Let’s Get it Pre-started!

Posted Mar 31, 2006 by jriley

Updated Mar 31, 2006 at 03:24 PM

I would first like to say any writing, statements, opinions of Tenisha is not a reflection of TBO, The Tribune, or the women’s team! Now that is out of the way my name is Tenisha. I am very thankful for this challenge and my teammates Kaye and Gina we call ourselves Marty’s Angels (Marty is the HCIC of the challenge so we decided to give him KUDOS for putting this together). Many people (my family particularly) are wondering why I am participating “in such a public thing” and to answer that question I don’t know. Maybe I am thinking it will embarrass me and I will lose the weight, maybe it will give me the support I need, maybe it won’t, maybe it will allow me to express my feelings to others who have no IDEA of what I am going through, maybe it will team me up with people who have an idea of what it’s like. I don’t know what my thinking was when I accepted but I do know that I want to get this weight off, having 5 other people who can relate to being over weight or struggle with weight loss has been comforting, and that this is my last hope before I eat myself to death. I have tried almost every diet, and I am sick of being this way. My weight has been within the 200 pound class for the past 4 years! It does not make me happy to say that but I am not here to fool myself or anyone else weight is just a number to me and I do not hide behind it; if you ask I will tell. I think the one thing that I have not come to terms with is the fact that in my mind I did/do not think I was “big” for instance the picture that is posted on line of me and my teammates, well I did not think that was me because in my mind I look like I’m a size 10 and not a 20. When I saw that picture I was like whaaatt! Am I that big oh my gosh! WOW! Pictures don’t lie people do! So today I will eat my last chicken wing, chocolate chip cookies, movie theater butter popcorn and tomorrow I will be ready for the first day of the challenge and my new “lifestyle change” I will be starting the South Beach diet my teammates are controlling their current food portions, I can not.  JUNK FOOD and certain foods like wings, pizza, or yum a good hot dog it’s my down fall I need to re-train my mind and body about food and from what I have read and everyone else is telling me SB- (South Beach) is the way to go. Before anyone starts writing I am not swearing off those foods I will be a fool to say that. I am simply saying I have no control when it comes to those foods it’s like the food speaks to me in a bug voice “eat me, I am good”. I hate that I talk about food like this but that is my reality which I want to change I hate that I live to eat and not eat to live. Being over weight to me is a diseases, FYI I am putting the Dr. before my name in the next couple of sentences. This is a disease and for those who think it’s not Question: What is the difference between an anorexic and an over weight person Answer: NOTHING! Food is the common enemy in both cases. An anorexic won’t and can’t eat because they don’t want to gain weight. An overweight person eats because of weight. We both are killing ourselves in some way by not eating or too much eating. Both instances people want help and a way out but it’s hard to do! O.k. my PHD moment is over.

So if you are wondering what am I trying to accomplish: I am going to work hard to get out of the 200 class in the next couple of months, I want to start exercising at least 3-5 times a week,
I want to learn how empower myself when it comes to food. Well folks until next time. Tomorrow is the first day of the challenge and the Angels and I are going walking to kick it off! Blog to you all soon

Tenisha

P.S. HCIC = Head Caucasian in Charge