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Dr. Seuss And Politics: The Candidates From Bad To Verse


That was a fun story in Friday Extra about the exhibit, “Dr. Seuss For President,” which showcases the good doctor’s activist side. Fun, too, were the parody poems by the Trib’s Kevin Walker, his take on what Seuss might have written about today’s political players. (You can enjoy the piece on TBO by clicking on Entertainment and searching for Seuss. You can even submit your own parodies.)

In fact, Kevin inspired me to try my own hand at a Seussian verse, one that pays proper tribute to all those jaunty fellows who auditioned for the hot seat in the Oval Office ... and didn’t make the cut.

Here’s a bit of satire that’s just what the Doctor ordered:

Oh, The Races You’ll Blow!

Step right up! Come on in!
Don’t let votes trouble you!
Throw your hat in the ring!
Be the new W!

The candidates gather,
Like ticks on a pup:
They all seem like winners --
Until they speak up.

All the claims! All the rants!
All the mind-twisting talking!
Soon they’re dropping like flies.
Over there: Dodd man walking!

And Rudy? Just one thing
Could save his political life;
If he could count on a vote
From his every ex-wife!

One after another
They’re unable to please;
Few voters were saying
I love Huckabee’s!

It’s like choosing from ice cream
Made of gravy and spinach.
Thompson, gone! Romney, out!
Say goodbye to Kucinich!

Gilmore’s ousted, like Hunter
And Richardson, too;
And even Tom Vilsack’s
Own parents said—WHO?!

For dashing John Edwards
‘Twas a losing affair;
Though throughout you just had
To admire his hair.

The one they most pillory
With their heavy artillery
For her latent hillbillery:
Let’s hear it for Hillary!

But one canny fellow
Avoids the clean sweep;
Joe was Biden his time --
Now read it and veep!


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Jennifer Leigh:

Jennifer Leigh, a reporter in Polk County, joined News Channel 8 in March 1993. She is a fifth-generation Floridian, who was born in Miami and grew up in Polk County. Email


Joe Martin:

Joe Martin is a photojournalist for NewsChannel 8. He recently moved here from Harrisburg, Penn. Martin, 26, has also worked in television in Wilkes-Barre, Penn. and Las Vegas. "I got into this business because I love meeting new people, and telling their stories," Martin says. Email


Ted Hoffman:

Ted Hoffman, an award-winning newspaper writer, editor, critic and columnist for 30 years on both coasts, but not at the same time, lives in Lakeland with his wife and son. An anthologized fiction writer and former stand-up comedian, he spends his free time knitting toupees for bald eagles. Email


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