Natalie Thomas isn’t making any compromises.

The 35-year-old associate at Holland & Knight in Tampa is honing her skills as a construction litigation lawyer, having recently earned a prestigious board certification, and she looks forward to being nominated as a partner.

She has also recently participated in her son’s pre-K apple pie baking day, and she looks forward to dinner and weekends with her family.

“I always wanted to be a mother — I blink my eyes and my son’s already 4 years old. But being challenged and having a rewarding career is also rewarding to me,” Thomas said.

Reporter Dave Simanoff can be reached at (813) 259-7762 or dsimanoff@tampatrib.com.

“I want a fulfilling personal life, and I want the flexibility to develop my career on my path.”

It wasn’t too long ago that Thomas and other professionals would have been asked to sacrifice personal goals to further career ambitions. But today, professionals are embracing new attitudes about success.

Some, such as Thomas, are learning to balance a rewarding career with a satisfying personal life. Others say personal considerations are playing a larger role in the types of jobs they choose and the number of hours they’re working a week.

Experts attribute the trend to a handful of factors:

A wave of new technology. This allows people to stay productive and remain in touch with clients and co-workers, even if they’re not in the office.

The rise of the Millennial Generation. This large and highly vocal demographic group is just now entering the workforce and expects employers to understand the balance between professional and personal life.

That, in turn, is changing corporate mores and shaking up baby-boomer obstinacy.

Long-term career paths. Many young employees don’t envision spending their entire career with a single company.

So the rewards that may have tempted previous generations to scrap their personal lives for long hours at work — such as a corner office after 30 years of toil — aren’t nearly as tempting anymore.

“Instead of there being one social norm of success, success is becoming a much more open question. It’s a much more multivariable concept,” said workplace expert Bruce Tulgan, author of “It’s Okay to Be the Boss” and founder of Rainmaker Thinking in New Haven, Conn.

Many people no longer want to forfeit their personal lives for money, rank and seniority — especially when the payoff is so many years in the future, Tulgan said.

“To Generation Y [the Millennial Generation], that sounds absurd,” he said. “It sounds like you’re trying to sell them a bridge.”

Interior Designer Mom Works 4 Days

Mary Farley is one of the professionals who opted to work fewer hours in the office.

After she gave birth to her first son seven years ago, she returned to her commercial interior design career. She quickly realized she would be happier working four days a week.

It was worrisome asking her bosses to change her schedule, but she knew she was respected and liked at work. The company agreed to let her work Monday through Thursday.

Now Farley works for CLW Real Estate Services Group in Tampa, where she coordinates interior design planning and standards for one of her company’s clients, a major financial services firm.

She still works four days a week. Today, she has two sons.

Once or twice a week, she works from home, pulling up all her work documents and files through a virtual private network on her home computer and teleconferencing with architects and designers in Chicago, Atlanta and New York.

“Being a working mother has its challenges, and working a day or two at home, with a four-day schedule, really eases the stress of trying to do it all,” Farley said. “It reduces the risk of burnout, too.”

It’s important to have a boss who trusts employees to work from home and gives those employees the tools to work away from the office, Farley said.

“It says they believe in me as a professional and value me as an employee,” she said. “It says they know I don’t have to be in the office to perform and succeed.”

Farley said she believes success comes from balancing her personal and professional goals.

“Success is to exceed the expectations of your client and employer, while maintaining a level of connection to your personal life,” she said.

Not Just About The Money

Lawyer Jared Smith said he considers the needs of his family and his wife, Suzette, when he weighs job offers.

Before accepting his current job a year ago at Rumberger, Kirk and Caldwell, the former Air Force JAG officer weighed several offers.

“One of the jobs promised well over $200,000 a year, but I looked at the hours that the attorneys were putting in, and I made the decision that even though the pay was excellent, it was not going to fit into my priorities,” he said.

Smith knows it might take him longer to achieve his career goals than someone who doesn’t have a family to raise. He knows it’s about balance.

“Ultimately, may this hurt my career a little bit? Could I have had more exposure, or could I have gotten my name out a little bit more? Yes, but I’m choosing to make that sacrifice,” he said. “I’m OK with that. I’m OK to go a little bit slower.”

Back at Holland & Knight’s offices —which, coincidentally, are just a few floors up from Rumberger, Kirk and Caldwell, in the same downtown Tampa office building — lawyer Natalie Thomas is comfortable with the speed at which her career is progressing.

The number of hours spent in the office? That’s a moot point, she said. It’s the quality of the work that’s most meaningful to her, her clients and her employer, she said. She, too, knows it’s about balance.

“It’s really important to find a place where you can perform that balancing act,” she said.

Your lips are moving. Words are indeed coming out of your mouth. So why is it that people don’t seem to be listening to what you’re saying?

You’re not making a connection.

Mark Wiskup, a Tampa author and communication coach, says you’ll be heard, remembered, respected - and, yes, even liked - if you build a strong emotional connection when you’re talking to others.

Building those connections means more profitable business ties, more satisfying relationships with customers and co-workers and a more rewarding personal life, Wiskup says. What’s more, the extra effort you invest into building those connections now means less time and money spent fixing problems because of miscommunications later, he says.

Everyone’s born with the ability to make emotional connections with other people, but some folks may need some extra energy, tools, guidance and practice to become better communicators.

You’ll find the tools and guidance, along with examples and confidence-building assignments, in Wiskup’s latest book, “The It Factor” (Amacom, $14.95).

To get you started on the journey to becoming a better communicator who builds better connections, we’ve worked with Wiskup and compiled these seven tips.

We also sat down with Wiskup for a Q&A, which you’ll find on Page 6.

IGNORE Your Inner Cheerleader

When you’re talking to people, you’re competing for their attention. And they probably have a lot of things on their minds: global warming, dinner plans, what’s on television tonight, what’s going on in the Middle East, whether to buy an iPhone and so on.

How do you cut through all that mental clutter?

Start by eliminating your own mental baggage - specifically, the inner Mr. Rogers that says all your words are valuable and people always love listening to you. Wiskup says if you don’t ignore that inner voice, you’re probably yammering away on autopilot, and your listeners are probably zoning out.

Be Able To EXPLAIN WHAT YOU DO

When people ask what you do for a living, don’t start reciting your resume or regurgitating the marketing babble from your Web site.

“Talk about what you do for your clients - not what it says on your business card,” Wiskup says. “Do it in such a way that someone will care. Passion, not glibness, is what wins.”

For example, an accountant may want to explain that his or her firm helps clients be more successful by understanding their financial statement and paying just the right amount of taxes. He or she can also add that the firm helps clients find efficient ways to pay vendors and bill its customers.

Take Time To SAY WHY

Always make the effort to explain why people should care about what you’re saying. Never assume that they’ll make the same assumptions you’re making or that they’ll reach the same conclusions you’ve reached.

For example, if you’re telling a co-worker you need the quarterly sales figures by Thursday, he or she may figure that there’s not much harm in turning in those numbers a little late. If you explain that you need those sales figures by Thursday because you need to discuss them at an important meeting with investors on Friday morning, he or she might not be so careless about deadlines.

It’s Worth The Effort To BE DESCRIPTIVE

Good communicators paint pictures with words to get their points across. They don’t just talk about goals; they describe what it will feel like to cross the finish line.

Being descriptive takes time, energy and, in most cases, a lot more words. But Wiskup says the effort is always worth it because it forges a stronger emotional connection between the speaker and the listener.

Also, it takes less time to explain things properly upfront than it does to set things right later, he says.

SKIP THE JARGON If You Want To Sound Smarter

You won’t impress anyone by peppering your conversations with industry phrases and acronyms. You’ll make a stronger connect if you explain things clearly to people.

People who use jargon repeatedly aren’t proving anything, except that they’re capable of parroting words and phrases they heard elsewhere, Wiskup says.

SPICE Up Your Statistics So People Will Care

When you have statistics and numbers to relay, don’t just throw them out there. Wiskup says to be as descriptive as possible: Paint a picture for your audience about what the numbers mean, what the figures represent, what the statistics say.

If you’re telling people that your company’s sales rose 41 percent last year, explain how they rose 41 percent. If sales fell, explain why. Talk about what people in your firm are doing to make sure that the increases keep coming - or the decreases decline.

It’s impossible to do business without talking numbers and math, Wiskup says, but don’t let these trips into Microsoft Excel territory detour you from your goal of making strong, memorable connections with other people.

Don’t Come Across As A PATRONIZING BOOR

You might sound patronizing and not even know it!

Once you’ve started building a connection, Wiskup says, avoid words and phrases that might make you sound insincere, such as “honestly,” “certainly” and “basically.” He also advises against conversational distractions such as sports analogies and dated pop culture catchphrases including “don’t go there.”

It’s often best to say what you mean, instead of repeating something someone said last night on “SportsCenter” or “Ugly Betty.”

Reporter Dave Simanoff can be reached at (813) 259-7762 or dsimanoff@tampatrib.com.

Insights May Help People Enjoy Life, Business More

Mark Wiskup, a Tampa author and communications coach, shares more insights in an interview.

Why is it advantageous for people to become better communicators?

It’s a matter of getting the most out of life and out of your career.

If you want to have the most fun at work, if your goal is to make the most money, and if you want to get the most out of your friendships and your relationships, you have to connect with people.

Otherwise, you’re just going part of the way.

What is the “it factor”?

It’s the ability to connect with other people in such a way that they’re hearing you and not tuning you out.

It’s the first step to getting people to agree with you, to understand you - and, even if they don’t agree with you, to respect you.

What should people do if they’re out and they feel they simply can’t connect with other people?

If you can’t ask someone a question - [such as] what do they do? - then stay at home and watch TV. You have to be willing to ask a couple of questions.

I say ask three. What do you do? Once they tell you what they do, ask how their clients like that. Then offer up something of your own. If you don’t feel like you’ve connected, move on.

How did you get interested in this subject?

Ever since I was a reporter, I wondered why certain people make connections, whether they were at a cocktail party or a business meeting or making a speech, and why some people always fail.

I started watching and taking notes. I found out that the people who are good at making connections, the people we like seeing, were following a certain set of rules.

That’s what the book’s about: the rules that let you connect with others.

Young professionals might feel nervous about approaching an older businessperson. What’s your advice in that situation?

It’s a moment of joy when a younger person, at a business function, approaches an older person and says, “Tell me about your firm.”

If the goal is not to sell anything at that moment, just to make a connection, the older person feels flattered and delighted that the young pup is asking them a question.

Reporter Dave Simanoff can be reached at (813) 259-7762 or dsimanoff@tampatrib.com.

By CORRIE BENFIELD
The Tampa Tribune

What job requires you to have the skills of a psychologist, a plumber, a personal shopper, an animal control officer, a janitor and a chief operating officer? If you’re an office manager, you already know.

These skills might not be in the job description, but they popped up in a survey by Staples of more than 8,000 office managers.

More than half of the managers said they perform the jobs of at least 10 different workers in one week, reported the office supply company, which solicited responses on its Web site.

As part of the survey, Salary.com determined that some managers could be making $90,000 a year based on the variety of work they do. That compares with the industry average of $54,000.

Despite their hectic work lives, the managers kept their sense of humor. Here are some of the office supplies they compared themselves to and some of the oddest responsibilities they have taken on.

Stapler: I am always holding it all together.

Liquid paper: I am constantly covering up people’s mistakes.

Calendar: I keep track of everyone’s events.

Correction fluid: My job changes from minute to minute.

Staple remover: I undo problems.

Calculator: I am always crunching numbers.

Glue stick: I hold it all together.

Fire extinguisher: I constantly put out fires.

Mouse: I am always all over the place.

File folder: I am constantly organizing.

Copier: I have to record everything.

Packing tape: Everyone depends on me to hold this place together.

MOST UNUSUAL JOBS
Talk about multitasking. Here are some of the oddest tasks office managers noted on the Staples survey.
•Unclogging the toilet while being on hold on the phone and signing for a delivery

•Helping the owners plan a family vacation

•Buying the boss’s mother a birthday card

•Clearing snow from the parking lot

•Scooping the cat litter

•Giving the boss a haircut

•Babysitting the boss’s kids

•Cleaning pigeon poop off the sidewalks

•Breaking up an office romance

•Paying the rent one month because the business owner didn’t have the money

•Overseeing the remodeling and decorating of the office and restrooms

•Taking an employee shopping for proper attire

•Figuring out what to do about animals trapped inside the office walls

•Storing someone’s ashes

By DAVE SIMANOFF
The Tampa Tribune

Honor thy mother and father. But think twice before honoring their career advice.

Penelope Trunk, the blogger and author we’re interviewing in today’s Tampa Tribune, says parents today often miss the mark when it comes to career advice for recent college graduates and young professionals.

The problem? The parents are baby boomers, and they’re dispensing advice that worked for members of their generation. The advice is passe because their children are members of the Millennial generation, also called Generation Y, which has different expectations about work and success.

The advice also is outdated because the workplace is changing, too, mainly to accommodate the Millennial employees.

“Baby boomers’ kids trust them so much, but their parents are giving advice that’s not going to help them be happy,” Trunk says. “The parents just need a little education about what the new work force entails.”

Here, Trunk shares the five worst pieces of advice that baby boomer parents give their Millennial children - and why the advice isn’t good:

Don’t Job Hop
Job hopping is so commonplace today that even HR departments that pretend to frown upon it won’t actually penalize anyone for it. In fact, job hopping is one of the fastest and most efficient ways Millennial workers build their career networks and learn skills, Trunk says.

“These days, the scariest thing in the world is to be in a job for seven years, then have to look for a job,” she says.

Make Enough Money To Support Yourself
Let junior move back into the house. If you force your kids to support themselves right out of high school or college, you’ll force them into jobs or career fields that may pay well but that they might not enjoy.

Baby boomer parents must realize that, adjusted for inflation, entry-level jobs don’t pay as well as they once did, Trunk says.

In addition, the costs of obtaining an education are much higher than they used to be, health care costs are astronomical, and Millennials have monthly expenses for items that were luxuries, or simply unheard of, when baby boomers were young, such as Internet access and cell phone service.

“If everybody had to support themselves, we’d have a glut of investment bankers,” she says.

Don’t Let There Be Any Gaps On Your Resume
It’s OK to take time off to travel, learn a new skill or do volunteer work. Just make sure your child is prepared to talk about what he or she has learned from these experiences, Trunk says.

“Having big ideas is what’s going to make a career, and the only way to have a big idea is to give yourself space to breathe,” she says. “So it doesn’t matter if you have a gap. It matters how you talk about it.”

Go To Grad School
Many people, including quite a few boomer parents, have unrealistic expectations about MBAs, law degrees, MFAs and PhDs. If you’re confused about your career options, grad school won’t necessarily give you perspective; however, it will provide plenty of bills, Trunk warns.

“You think you get a graduate degree and you’re on a nice, safe path. … But you better know exactly what you’re going to do with that degree afterward,” she says.

Work Hard And You’ll Be Rewarded
Put your nose to the grindstone? “That’s great for history class,” Trunk says. “But the work world is about teamwork and helping each other and vision; it’s a totally different skill set.”

The Millennial generation is transforming the American workplace, and competition is giving way to collaboration.

“Some people get so uppity about how the workplace is changing, but everyone should be excited to make this shift now,” she says. “It should be exciting to go to a workplace where people are rewarded for kindness.”

Reporter Dave Simanoff can be reached at (813) 259-7762 or dsimanoff@tampatrib.com.

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