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Helping kids is child’s play

Posted Feb 25, 2010 by Beth Gaddis

Updated Mar 2, 2010 at 07:21 AM

When my kids and I walk around our block, we pass house after house sitting empty.  In one case, the couple split up.  In others, the banks foreclosed.  In all of the cases, the families are missing, gone to live with relatives or friends or in a smaller apartment.

For both the kids involved and for the kids left behind, it’s tough.  I talked on Tuesday to a mental health counselor who has traveled the globe helping children cope with disasters: the 2004 tsunami, the 2005 hurricanes, the Haiti earthquake.  She’s helped homeless children at Metropolitan Ministries and now is teaching parents how to help their children through play therapy.

“It definitely helps kids who are witnessing their friends go through a hard time because children are so egocentric that if it’s happening to somebody else, they think it could and will happen to them,” said Jennifer Baggerly, an associate professor at the University of South Florida.  “If they have to cut back on swimming or gymnastics, they start to think, ‘Uh oh, my family is in trouble, too.’ “

I’ve seen that with my own son.  I would’ve loved to have him play in the Soccer Shots program at his preschool, but it’s $40 a week for just 30 minutes of play.  Financially, that’s not something we can do right now.  We don’t go out to eat, we don’t go to the movies, we don’t have big birthday parties.  But that’s not all bad.

We spend a lot of time playing outside.  We spend a lot of time blowing bubbles, playing make-believe, and coloring.  We spend a lot of time snuggling up, reading books or watching TV.  Turns out that’s all part of play therapy, and some of it can be very illuminating.

Ask your child to draw a picture of everyone in the family doing something.  If your daughter has mommy and daddy and brother all playing together and her sitting alone, she may be feeling isolated.  If your son draws a picture that has people showing lots of teeth, he may be feeling aggressive.  Is there a lot of heavy shading?  That can be a sign of anxiety, Baggerly says.

If your child is really upset, but can’t or won’t talk about it, here are some other things you can have him try:

Butterfly Breathing: Link hands behind head and breathe deeply.
Butterfly Hug: Have the child hug himself.
3-2-1 Game: Identify three things you can see, hear and touch, then repeat finding two things, then one thing.
Contain fears: Place a scary picture in an envelope and store in a secure place.
Play-Doh worry object: Create a dolphin that can swim worries away.
Body Burrito: Wrap the child in a blanket.
Tense like a Tinman, Relax like a Ragdoll: tense all your muscles, then go limp.
Blow bubbles.

Earlier this month, Baggerly began hosting a 10-week class for parents looking to learn new ways to connect with their children and allay their fears.  She’ll share her techniques as well at the USF Children’s Festival on March 6 from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. at the USF College of Education.  Festival details

Children in Sri Lanka drew these pictures after the 2004 tsunami. Photos provided by Jennifer Baggerly

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