Toto, Japanese’s largest manufacturer of toilets recently had to recall thousands of its newest models because of a fire hazard.  Luckily no one has been hurt, but I believe it has given me permission write about how a toilet could catch on fire.

Here in Japan there are electrical outlets built in next to a toilet to accommodate the latest in personal hygiene and comfort.  Beginning with adjustable heated seats, you might have several bidet options and automatic flushing.  Many of the toilets I’ve seen here have had more controls than my microwave.  Since the detailed and lengthy directions are in kanji I have hesitated to try several buttons for fear of the hazard illustrations showing stick figures in compromising positions.

There is danger in bathrooms here.  This instruction was given on a label outside my hotel bathroom in Okayama:  “Because it is easy to glide in a bathroom, please be careful enough!”

One toilet I was on in Kyoto closed automatically and flushed when I got up from it, which was a little spooky.

When I sat down on the toilet in my room Ginza it automatically started an exhaust fan over my head.  The whirl of its motor really made me mad.  How dare it presume that I need an exhaust!

Then in public restrooms there are sometimes small boxes with speakers on the wall.  One pushes a button and the sound of flushing water blasts out to cover any embarrassing noises one might make.

But on a chilly morning a heated seat it is worth the many risks. There have been a few times in the past weeks that I feel as though I am sitting on a throne.  Or other times I feel like I could pull a lever and a skylight would open to allow my toilet to fly me high into the Japanese sky.  Sometimes the theme for Star Trek goes through my head as I ponder my options.