After spending two-thirds of my life thinking about my weight, I’m dumping my scale.

I had a pair of red Arizona-brand jeans I thought I looked fat in when I was in third grade. I was upset that I weighed 60 pounds instead of 50 pounds like many of my classmates.

As a seventh grader, I wrote a magical equation in my diary I didn’t learn in math class:  1 pound = 3,500 calories.

I held my head over the toilet in high school and pushed my finger down my throat hoping my parents wouldn’t hear me throwing up.  I tried to the binge-and-purge method a few times and was a little annoyed I couldn’t stick with it.

After a bout with pneumonia my freshman year of college I was pleasantly surprised I lost 15 pounds. It’s easy to lose weight when you can barely breathe, let alone eat.

I’m 24 now and realize women are socialized to think their self-worth is attached to their look. It’s undeniable that there’s pressure to be beautiful and thin. The actresses who are deemed “curvy” in photos or on TV are still incredibly tiny – a size 4 or 6 as opposed to a 2 or 0. But I also decide how much that expectation will dictate how I live my life. And for too many years, it’s pulled a lot of weight.

I suggested to a friend last week we try a month-long plan to lose weight/get in-shape/tone up. She had mentioned something to me about wanting to slim down (and she looks fabulous without the plan, by the way).

When I stood in the mirror with the measuring tape around my waist, I had this fleeting thought in the back of my mind, “Maybe I’ve been doing this all wrong.”

I continued on though, measuring my hips and thighs. I grimaced at the numbers, dutifully recorded them anyway and thought, Ok, maybe it’ll work this time – daydreaming about a gorgeous Diane Von Furstenberg dress and me wearing it in a size 4 or 6 instead of my current 8 to 10.

I started to think how much happier I’ve become since I started yoga a year ago. I’ve stopped stressing about my life and accepted thing as they are, stopped worrying about what I can’t change and focused on what I can do.

I took a good look in the mirror.

I’ve landed dates 10 pounds heavier and 10 pounds lighter. I’ve gone kayaking and salsa dancing at this weight.

Why should this be any different from the rest of my life?

And then I decided to throw the scale away.