The Clinton-Obama debate last night made us realize that the time has finally come for us to discuss one of the more serious issues that will play an increasingly important role in the upcoming presidential election. 

Of course we’re talking about the outfits. 

Here’s the thing:  When it comes to a public image, Obama Gets It, but Hillary, (bless her heart)...doesn’t. 

Which surprises us, considering how meticulously the Clintons and their staff research voter reactions and preferences. 

    While there’s no doubt in our minds that everything Hillary puts on has been carefully chosen by a team of consultants whose job it is to know what will have the most favorable effect on the largest numbers of voters, we would think that Ms. HRC would know by now that personal style, like a political platform, needs to be made up of more than just polling data results. 


   
This is not to say that Obama doesn’t have his own image consultant(s).  In fact, we’re certain he does.  His are just way better. 



A look at a few pictures will show you what we mean:

 

   

Hillary’s default uniform has long been the black or navy “mannish” pantsuit.  Whether this is for feminist reasons or because she prefers to keep her cankles hidden isn’t clear, but either way, this is obviously what she feels most comfortable in.   Which is why we actually think this is her best look, at least if it were done right.  (Like, for instance, if the above suit actually fit her it would look a lot better.) 

But her Image Team obviously felt that HRC needed to soften things up a bit, so lately she’s been wearing a more feminine version of the pantsuit, consisting of a long, small-lapeled jacket paired with a long, usually belted knit top underneath.

We see the logic behind this switch: The longer jacket supposedly minimizes wider hips while the high-belted waist visually elongates the legs and draws the eye up.
And it works, mostly, except for the fact that the bottom of the shirt brings the eye right back down to that vast expanse of tummy region, which is not, I’m guessing,  what Clinton wanted to emphasize.  (Or maybe she did—was her audience that day made up of predominantly post-menopausal women voters?  We just can’t tell…although the lady sitting behind her certainly seems like she’d be sympathetic to a little midsection bloat.)

   

She also switched from a cool palette of blacks, blues and reds to the warmer brown-based tones and has started wearing colorful jewelry. 

We’re not sure if this is another campaign strategy to appeal to a certain voting segment (it’s an old cliche that working-class and academic types favor brown and tan suits and white-collar and financial types favor black and gray) or whether she simply   “had her colors done”  as part of her image-enhancement (”Why, Hillary, you’ve been a Spring all along!” ) , but the peach lipstick and the bright  jewelry around her face is obviously designed to warm up the Senator’s image.

In theory, this all has a nice, fuzzy Tim Gunn Makeover feel to it, and she does look pretty, but in practice, it just doesn’t work for us.  Hillary Clinton is a strong, no-nonsense woman who looks about as comfortable in a  and a necklace/ earrings set as a dog in a Halloween costume. 



Barack Obama’s image transformation, interestingly enough, is kind a reverse-version of Hillary’s.

The fact that it’s hard to believe he wasn’t born in his meticulously tailored charcoal two-button suit is a testament to the power of the right uniform on the right person. 

But look at him a year and a half ago in this baggy brown suit:

(Anyone who thought Obama had an unfair advantage when it comes to clothes because he’s blessed with a model’s physique can see here that the difference between looking trim and looking scrawny is sometimes just a matter of good tailoring.)


And this short-sleeved shirt and pleated khakis getup makes him look like, well, a big dork:

The difference between that outfit and this more recent jacketless look

is like the difference between Jerry Lewis and Carey Grant. 
Guess which one we’d rather have as president?

But perhaps the most ingenious component of Barack’s look is the fact that it’s always the same now.  (White shirt, dark pants, dark suit. )  Not only does this make him make him seem more consistent and reliable, but it also means that people are less likely to be distracted from his message by what he’s wearing.  

So how can Hillary use some of Barack’s strategies for her own image?

Well, for one thing,  there’s no reason why Hillary should have given up her old look—it just needed some up-scaling to better fabrics and tailoring.  (Why politicians feel like they have to dress in cheap, unflattering suits is beyond us).  A fitted, buttoned jacket and boot-cut trousers would, in our opinion, be far more flattering to her pear shape than a long boxy jacket and tapered pants, and if she wears jewelry at all it should be simple and sculptural—and we’d lean towards precious metals and gems.  (How great would a blue topaz and platinum necklace look with those icy eyes? And why on earth would she ever wear a strand of pearls, which are practically synonymous with “politician’s wife”? )  

Seriously, Hill—lace and pearls?

The truth is, there’s nothing wrong with a menswear- oriented look when it’s done well—heck, Diane Keaton and Ellen Degeneres have been doing it for years.

  In fact, we wish Ellen had done an intervention on this hideous outfit when they were hanging out in New York City together last fall :

See, Hillary, how my pants go straight down and not in at the ankles like yours?  And how much more flattering my loose-but-not-baggy sweater—with the visual interest on the upper half—is than your top that has what looks like a map of Asia splayed across your abdomen?  And what’s with the huge baggy jacket sleeves and the puckery seams on those pants—you didn’t throw them in the washer, did you?  Tell me you did NOT put dry-clean only pants in the washing machine…”

We will say that at least last night, her jacket fit well and not too big in the shoulders, which is a step in the right direction.  But the style win still clearly goes to Obama, who gets bonus points for ignoring the long-ingrained red-or-blue-striped tie rule and going with a “time for a change” silver medallion-pattern. 

Now there’s a candidate who’s image matches his message. 
Or at least we think it does.  Wait—what is it he stands for again?  Maybe we should start watching these things with the sound turned up…

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Sometimes one has to let the dust settle for a while in order to see what’s what when it comes to fashion, which is one of the reasons why we’ve been so quiet this month.

The fact of the matter is,  December and January tend to be kind of an off-season time for trend-watchers, because the Spring 2008 collections are just beginning to arrive in the stores and onto the style pages.  And while we know what the designers have to offer from viewing the Spring ‘08 shows last fall, it’s still anyone’s guess which looks will actually take hold at the mass-market retail level (which is, let’s face it, where most of us are sitting right now).

A lot will depend on what we see at the Fall 2008 Fashion Week shows in Bryant park next week in terms of what’s going to carry over into next year.  Most of us consider these shows to be the official spring shopping Season Opener, since only after glimpsing what’s in the hopper for next fall can we be sure that, for instance, shift dresses and high-vamped shoes are still a hot buy, or whether we’d be better off starting to think about pants and skirts again instead. 


But there’s also something to be said for taking stock of what’s cropping up right now—before the fall designs come in and complicate the picture—to get a foothold on what’s truly current.
Which is why we’ve been busy sifting through the current fashion intel to see what the early vibe is for 2008. 

Here are the three biggest trends we’re seeing so far:  (the images are from the Feb. 2008 issue of Harper’s Bazaar—one of their better issues, in our opinion, despite the fact that Jennifer Lopez is on the cover…  )

Color, Color, Color

   
Even though we noticed a preponderance of non-color in the designer Spring ‘08 collections that were shown last fall (lots of gray, navy, black, khaki, along with lots of yellow and a few paler-than-pale pastels), the retail collections in the stores look more like an explosion in a Skittles factory.  No matter where we look—whether it’s  Shopbop , Neiman’s,  J.Crew ,  Banana ,  or even Pottery Barn’s home accessories—we’re seeing clear, saturated hues, especially orange and coral-toned reds.  (In fact, a heather persimmon J.Crew sweater jacket we were wearing the other day prompted a store clerk to comment on on how much orange she’d been seeing on people lately.  “I guess I need to go buy something orange!” she said.  Yes, we told her.  You do.)   Also hot is royal blue, kelly green, hot pink, lime green, and every shade of yellow.  (Gator fans and Lilly Pulitzer loyalists, this is your year!) 
And it should go without saying that mixing and mis-matching only improves the chic factor—wear pink with your orange, lime with kelly, royal and yellow, or whatever strikes your fancy.  Remember, these days it’s a far bigger sin to overmatch—whether it’s clothing pieces or accessories—than to clash.



Still Yes On The Dress

The shift may be starting to fade, (at least the more shapeless ones), but the dress is still the It Piece for 2008, at least until we see what’s in store for next fall.  We’re seeing more belted waists and fitted torsos, plus some longer lengths (thank God), but structured little a-line dresses are still the foolproof look for day to night this spring. 


Instep Emphasis

We warned you almost a year ago that this was coming, and sure enough, the “high-neck shoe” is all the rage this year.  We saw them being shown in the Fall 2007 collections last February and we wondered if these more difficult-to-wear styles (in that they have a tendency to shorten the legs and thicken the ankles) would ever be truly embraced by the shoe-buying public.  
Well, we should have known better than to underestimate the shoe-buying-public’s thirst for something new, because now, even to our critical eyes, they look just fine, if not downright swanky.
And while booties might not have been so ubiquitous here in Tampa, no afashionado north of the Mason-Dixon is without at least one pair this winter, while we southern girls have gone crazy for the gladiators and cross-strap sandals.

 
Of course, by this time by next year, any or all of three of these trends could be having a near-death experience, especially if we see some radically new looks from designers next week, but from what we see so far, we’re not betting on it. 

   


* (For those of you who are unfamiliar with Curly’s “One Thing” Law, it’s from this bit of dialog from the 1991 movie comedy City Slickers, in which the late Jack Palance plays grizzled cowboy Curly Washburn and Billy Crystal plays Mitch, a midlife-crisis riddled urbanite:

Curly: Do you know what the secret of life is?

Curly: This.  [holds up one finger]

Mitch: Your finger?

Curly: One thing. Just one thing. You stick to that and the rest don’t mean #####.

Mitch: But what is the “one thing?”

Curly: [smiles] That’s what you have to find out.)

 

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    Scouring the post-holiday sales had us more disgusted than ever with the whole Designer Bag category.   Enough already with the pleats and the tassels and the buckles and the chains!  If we never see another stud or grommet again, we’ll die happy. 
    Is it just us, or did most of the high-end handbags this season look like a lot of overdone, over-sized, overpriced ugliness?  Honestly, we saw very few bags, marked down or full-price, we wouldn’t feel like a fashion-victimized, celebrity-aping idiot carrying around.  (In fact, it got to the point where a few of us started referring to some of the more obnoxious monstrosities as Giant “D-Bags”, because we figured that was their target market, if you know what we mean.)

It’s not that we object to the size of this season’s pieces per se; in fact, we’ve always preferred roomier bags.   We doubt anyone schleps more stuff around than we do—even a trip to the doctor’s office requires at least 2 magazines, a laptop, and a thermal mug full of our daily Venti Cappuccino injection.  [Other days we might be hauling anything from paint and fabric swatches to an expandable file filled with (one of) the dog’s vet records, not to mention essentials like sunglasses, a cellphone, wallet, day planner, tape measure, calculator, Ipod, Advil, Purell, tissues, a Tide-to-go Stick, a makeup bag, and at least one working pen.] 

 

   
 But in our opinion, too many designers took oversized to the extreme, not just with the trash-bag proportions, but also with the bling-bling  detail that made an already overwhelming accessory just too much for the average-sized woman to pull off.      The result is that even celebrities tend to get upstaged by their bags, (which can actually be an advantage when they’d otherwise look like homeless people) because nothing screams LOOKATME! LOOKATME! LOOKATME like a big honking tote. 

 

   
   
   
   
   
   
Apparently Hilary Duff thinks her giant Dolce & Gabbana sachel makes up for going out in public in dirty hair and sweatpants…



We can only hope that the the shift toward slimmer, sleeker shapes and cleaner surfaces that we predicted was coming soon will show up in at least some of the spring bag collections that are in the hopper right now.  So far, the new arrivals that have started to trickle in aren’t overly promising—Marc Jacobs and Chloe are churning out the same old poochy, pouchy, quilted, gold-hardware-festooned biker bags that have long been their bread and butter (or, more accurately, their caviar and fois gras, so, okay, we guess we can’t really blame them for sticking with it), but there are some glimmers of promise here and there.   For instance, Yves Saint Laurent and (believe it or not) Kooba are showing some more pared-down looks than in seasons past. 

Look, Ma, no tassels!  YSL’s Capri Medium Bucket For Spring

Could the tide be finally starting to turn?  Or are we doomed to another year of handbag hell?  The suspense is almost too much to bear!

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So now that we’re talking about updating those old winter clothes that have accumulated in your cold-weather stash, here’s a question:
Have you finally gotten rid of all those old big-shouldered jackets and coats? After all, fitted, natural shoulders and high armholes have been the norm for so long that only the uber-clueless would be caught dead in anything with a structured shoulder these days, right?

Well, okay, only the uber-clueless AND the fashion superstars who have the authority to declare It’s Been Out So Long It’s In Again.

Yes, Darlings, it’s true:  There were some big-shoulder sightings in—where else?—Paris last fall, most notably on the superlatively chic Paris Vogue editor Carine Roitfeld (at a Rock & Republic function) and at Yves Saint Laurent’s Spring 2008 runway show.

( The epitome of French insouciance, the rocker-hip Paris Voge editor Carine Roitfeld is a modern-day fashion icon.)

   

We didn’t think much of it at the time—because, honestly? It was more or less a French thing, and when it comes to fashion, the majority of the weird stuff that happens in Paris (thankfully) stays in Paris.  Since we didn’t see a lot of shoulder emphasis from American designers in the Spring 2008 collections (which were shown last September in New York, remember?), as far as we were concerned, it was still just a blip (or, as the French say, “le bleep”) on the radar. 

But now that we’re digging into our winter jacket/coat archives and finding a few beefy old-school shoulder-padded pieces, we can’t help but wonder if we should hang on to one or two, you know, just in case…

 

    Because who knows when an old Dynasty might come back into power again?

Sigh. So much for weeding out.

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    The current cold snap, (aside from providing a rare opportunity for us to wear our favorite cashmere camel-hair coat and acid-green leather gloves on our daily walk along Bayshore) is also a perfect excuse to clean out those un-air-conditioned nether-regions of the house that tend to collect all of those seldom-worn clothes. 
Whether it’s in the attic, guest room closet, or storage unit, most of us Tampans have a stash of heavy, cold-weather clothes tucked away for our trips to colder climates and the occasional local chilly spell like the one we’re having now.  And because these pieces don’t get the kind of year-round play that our lighter-weight stuff sees, let’s all just admit it:  We don’t always edit and update our “winter clothes”  as often as we should.  (All y’all who are still harboring some version of a circa-1997 J. Crew down ski vest know exactly what we’re talking about). 
So we think it’s nothing less than a celestial harmonic convergence of the Shopping and Closet Gods (and, oh yes, Virginia, there truly is such a thing—we’ve seen too many miracles to believe otherwise) that this crispy weather has arrived at the exact same time as the post-holiday clearance sales.  While the balmy January temperatures of years past have had us jumping right into the resort collections,  this year’s chill has given us a renewed appreciation for those tweeds and cashmeres.
In other words, if there ever was a time to upgrade that tired old collection of coats, boots and scarves, this might be it.

Consider these:

A princess-cut coat from Nordstrom in yummy black or camel cashmere/lambswool that’s classic enough to carry you through another few years:

Jimmy Choo suede boots:

Yeah, they’re outrageously expensive, especially when you factor in the whole weak dollar-to-[every other currency including the pound-ratio, but this particular style, with it’s classic cut and luxurious buckles, will—trust us on this—only get better with age. You’ll keep them forever.



Or why not trade in your old stacked-tires down jacket for this chic shawl-collared version that’s elegant enough to throw over a ballgown if need be:

 

   

But don’t limit yourself to online sales—sure, you can stay nice and toasty staying home and letting your mouse do the walking, but there are some great deals in the stores right now, too.  (We’re still tempted to grab the Juicy Couture faux fur 3/4 sleeve jacket we tried on at Saks that makes us feel like Grace Kelly every time we put it on…) 

 

[BTW: If you’re a size six, first of all, we hate you because you (and the size tens) score all the best sale shoes, but it would be just mean not to show you this gladiator sandal that’s on sale on J.Crew’s website.  This style was super-hot last summer (with simple little shift dresses and shorts) and will still be strong this year.  These are a fabulous investment at a fabulous price—so get ‘em while they last…]

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Happy New Year, All!

   
It’s been a hectic and exciting holiday season for us, and if you’ve noticed we’ve been gone for a while, it’s not because we didn’t miss you or that we didn’t feel like doing the whole “Best and Worst Fashions of 2007” thing. 
   
Actually our absence has been for personal reasons, and we suppose we should just go ahead and tell you about it before you hear it from someone else.

The truth is—if you MUST know—we’ve been going through a rather messy breakup that has been demanding a disproportionate amount of our time lately.  And even though the change was long overdue, taking that final step was anything but easy.
After all, we’d been together for almost twenty years, and  one doesn’t just throw that all away without a lot of agonizing soul-searching.   But the fact of the matter is, our once-powerful and charismatic Beloved had become arrogant, bloated, cranky, and—worst of all—just not cool anymore.  Who wants to be stuck in the 90’s when it’s 2008?  We can forgive a lot of things, but being behind the curve isn’t one of them.  Sadly, it was clear to both of us that it was time to move on.

So we’ve done it.  We’ve gone Mac. 
And not just a little bit: We’re talking desktop, laptop, and—pending the next generation-the Iphone.  And while this might not seem like big news to some people, for us it’s nothing short of life-altering. 
Sure, we’ve always lusted in our hearts for the sleek design of Apple computers.  We’ve never been able to figure out why PC manufacturers continue to produce such butt-ugly machines when Apple so clearly dominates in the visual appeal department. (Seriously—how is it that not one of the dozens of PC makers—or MP3 and PDA makers, for that matter—even comes close to offering something as elegant as the Ipod or the Imac?   Does every brilliant product designer work for Steven Jobs?) 
But, until a few months ago, we never saw ourselves as the Mac type.  As far as we were concerned, Mac people were artsy, liberal, and probably from the west coast, while we were businessy and conservative.  And then there were those irritating  PC v. Mac commercials, in which we found “PC”, with his nicely tailored jackets and genteel demeanor, to be far more appealing than some smug, scraggly little dweeb in a hoodie.

It wasn’t until we borrowed a Macbook from one of our Top Secret Correspondents that we realized how much better life could be. 

    A system that started up immediately!  No freezing! No error messages! No grinding CPU!
We were hooked. 

    And then… we saw the IMac desktop and fell even harder—No ugly tower!  No cube!   And, with the wireless keyboard and mouse, practically no cords!

 

And now here we are, Windows-free and lovin’ it, ready to roll into 2008 with a vengeance.   Our only fear now is that we’ll start turning into one of those annoying Macolytes without even realizing it.  So if you ever see us wearing too much black or hanging out at the Genius Bar, or listening to Bono, or—God forbid—standing in line to buy the latest I-Thing,  please make us stop. 
Because we may not have our PC’s anymore, but we still have our dignity, right?

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    The problem with most Gift Ideas Lists is that they’re published way too early. 

    Oh, sure, if you’re one of those people who get a big thrill from having every single bit of holiday shopping done by December 1st, then you certainly don’t need our last-minute help. 
You can sit back, smug in the knowledge that you’ve gotten the whole nasty business Over With for another year and never have to subject yourself to the bustling holiday crowds, the twinkly store lights, the incessant Christmas music, the rosy-cheeked children waiting to sit on Santa’s lap at the mall, and all the other annoyances that come with waiting until the actual season to shop for all the special people in your life. 

    You can also be sure that the rest of us hate you (as we circle the parking lot for a space) and will be talking about you behind your back as we enjoy the special bond that’s formed each year amongst our fellow procrastinators in the mall.  In fact, we find that the laid-back late-shoppers tend to be much more pleasant to deal with than the anal-retentive early birds.  That’s because being so close to the wire means that we’re all filled with the holiday spirit.  Or, better yet,  holiday spirits.  (We don’t know about you, but we’re always much more Santa-like after a couple of eggnogs).

  So for those of you who, like us, enjoy the adrenaline rush of a little last-minute holiday madness, we offer plenty of ideas for gifts that are still available online AND in our shops. 

 
    Click here to see our Kaboodle list of OUR Favorite Things.  We’ve listed great stuff in every price and for every recipient, along with our comments. 
Trust us, they beat the heck out of Oprah’s weirder-by-the-year list ! 
(Seriously, does anyone out there still think that whole thing isn’t one big payola fest for her producers or are we really supposed to believe that a $7 cupcake from Williams Sonoma or a $200 electric face brush are things anyone would actually buy without the big O’s endorsement?)

See ya’ll at the mall!

 

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    Are you hauling out the same tired old holiday clothes and decorations year after year?  The truth is, you might be totally behind the style curve and not even know it because, let’s face it, this time of year you’re always too busy thinking about stuff like Giving and Love and Peace On Earth, when you really should be thinking about one-upping your relatives and impressing your neighbors. 
   
    While it’s not our intention to mess with anyone’s sacred Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Winter Solstice tchotchkes and baubles—after all, if you love them and they make you feel all warm and fuzzy, who cares what anyone else thinks?—we also think that it doesn’t hurt to, you know, update once in awhile.  Not only does it keep things fresh and interesting, but it also forces us all to buy more stuff, which will make the Retailers (who are always whining about “disappointing sales figures” this time of year) happy, not to mention the new Alan Greenspan guy, whatever his name is.

   
   
   
   
      To find out how Holiday Hip you are, take our highly scientific quiz:   
   
   
   
   
      1) You’ve been invited to a Holiday cocktail party whose invitation reads “Festive [or Holiday] Attire”.  You will wear:

        a. Your beloved appliquéd Christmas sweater (replete with snowmen and/or Santas and/or Christmas trees and/or Scotty dogs in plaid coats; embellished with bells, and/or ribbons, and/or pompoms, and/or gold braid), a shin-length black skirt, and ball-ornament earrings:

     
   
   
   
   
        b. A jewel-toned shift dress, tights, and short boots or designer flats:
 
   

   
 

     
   
   
   
      c. A sparkly top and black pants  

        d. An old but superbly-tailored little black dress, accessorized with a vintage Christmas jewelry

        e. Your mother’s old appliquéd Christmas sweater (c. 1987), cashmere leggings, and black patent high-heeled Mary Janes

 

   
   
      2) Your Holiday Décor can be best described as:

        a. Victorian England Meets Little House on The Prairie, On Crack (Also known as:  “I love my glue gun!”)

        b. Preppy Modernist, or Kate Spade meets Lilly Pulitzer:  Bright, tropical colors mixed with classic red and green,  clean lines and shapes

      c. Rustic and handmade: deep greens and washed-out reds, pinecones and berries, lots of plain brown paper and raffia bows

      d. Martha Stewart minimal:  little white lights, plain wreaths and greenery, lots of glossy solid-colored wrapping paper with satin ribbon.

      e. Tim Burton meets Amy Sedaris:  retro figurines, vintage big-bulbed colored lights,  a pink aluminum artificial tree, and vintage wrapping paper in a riot of colors and designs; the tackier the better.

 

Amy Sedaris at home in December’s House Beautiful

 

 

   
   
 
   
   
      3) Your favorite holiday collectible right now is:

        a. Anything from Department 56  

 

   
   
   
   
        b. Reindeer figures

     
   
      c. Santas from around the world and/or Christopher Radko ornaments  

     
     
      d.    Vintage glass ornaments    

   
   
   
      e. Holiday editions of McDonald’s Happy Meal toys

 

     
 
   
   
    4) Your Christmas Cards this year will be:

      a. One of those adorable Anne Geddes or Mary Englebriet designs, or maybe something involving a cute/funny snowman

      b. A personalized photo-and-graphics-combo you’ve ordered from Erin Condren or designed on Shutterfly 

      c. A studio-shot family portrait with everyone wearing the same boring pre-mandated matching outfits (khakis &  red polos, jeans &  white sweaters, etc.—so that you’ll all coordinate with the photo-card border), wherein everyone is smiling into the camera with that special brand of forced joy that only hissed threats of No Presents For Anybody Ever and/or bodily harm can deliver.  [Around our house, we call it the So Help Me God, You’re Going To Smile For This Picture Even If I Have To Kill You First, Sit Your Cold Dead Body Up And Prop Your Purple Lips Open With Cocktail Toothpicks Because Lord Knows We’ve Spent Enough Money On Those Chiclet Teeth Of Yours And I’ll Be Damned If We’re Not Going To Show Everyone What A Merry Effing Christmas We’re Having   family portrait, but maybe ya’ll have a different name for yours…] 

    d. The same as always:  A classic wintry scene (sometimes with glitter, depending on the general mood that year), hand-signed with the family newsletter tucked inside.

    e. One of those standard Wal-Mart photo cards but with a twist.  (Last year your cards said “Happy Saint Lucy’s Day ” and had a picture of everyone dressed up in the traditional “light bearer” outfit, not because you’re Swedish or anything but because you think any holiday that encourages people to walk around with fire on their heads is awesome; the year before you staged a holiday crime scene complete with spilled milk, strewn-about cookies, a Santa corpse outlined in chalk on the floor, and you holding a bloody scotch tape dispenser in your hand with your best “My God, what have I done?” face.  Not everyone appreciates your particular brand of Holiday Cheer, but what the hell… )

 
   
    5)  Your favorite Christmas performance is:

      a. The John Denver Muppet Christmas Special  

      b. A tie between Love Actually
   
    and Bill Murray’s Scrooged:

     

      c. A tie between A Christmas Story and It’s A Wonderful Life

      d. The Nutcracker, performed by the Miami City Ballet at Ruth Eckerd Hall
      e. Bad Santa 

 

   
   
    Scorecard:

    Mostly A’s:  Grandma Territory  (Cute, Country & Crafty)
Grandma’s holiday stuff is the best because it’s so quirky and Old School—it’s what childhood memories are made of—but if you’re not a Grandma, you might want to think about making some changes.  And for God’s sakes, step away from the glue gun!

  Mostly B’s :  Trend Goddess
You are the epitome of Right Now.  Congratulations.

  Mostly C’s:  Tired Cliches
We suspect that you were once a stylish, cutting-edge B, but, because you’re either no longer as shallow and approval-seeking as you used to be (we’ve always warned you that this is what happens when you acquire things like spouses and children) or are just plain lazy, you’re still relying on things that were all the rage 6-10 years ago but are now considered kind of, well, boring.  Which is fine as long as you realize it—we’re not judging.  Go ahead and hang on to those black Ann Taylor pants for another year if that’s what makes you feel safe—Lord knows you’ll have plenty of company.  All we’re saying is that there comes a time in every girl’s life when she either has to get with it or just admit that she’s turned into her mother. 

    Mostly D’s:  Classic
Your Holiday Style might be a little pared-down for some tastes, but you usually try to transcend the fads by buying the best and sticking with it.  While you’re always aware of what’s In and what’s Out, you only adopt the trends that fit your own personal aesthetic and leave the rest for the Young People to deal with.  Of course, that’s easier said than done for most of us, but this is the kind of Fabulousness to which we all should aspire someday. 

    Mostly E’s:  Cutting-Edge Hipster
You’ve probably always been eccentric, but the holidays are the perfect platform for your particular brand of tacky-chic.  You’ve never met a decoration, ornament or sweater that’s too ugly, and you feel sorry for anyone who can’t fully embrace the sheer looniness of life the way you can.  Don’t ever change, because the holidays would be a total bore without you.

    So now that you know where you fall on the holiday style spectrum, it’s up to you to decide if it’s time for an update.
Trust us, we know it’s not always easy—we felt terrible the first year that we left our Department 56 Dickens Village in the attic,  but the fact that no one even missed it only goes to show that just because you’ve done the same thing every year doesn’t make it mandatory.  Besides, we know that someday we’ll bring those little houses back out again—most likely when we enter Grandma territory ourselves.  Unless, of course, they make a strong comeback before that.
After all, if it can happen with pink artificial Christmas trees, it can happen with anything, right?

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    Although we spend most of the year avoiding the kitchen and everything that goes on in there, we have to admit the holidays tend to make us feel all domestic and chef-ish for some reason.  Maybe it’s the Williams-Sonoma catalog, with all of those horribly wonderful specialty gadgets (like, how are we going to whip up the Cheddar-Cauliflower Soup featured in the holiday catalog without the Le Creuset cookware and the $99 immersion blender?)
or the Dean and DeLuca catalog (we swear, this year we’re really going to try and learn more about artisanal cheeses!)

    But whatever it is, we get an irresistible urge to don a vintage apron and start planning lavish parties. 

    Which is why we were more receptive than we normally would be to a cookbook we recently received from a friend in New York called
Park Avenue Potluck:  Recipes from New York’s Savviest Hostesses.

    It was created by the Society of Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center to help raise funds and awareness, so we feel pretty safe in assuming that it was the fact that our friend sits on the sustaining board of that venerable organization (rather than an unfounded confidence in our cooking skills) that prompted her thoughtful gesture. 

    Or maybe she just knew that we wouldn’t be able to resist a book in which “ ...some of New York’s most celebrated hostesses…have culled together the best recipes from their personal files that are as easy as they are elegant.”  Easy?  Elegant?  Nothing could be more up our entertaining alley. 
    Whether any of the well-to-do contributors actually prepare these dishes themselves (and it sounds like some of them do, just for fun) is not even the point.  The real message of the book is what every great hostess already knows, which is that the key to entertaining with style has nothing to do with money and everything to do with a presentation that focuses on enjoying—as opposed to impressing—your guests

    Because, while the volume is beautifully rendered (it’s published by Rizzoli) with plenty of sumptuous photographs and little hints and suggestions for scaling things up a bit (for instance:  “taking that extra step to decant juice into a pitcher or mustard into a little dish makes for a more gracious setting, regardless of the occasion”  ), most of the actual recipes are ridiculously simple, if not downright humble. 

    Of course, we’ve been doing the reverse-chic thing for years, (we especially like to make a point to substitute the word “noodles” for “pasta” whenever we can—it drives the foodies crazy)  but it’s always reassuring to know that the Cool Kids are doing it too.

    Take, for example, the lowly tomato sandwich.  While we would never entirely give up the Kitchen Sink version in Ernest Matthew Mickler’s cookbook classic, White Trash Cooking,  ( Assemble white bread, tomatoes, and mayo, then “roll up your sleeves, and commence to eat over the kitchen sink while the juice runs down your elbows”  ) it’s amazing how, with a little pedigree, those very same ingredients become “ the ultimate antidote to elaborate, show-stopping hors d’ oeuvres” for the Park Avenue crowd.  The author suggests preparing the “ Old-School Tomato Sandwiches” with peeled fresh tomatoes on crustless white bread, cut into tiny triangles and arranged on a platter with sprigs of basil. 
The final instruction is, of course, to “pass, with cocktails.” 

    We cannot wait to try this.  Unfortunately, we don’t have any white bread or tomatoes in the house at the moment, so we’ll just have to do the cocktails part for now.  But how about if we promise to throw a basil sprig into our martini glass just to get things going in the right direction? 

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    Anyone with a fashion pulse knows that this is the time of year when all the retailers and magazines start hyping all those shiny, sparkly dresses and tops.  But, seriously, what percentage of the holidays do we really spend all glittered up? 
   
    In our opinion, the real find this year, especially if you’re going to be doing any traveling, is a chic little jersey dress.
    We first fell in love with the idea when we saw this Behnaz Sarafpour

   
   
   

    And this Nieves Lavi

    featured in InStyle magazine in September. 

    We thought the Nieves Lavi was a little pricey for what it was—a very simple shift that would be ridiculously easy to sew—the tough part would be finding that fabulous fabric—but, the more we realized how versatile a dress like that would be, the more genius a concept it seemed to be.
Think about it:  A dress like this would look as good in an office with tights and boots as it would at a cocktail party with chunky heels, or even, for that matter, at a poolside party with strappy flats.  (Or as InStyle suggests, “gold sandals and a straw bag for a day jaunt, or heels and a clutch for dinner”  ) The print and cut is cutting edge enough for the chicest of gatherings, yet demure enough for the Grownups table at Thanksgiving.  Add a jacket, sweater, or pashmina, and you have even more options.

    So if you’re not sure what you’re going to wear for this holiday season’s get-togethers, consider investing in a travel-friendly little jersey dress, preferably in a stain-hiding print.  It can be your go-to solution for almost any occasion, which means it’s the perfect thing to pack when you’re not sure what to pack, and the perfect thing to wear when the invitation says “casual” or even “business casual”. 

Some more of our favorites:

This Banana Republic chain link jersey print is like an updated version of the classic DVF wrap dress and every bit as versatile.

    Prints, especially bold graphics, can be tricky to wear, but we fell hard for this $325 Iodice when we held it up to ourselves in the mirror at Neiman’s

Maybe it’s the subdued colors and the generous amount of black?  Either way, this is a very flattering dress, and it’s a testament to our willpower and anemic bank account that we didn’t cave and buy it on the spot.

    We also loved this DVF contrast trim dress ($385 at Neiman’s), even though it’s mostly black:

    Because, frankly, we’re sick to death of the boring LBD (Little Black Dress, for you neophytes out there), and we’re tired of everyone telling us we MUST ALL own one.  But add some snappy white trim, and we’re so on board.  And the nice thing about this dress is that you can—and should, in contrast to the Neiman’s unimaginative styling—pile on the bright-colored accessories to your heart’s content.

And, finally,  if you’re willing to compromise on quality for a quick fix, you can get a similar look with this wonderful Isaac Mizrahi for Target’s matte jersey dress:

    Believe us when we tell you:  This is a very cute dress.  We know because we actually bought one and have every intention of wearing it to the ancestral table on Thursday.  Because, not only is it spectacularly Pilgrimish, but it’s also light, comfortable, and just kind of pretty. 
    And since we’ll naturally offer to help in the kitchen (of course we have no clue what to do in there, but our hostess doesn’t have to know that), we’re comforted by the fact that an accidental spill or splatter on our $40 dress is a lot cuter than the same would be on our $400 dress. 
    But the best thing about it is that it flares out when we twirl, which is always a plus in our book, because we happen to love to twirl, especially on holidays.

  Now we just have to decide on our footwear. 
  Do you think pumps with big silver buckles would be overkill?

 

 

 

 

 

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