up the oil barron’s challenge.
In a letter to Pickens, Kerry offered to meet in a public forum to discuss the allegations against him and his defense that they are wrong.
Kerry also requested that Pickens make his $1 million check out to the Paralyzed Veterans of America.
“I trust that you are a man of your word, having made a public challenge at a major Washington dinner and I look forward to taking you up on this challenge,” Kerry concluded in his letter to Pickens.
Man of his word? Hahahahahahaha!!!!
No sooner had Kerry responded, did Pickens start to go into full “Hummana-hummana-hummana!” mode as he attempted to change the ground rules of his initial posturing.
Responding to Kerry, Pickens said he was “intrigued by your letter,” which is vague way of saying, “I’ll share a public dais with you about the same time Pervez Musharraff and Benazir Bhutto elope.
Pickens said he was concerned about Kerry’s comtinued “malinging” of the Swift Boat Veterans. Oh really? Just how would Pickens expect Kerry to regard a group of political thugs who lied about him and possibly cost the senator the presidency? Yes, let’s have a “Duh!” here.
Pickens further welshed on his offer by changing his own ground rules for the $1 million pay-out and even refused to make the pay-off to Kerry to his choice of the Paralyzed Veterans of America.
As classy guys go, this puts T. Boone Pickens righ tup there with silly people like Tailgunner Joe and Lyndon LaRouche.
Little surprise Pickens would cut and run from his kerfuffle with Kerry.
What else would you expect from a Long Star windbag, who when it comes to honor is all hat and no cattle?

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If you closed your eyes and let yourself dream you could almost hear John Edwards singing “This Land Is My Land,” except for south of the Geogia-Florida state line.
To be sure this was a Hallmark Card experience.
“A lot of special moments happen when John Edwards is out there on the campaign trail,” breathlessly wrote David Bonior, Edwards’ presidential campaign propagandist.
The golden moment Bonior was referring to in an e-mail to potentially gullible contributors featured the former senator helping a New Orleans family rebuild their home. This was Bob Villa meets the Gallup Poll.
Headlined “Tag You’re It,” the idea behind the e-mail was to somehow encourage loyal Democrats to contribute because John Edwards cares about the little people. Gee, thanks.
This seemed like a golden opportunity and thus your humble scribbler e-mailed Bonior back, asking since indeed these moments were so special when could Florida voters expect to share one of these special moments with John Edwards on the campaign trail in Tampa, or Orlando, or Miami, or anywhere in the state?
Surely there must be someone between Panama City and Key West who could use Edwards’ help in putting up a window blind, or maybe clean out a septic tank, or possibly program a DVD player.
Alas Bonior has not responded. Perhaps the senator is too preoccupied shoveling manure in Iowa. Are you beginning to sense a trend here?
It takes a lot of brass to send letters to Florida Democrats pimping for money when the candidate is too gutless to set foot in an entire state himself to ask for votes.
And isn’t it also the height of phoniness for Edwards and the rest of the Democrat field to flit about Iowa and Nevada and New Hampshire calling for bold, visionary leadership and bragging about their courage and fighting spirit, when this entire oat bag of pols is too cowardly to even shake a Floridian’s hand?
The Democratic crop of presidential pretenders with all the spine of Shemp Howard readily agreed with national party dictates to boycott Florida’s decision to hold its presidential primary on January 29, 2008 - effectively treating the fourth largest state in the union as if it was one giant staph infection.
How insane is this? Consider that Iowa, New Hampshire, Nevada and South Carolina still don’t collectively match Florida’s electoral college vote total of 27.
And yet it is the Sunshine State, which is being treated as if it has been invited only for cocktails, while everyone else gets to stay for dinner.
If there is any justice, until Edwards and the rest of his fellow hustings sheep find the common decency to book a hotel room in Tampa, Bonior’s money-grubbing e-mail to Florida Democrats should be greated with the single digit hand gesture it deserves.
Tag, You’re It, Mr.  Bonior.

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This is rather daunting.
Some 35 years ago, when I first started working in the newspaper business, it was still a time of manual typewriters and clattering wire service machines.
Down in the composing room, type was still set in lead by linotype machines. Indeed one of most vivid memories of those days was the sight of a boiling cauldron of molten lead, stirred by a worker decked in a heavy leather protective gear - it was something out of Dickens.
After a few years a “computer” - just one - made its way into the newsroom and we gathered around the thing like the apes in “2001 - A Space Odyessey staring at the cockamamie thing and wondering what it was supposed to do. I’m still not sure.
Fast-forward to 2007 and after more than three decades in this business, I’m writing my first Blog entry. They tell me this is the wave of the future. I’ll take their word for it.
I have always been intimidated by technology. I resisted using ATMs for many years. I barely know how to use my cellphone, still can’t figure out how to get my messages.
In the late 1990s, I dreaded the prospect of using a lap-top, literally losing sleep at the idea of having to embrace a new bell, a new whistle.
And I suppose I’ve resisted the blogosphere because I simply didn’t understand it. But I need to. And so I might has well start now.
When I broached the idea of starting a blog I was asked what I would do with it.
And the candid answer is - I have no idea.
To be sure this space will weigh in with political ruminations, that’s what political junkies do after all.
As well, I suspect this blog will also, from time time, offer up observations on food, movies and whatever else is either annoying or intriguing at the moment.
Most importantly, I hope we have some fun. And so let’s begin.
Thanks in advance for reading. Now, if only I can figure out how to file this darn thing ...

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