I had an over-the-hill birthday party to attend Saturday night for my friend Scott.

He’s an amazing husband, father, son, brother, friend, lawyer ...

What do you get for the man who has it all?

Squeem.

Here’s the line I wanted to get for Scott:

But instead I ended up going with this:

“Hasten weight loss due to high compression and sweating process.”

In other words, blast that beer belly immediately! Suck it in, suck it in, waaaaaaay in!

I see why this is nonrefundable.

Ladies, you might be familiar with Spanx body shapers.

Well don’t let Squeem pass you by without giving it a try. I found this at Walgreens!

And now you can buy one for that special man in your life who has a little more in the middle.

Tagline: magical lingerie.

Hot!