Jeff Houck

The Tampa Tribune’s food writer since 2005, Jeff Houck covers the way people live through their food. He also hosts the Table Conversations food podcast and believes that everything crunchy is good.

 @JeffHouck
 The Stew
 Table Conversations
 StewVision
 Foodspotting
 Email Jeff Houck

Most Recent Entries

• USF Poly senate expresses alarm at independence bill in the Legislature
• USF showcases creationism critic tonight
• Times reporter goes to work at USF St. Pete
• Slutty Brownies, Homemade Snickers And Bacon-Wrapped Beef Hot Dogs [This Week’s Weekend Eats]
• USF Poly board member quits, saying USF is scuttling the “Poly model”
• Decision 2012: Florida’s Pizza Primary [Every Slice Of Newsroom Pie Tells A Story]
• USF gets big grant for veterans research
• Merlot Jelly, Korean Fried Chicken and Grand Marnier Souffle [This Week’s Weekend Eats]
• Researchers say cell phone waves can reverse Alzheimer’s
• Klasko and Obama grip and grin
• Genocide, memory and art the focus of USF conference
• Poly announces budget cuts; fires top administrators
• Debate turns into test of free speech. Some students failed.
• Homemade Potsticker, Pulled Pork With Fried Egg, And Unstuffed Pork Chops [This Week’s Weekend Eats]
• What’s up with the USF debate?

More

• The Stew
• The Dirt
• Hot Pursuits
• HOMEwork
• Inside USF
• L Archive
  • Green Lite
  • Bring It!

Monthly Archives

• February 2012
• January 2012
• December 2011
• November 2011
• October 2011
• September 2011

Haiku You [Yes, There Is Such A Thing As A Deliciously Entertaining Fruitcake]

Posted Dec 19, 2009 by Jeff Houck

Updated Dec 20, 2009 at 12:02 AM

The fourth installment of our annual Fruitcake Haiku Contest is now complete. Roger Allen of Tampa has taken this year’s top prize.

Roger’s winning ditty:

Fruitcake fairy dance
Tchaikovsky spins in casket
Nutcracker breaks jaw

Our judge this year was legendary baking expert Rose Levy Beranbaum, whose latest book “Rose’s Heavenly Cakes” is a must-buy for baking fanatics. Her Fruitcake Wreath is the first fruitcake I’ve seen actually looks delicious. You can find the recipe here.

As is always the case each year, it isn’t possible to run all of the hundreds of haiku poems we get, so here’s a sample of some of the best we got:

Don’t waste good bourbon
Pouring it on the fruitcake.
I’d rather drink mine.
Nancy M. Hester
Tucker, Ga.

New menu item.
Fruitcake for school lunch. Watch out!
Could cause a food fight!
Sandi Behrens
Hollywood

Fruitcake recycled:
Free-weight, book end, doorstop, brick,
Anchor, foot stool, log
Elizabeth Cover
Hudson

Fruitcake for Christmas …
My question for Santa is:
Will a fruitcake flush?
Linda Sherry
Clearwater

Yuletide cheer is here
A fruitcake for a sweet tooth;
It’s recession proof
Virginia N. Rhoades
St. Petersburg

A fruitcake can be
Unwelcome and full of nuts,
Like reindeer droppings.
Suzanne Stone
Lake Placid

Let’s give peace a chance.
Fruitcake to our enemies.
Make pastry not war.
Tammy DiCaprio
Chesapeake, Va.

“Pee-Wee’s Playhouse” is
My favorite Christmas special.
He thinks fruitcake’s gross
Madeline Weiland
Gurnee, Ill.

Three really wise men
Chose not to eat the fruitcake.
Everyone else sick.
Toby Srebnik
North Lauderdale

Fruitcake is winter.
Nutty, sweet, holiday — wait
My doorstop always
Stephanie Steele
Clearwater

To write a haiku
Would take away precious time
While I bake fruitcake.
Elizabeth Gomez
Valrico