(photoshop image created by Kodiak Confidential)

Dear Sarah Palin,

What exciting news that you’ll be running for vice president !
Platform issues aside (the only platforms we care about are the shoes), we’re always more interested in female politicians for the simple reason that they have so many more options when it comes to what they wear than the men do, at least for now.  (As far as we can tell, the requisite the dark suit/blue and/or red tie uniform is going anywhere soon.  Yawn.)

Add to that the fact that the first thing most people seem to know about you is that you’re considered by most to be the country’s “hottest” Governor  (or, a GILF, as Wonkette likes to call you), and suddenly what was an already interesting election has taken on tabloid-like proportions.

But we have to admit that, based on the first few (presumably more recent) photos of you that hit the AP wire yesterday morning, we weren’t quite sure what the fuss was all about.

The woman we saw, with the Hillary-like suits, outdated-looking updo, and rimless glasses looked more like our school principal than some hot babe.

Granted, we realize we’re talking Governor Hot, not Hollywood Hot, and we have to admit that your skin is gorgeous.  (Probably in no small part due to those sunless Alaskan winters and all that fresh salmon you have up there.)

But we had to wonder:  Were people confusing you with someone else?

When one of our Top Secret Frat Boy correspondents sent us this picture

saying it was you (he also said that he was, like, totally voting Republican now), we knew wasn’t, so we linked back to the source, an interesting little blog called askpang.com, (motto:  “I link, therefore I am") only to find that it was actually a stock photo of the Overstock.com spokesbabe in a post that compared her to you.  (The Fratboy network apparently hasn’t yet grasped the limitations of a Google image search).

But when we did our own image search and found some earlier pictures of you, we began to see what all the hoo-ha was about.  There’s real charisma there, not to mention great legs. 

We just hope that some of the more recent frumpiness is due to the pregnancy and delivery of cute little Twig (Trig? Trix?) and NOT the result some misguided notion (or advice) that you have to start dressing more Lady Politician-y now that you’re running for Vice President.

Because, here’s the thing:  If this is truly the groundbreaking election it’s supposed to be, why not do away with all those old Washington Matron cliches and create a new White House style?  We already LOVE the fact that Michelle Obama wore a form-skimming turquoise dress last at the convention instead of the usual “First Lady suit” in the requisite red, royal blue, or cream.  And, thank God, not a pearl in sight!




If we were going to be dressing you for the campaign (we’re available, but so far no one’s asked) , we’d start by defining your best style as one we’ll call the “Sporty Spice” look. 

In other words, leave the prim pastel suits to the people who do them best, like Posh Spicy Cindy McCain;

You look best when you can show your outdoorsy side, like in your picture for the February ‘08 Vogue piece.

You look fabulous--not to mention, like, 20 years younger--in things like this :

and this

and this

and this:

(Omg-how cute are you in boots!)

Obviously, these outfits are too casual for most official Vice Presidential appearances--we’re not telling you to wear a parka to a state dinner.  But the basic style--separates instead of matched suits, a shorter hemline, unstructured, lapel-less jackets, beige/black color combos, and even the occasional boot--can just as easily be applied to dressier items.
In any case, there’s nothing that says you can’t throw in some girly touches here and there.  Remember Madeline Albright’s hairbows in the 80’s?   Or her trademark brooches?

Speaking of which, we also spotted you wearing jewelry that’s a little more interesting than the usual earrings/choker combo or the flag lapel pin, like these beaded danglies:

or these sculptural ones--and, wait--is that a second earring we see?  Why, Sarah Palin, we believe you’re double-pierced!

We like the pin and the jacket in this one:

And we love this bracelet, which we’re guessing is some sort of whalebone or something?:

In fact, we noticed you wearing, if not the exact same one, something quite similar yesterday in your pictures with John:

Plenty of women would love to be able to look as good in handcrafted-looking jewelry as you do (some of us are just too mousy to be able to pull off the artsier stuff), so
please don’t let your handlers discourage you from continuing to show your pride for Alaska’s ethnic heritage, because we think it could be a trademark look for you. 

And speaking of trademark looks, we’ve GOT to address the hair and those glasses.

Don’t misunderstand us; we’re big fans of the sexy librarian look, but we would love to see you soften the streaks and tone down the updo just a tad, maybe side-sweeping those bangs a little for a more modern look. (See the Overstock.com girl, above).  The current coif just comes off a little too sixties beauty-pageant-y for our taste.  (In answer to Cloe’s question, we think the Marge Simpson ‘do comes closest.)
We realize that over-40 women are often advised to “soften” their looks with blonde or gold highlights, but on someone as vibrant-looking as you, it’s actually more aging than one all-over color, unless they’re really subtle, like the ones in this picture:



And, finally, (sigh)  those glasses.  Why did you switch from these, (which we think are awesome):

or even these

to…

these?

Seriously, Sarah, rimless? 
Honestly, we never really saw the point of those.  It’s like you hope no one will notice you’re wearing glasses, in which case, why don’t you just not wear glasses?  Okay, maybe there’s some reason that Lasik surgery or contacts aren’t an option for you, but that doesn’t mean you have to apologize for having to wear them by trying to make them as unobtrusive as possible. 


We say, if you’re going to wear glasses, commit to the look with some serious power frames.  You’ll look younger and more badass at the same time. 

Think of what an edgy pair of specs does for, say, Meryl Streep in Lions For Lambs

or Tina Fey in, well, everything.



Speaking of which, a few months ago, the Corsair posted your look as a cross between Britney Spears and Tina Fey, which we think was pretty spot-on, since all we’re really saying is, we’re hoping we’ll see a little less Britney and a little more Tina going forward. 


Is that too much to ask of a public servant?