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Jeff Houck

The Tampa Tribune’s food writer since 2005, Jeff Houck covers the way people live through their food. He also hosts the Table Conversations food podcast and believes that everything crunchy is good.

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Let My Vegans Go

Posted Apr 12, 2006 by Jeff Houck

Updated Apr 12, 2006 at 10:52 AM

PupShalom.jpg

Not content to honor the observance with one story in the paper today about tonight’s seder, I contributed a story about vegetarian Jews and the carnivorous bondage from which they seek to free themselves.

Mad Hebrew vegetarian props go out to Kate at Out In Left Field for the help she provided for the story. Heck, she was the inspiration for it, for crying out loud.

A side note: If you ever get a chance to speak with Kate in a consensual phone conversation, take her up on it. She’s one funny shiksa.

Kate is already anticipating the calls I’m going to get. My favorite suggestion:

“A hundred Jews in the Bay area. This is the best you could do?”


So far, I’m good, but the day is early. I did get one voice mail wishing me an aziz pesach [a sweet Passover].

Then again, think about what would have happened if I would have followed up this P.R. pitch with a story:

Sent: Tue 4/11/2006 5:02 PM

Subject: New Holiday: Gassover

Dear Jeff,

Those big family Seders and stacks of matzo we enjoy at Passover have an unspoken dark side—one that’s among society’s last taboos: the flatulence that results from gastrointestinal distress.

Instead of reflecting on the Jewish people’s exodus from Egypt, we end up struggling to contain the exodus of gas.

Flatulence, irritable bowels, heartburn, indigestion, and growling guts are common Passover conditions that can be treated without polluting our bodies with antacids and other over-the-counter drugs that, for many people, don’t even work.

Interview Bill Downs, one of the world’s foremost experts on diet and digestion, and find out how Jewish families can avoid Passover eating hazards—especially certain holiday foods and treats that have seriously adverse effects on dieters and diabetics.

In a word: Oy.

I’ll pass(over).

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