The five words every mom loves - and hates

Posted Jan 29, 2010 by Beth Gaddis

Updated Jan 29, 2010 at 11:50 AM

Whew.  My 4-year-old is normal.  For a second, I thought he was just put here to drive my crazy.

We’re deep into the “I can do it myself!” phase.  Another name would be, “Let Mommy close her eyes and count to 10.” 

I love that Jay’s independent.  I love that he wants to try to do things himself.  I love that he’s learning so much every day. 

I hate that it takes so freaking long to get anything done. 

I also hate it when that dreaded phrase comes out at moments he CAN’T do something himself.  Like at the zoo, when he wanted to go into the bathroom by himself.

“No Mommy, I can do it myself!” 

“Um, no, honey, you can’t go into the men’s room by yourself, but come with me in here and I’ll stand outside the stall.  Then I’ll give you extra bubbles when you wash your hands.”

Compromising with a preschooler is an art form.

Jay loves to help around the house but doesn’t understand why I won’t give him the Glass Plus bottle or let him unload the glasses and knives from the dishwasher.  The proud proclamation of “I can do it myself!” quickly deteriorates into an “I CAN DO IT MYSELF” scream followed by the ever-popular “I’m not going to be your friend anymore.”

Deep breath.  Count to 10.  And focus on all the skills he has mastered through trial and error: drinking from a regular cup, getting dressed, strapping himself into his car seat.  He even brushes his teeth without a fuss, although he raises his foot to let me know when he needs to spit, which I think is a little odd. 

Babycenter.com informed me today that Jay’s behavior is right on schedule.  It’s nice to have the affirmation.  I’m proud of him and proud he wants to do more.  I just hope my patience level matches his learning curve.

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