Normally, our eyes skim right over celebrity gossip magazines on the newsstand.  The lives of people who are mostly famous because they played characters that some brilliant writer created don’t interest us too terribly much.  But when we saw the print October issue of “People Style Watch” yesterday, we couldn’t resist a peek, especially since we were promised, right there on the cover, Great Bags! Cute Shoes! Sexy Styles!  Hm.  Maybe we could learn a thing or two from the Hollywood crowd?  After all, celebrities are often the guinea pigs for the newest looks that the designers are trying to release into the mainstream.  Was there something there for us? 
Unfortunately, we found that the celeb-mag queens are so well compensated by designers and luxury-goods makers to wear their stuff that the result is, more often than not, a sold-to-the-highest-bidder mishmash that’s usually a better example of what NOT to wear than anything a mentally stable person should want to emulate.

While most celebrities look wonderful on the Red Carpet (or whatever it is they pose on when they’re all doodied up), they just look kind of ridiculous on the street.  The fact that the stars look so shockingly disheveled when caught off-guard—the over-bleached hair, (with dark roots), the ill-fitting jeans, the overly-revealing tops—are all indicators of the high-maintenance upkeep required to be dazzling on camera. 

So while we love People Style Watch for it’s spunky features like, “Yes!  You Can Wear False Eyelashes!”, and “It’s All About BLACK NAILS!”, we certainly wouldn’t recommend trying most of the looks--false lashes and black nails included--at home.
For instance, Jessica Alba apparently has one of the “Most Wanted Hair Colors”, but if you read what is required to achieve those “honey highlights” (a three-to-four step process, and she’s still showing roots), not to mention the fact that, in daylight, those three-plus shades of streaks are going to look a lot harsher than under studio lights, you can’t possibly think they’re a good idea for anyone but an actress who can take a tax deduction on frequent salon visits.  (Oh, who are we kidding?  The hussy probably gets them for free as long as she credits her colorist).  In our opinion, Miss Alba, as a Real Person, is more gorgeous with her natural haircolor and without the false eyelashes—but, as a constantly photographed “It” girl, she can get away with the over-the-top hair and makeup.  But most of the rest of us can’t, and shouldn’t be trying.
Yes, children, it’s a sad truth that, since most of what celebrities are wearing has been placed on their bodies by publicists and designers, the result isn’t always going to be flattering, let alone worthy of the imitation that flattery is the sincerest form of.  (Can you say “Jessica Simpson”?) Half the time, celebrity looks are just floozy-skanky, or just too theatrical to be imitated in any serious capacity. 
To find true taste and style, one might do better scanning the society pages and observing what the true trendsetters--the movers and shakers, the rich and powerful, and all of the other interesting and accomplished people whose lives aren’t read from a script (and who actually choose and buy their own designer clothes)--are wearing.  Now those are celebrities, Darlings.