If you closed your eyes and let yourself dream you could almost hear John Edwards singing “This Land Is My Land,” except for south of the Geogia-Florida state line.
To be sure this was a Hallmark Card experience.
“A lot of special moments happen when John Edwards is out there on the campaign trail,” breathlessly wrote David Bonior, Edwards’ presidential campaign propagandist.
The golden moment Bonior was referring to in an e-mail to potentially gullible contributors featured the former senator helping a New Orleans family rebuild their home. This was Bob Villa meets the Gallup Poll.
Headlined “Tag You’re It,” the idea behind the e-mail was to somehow encourage loyal Democrats to contribute because John Edwards cares about the little people. Gee, thanks.
This seemed like a golden opportunity and thus your humble scribbler e-mailed Bonior back, asking since indeed these moments were so special when could Florida voters expect to share one of these special moments with John Edwards on the campaign trail in Tampa, or Orlando, or Miami, or anywhere in the state?
Surely there must be someone between Panama City and Key West who could use Edwards’ help in putting up a window blind, or maybe clean out a septic tank, or possibly program a DVD player.
Alas Bonior has not responded. Perhaps the senator is too preoccupied shoveling manure in Iowa. Are you beginning to sense a trend here?
It takes a lot of brass to send letters to Florida Democrats pimping for money when the candidate is too gutless to set foot in an entire state himself to ask for votes.
And isn’t it also the height of phoniness for Edwards and the rest of the Democrat field to flit about Iowa and Nevada and New Hampshire calling for bold, visionary leadership and bragging about their courage and fighting spirit, when this entire oat bag of pols is too cowardly to even shake a Floridian’s hand?
The Democratic crop of presidential pretenders with all the spine of Shemp Howard readily agreed with national party dictates to boycott Florida’s decision to hold its presidential primary on January 29, 2008 - effectively treating the fourth largest state in the union as if it was one giant staph infection.
How insane is this? Consider that Iowa, New Hampshire, Nevada and South Carolina still don’t collectively match Florida’s electoral college vote total of 27.
And yet it is the Sunshine State, which is being treated as if it has been invited only for cocktails, while everyone else gets to stay for dinner.
If there is any justice, until Edwards and the rest of his fellow hustings sheep find the common decency to book a hotel room in Tampa, Bonior’s money-grubbing e-mail to Florida Democrats should be greated with the single digit hand gesture it deserves.
Tag, You’re It, Mr.  Bonior.