Weekend Tweats [The Tastiest, Briefest Words About Food In 140 Characters Or Less]

By Jeff Houck

The Tampa Tribune - WFLA - TBO

Posted August 05, 2012 at 10:14 AM

The funniest food-related things I saw this week?

Both came in t-shirt form.

The first was witnessed yesterday when I stopped at a food truck on Hillsborough Avenue.

I hadn’t seen the Smokehouse Grille before, but the traffic-cone-orange color and the “Gilligan’s Island” font on the signage caught my eye.

That and the inversely printed Coke cup.

HELLO? PHOTOSHOP DISASTERS?

Anyway, there was a huge, very pork-centric menu from which to choose:

Boiled peanuts, smoked mullet and devil crab?

I’M IN!

Oh, right, the funny part. I’m getting to it.

I went to order, choosing a rib sammich and getting a sausage and peppers for my Official Offspring of The Stew.

The gentleman owner of this establishment says, “We have tilapia.”

Okay, I say. My poker face shows that I’m not willing to jump off the fish-by-the-side-of-the-road high dive just yet.

“It’s a whole tilapia.”

Okay.

“It’s from the ocean, not the freezer.”

I politely passed.

Then I noticed this good gentleman’s shirt. And I almost reconsidered, because, hey, if you can pull off a self-tailored shirt that reads, “HOW MAY I IGNORE YOU TODAY?” then you deserve a tilapia sale.

Perfection.

Per.

Fection.

Second funniest thing came at The Swap Shop, also on Hillsborough Avenue, also yesterday.

Not long after walking into the flea market, I saw a table selling pigeons, parakeets, bunnies and roosters.

It was exactly what you are now thinking in your mind.

This wasn’t a pet table. This was a dinner table dressed as a pet table.

The best part of it was this shirt:

It reads, and I quote, “I’M NOT AS GOOD AS I ONCE WAS, BUT I’M AS GOOD ONCE AS I EVER WAS.”

Thank you, Toby Keith. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Okay, time for the week’s best food tweets. Try not to spit up your coffee:

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