Your lips are moving. Words are indeed coming out of your mouth. So why is it that people don’t seem to be listening to what you’re saying?

You’re not making a connection.

Mark Wiskup, a Tampa author and communication coach, says you’ll be heard, remembered, respected - and, yes, even liked - if you build a strong emotional connection when you’re talking to others.

Building those connections means more profitable business ties, more satisfying relationships with customers and co-workers and a more rewarding personal life, Wiskup says. What’s more, the extra effort you invest into building those connections now means less time and money spent fixing problems because of miscommunications later, he says.

Everyone’s born with the ability to make emotional connections with other people, but some folks may need some extra energy, tools, guidance and practice to become better communicators.

You’ll find the tools and guidance, along with examples and confidence-building assignments, in Wiskup’s latest book, “The It Factor” (Amacom, $14.95).

To get you started on the journey to becoming a better communicator who builds better connections, we’ve worked with Wiskup and compiled these seven tips.

We also sat down with Wiskup for a Q&A, which you’ll find on Page 6.

IGNORE Your Inner Cheerleader

When you’re talking to people, you’re competing for their attention. And they probably have a lot of things on their minds: global warming, dinner plans, what’s on television tonight, what’s going on in the Middle East, whether to buy an iPhone and so on.

How do you cut through all that mental clutter?

Start by eliminating your own mental baggage - specifically, the inner Mr. Rogers that says all your words are valuable and people always love listening to you. Wiskup says if you don’t ignore that inner voice, you’re probably yammering away on autopilot, and your listeners are probably zoning out.

Be Able To EXPLAIN WHAT YOU DO

When people ask what you do for a living, don’t start reciting your resume or regurgitating the marketing babble from your Web site.

“Talk about what you do for your clients - not what it says on your business card,” Wiskup says. “Do it in such a way that someone will care. Passion, not glibness, is what wins.”

For example, an accountant may want to explain that his or her firm helps clients be more successful by understanding their financial statement and paying just the right amount of taxes. He or she can also add that the firm helps clients find efficient ways to pay vendors and bill its customers.

Take Time To SAY WHY

Always make the effort to explain why people should care about what you’re saying. Never assume that they’ll make the same assumptions you’re making or that they’ll reach the same conclusions you’ve reached.

For example, if you’re telling a co-worker you need the quarterly sales figures by Thursday, he or she may figure that there’s not much harm in turning in those numbers a little late. If you explain that you need those sales figures by Thursday because you need to discuss them at an important meeting with investors on Friday morning, he or she might not be so careless about deadlines.

It’s Worth The Effort To BE DESCRIPTIVE

Good communicators paint pictures with words to get their points across. They don’t just talk about goals; they describe what it will feel like to cross the finish line.

Being descriptive takes time, energy and, in most cases, a lot more words. But Wiskup says the effort is always worth it because it forges a stronger emotional connection between the speaker and the listener.

Also, it takes less time to explain things properly upfront than it does to set things right later, he says.

SKIP THE JARGON If You Want To Sound Smarter

You won’t impress anyone by peppering your conversations with industry phrases and acronyms. You’ll make a stronger connect if you explain things clearly to people.

People who use jargon repeatedly aren’t proving anything, except that they’re capable of parroting words and phrases they heard elsewhere, Wiskup says.

SPICE Up Your Statistics So People Will Care

When you have statistics and numbers to relay, don’t just throw them out there. Wiskup says to be as descriptive as possible: Paint a picture for your audience about what the numbers mean, what the figures represent, what the statistics say.

If you’re telling people that your company’s sales rose 41 percent last year, explain how they rose 41 percent. If sales fell, explain why. Talk about what people in your firm are doing to make sure that the increases keep coming - or the decreases decline.

It’s impossible to do business without talking numbers and math, Wiskup says, but don’t let these trips into Microsoft Excel territory detour you from your goal of making strong, memorable connections with other people.

Don’t Come Across As A PATRONIZING BOOR

You might sound patronizing and not even know it!

Once you’ve started building a connection, Wiskup says, avoid words and phrases that might make you sound insincere, such as “honestly,” “certainly” and “basically.” He also advises against conversational distractions such as sports analogies and dated pop culture catchphrases including “don’t go there.”

It’s often best to say what you mean, instead of repeating something someone said last night on “SportsCenter” or “Ugly Betty.”

Reporter Dave Simanoff can be reached at (813) 259-7762 or dsimanoff@tampatrib.com.

Insights May Help People Enjoy Life, Business More

Mark Wiskup, a Tampa author and communications coach, shares more insights in an interview.

Why is it advantageous for people to become better communicators?

It’s a matter of getting the most out of life and out of your career.

If you want to have the most fun at work, if your goal is to make the most money, and if you want to get the most out of your friendships and your relationships, you have to connect with people.

Otherwise, you’re just going part of the way.

What is the “it factor”?

It’s the ability to connect with other people in such a way that they’re hearing you and not tuning you out.

It’s the first step to getting people to agree with you, to understand you - and, even if they don’t agree with you, to respect you.

What should people do if they’re out and they feel they simply can’t connect with other people?

If you can’t ask someone a question - [such as] what do they do? - then stay at home and watch TV. You have to be willing to ask a couple of questions.

I say ask three. What do you do? Once they tell you what they do, ask how their clients like that. Then offer up something of your own. If you don’t feel like you’ve connected, move on.

How did you get interested in this subject?

Ever since I was a reporter, I wondered why certain people make connections, whether they were at a cocktail party or a business meeting or making a speech, and why some people always fail.

I started watching and taking notes. I found out that the people who are good at making connections, the people we like seeing, were following a certain set of rules.

That’s what the book’s about: the rules that let you connect with others.

Young professionals might feel nervous about approaching an older businessperson. What’s your advice in that situation?

It’s a moment of joy when a younger person, at a business function, approaches an older person and says, “Tell me about your firm.”

If the goal is not to sell anything at that moment, just to make a connection, the older person feels flattered and delighted that the young pup is asking them a question.

Reporter Dave Simanoff can be reached at (813) 259-7762 or dsimanoff@tampatrib.com.