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How to raise kids who are good helpers

Posted Jul 6, 2010 by Beth Gaddis

Updated Jul 6, 2010 at 11:32 AM

I received this e-mail today and thought it had some great tips:

Many children are ready for independence at an early age, but often parents struggle with how much responsibility to give them and when.

It is important to have reasonable expectations for your child, so that they can achieve the goals you set for them and feel a sense of pride and accomplishment. While parents should offer support and encouragement, they also need to allow their child to learn from their mistakes and become self-reliant.

“Encouraging independence in children is an important step in the development of their self-confidence and decision-making skills,” said Laura Olson, vice president of education for Kiddie Academy, a national educational child care franchisor. “It is important to find the balance between letting your children do things on their own while still providing them with the help and guidance they need to succeed.”

Olson recommends the following tips for fostering responsibility and independence in children:

Start small. When assigning responsibilities to a young child, try giving them small, specific projects one at a time rather than large, multi-step tasks. For example, rather than just asking a child to clean his room, ask him first to pick up any toys that may be on the floor or to put his dirty clothes in the hamper.

Don’t expect perfection. Your child may not complete tasks in the exact manner you would like them done, but this doesn’t mean they can’t do them. Resist the urge to correct or improve their work every time, as this could hurt their self-esteem and discourage them.


Give your child choices, but not too many. Open-ended questions can be overwhelming. Instead, narrow down the options and let them choose between two that you can live with. Rather than asking them what they want for a snack, ask whether they would prefer an apple or a banana. This way you are in control, but they get to make the final decision.

Resist the urge to do tasks that they can do for themselves. It may take your child longer to tie his shoes, or empty the dishwasher, but letting them complete tasks on their own will build their confidence and problem-solving skills.


Remember to praise their accomplishments. Letting your child know that you appreciate their help and hard work will encourage them to take on more responsibilities and advance them on the path to independence.


For more education and parenting tips, sign up for the Parenting Essentials newsletter at www.kiddieacademy.com/newsletter.