Amazing Race And Apprentice, In A Nutshell—- 03.25.07

Posted Mar 26, 2007 by Chris Kuhn

Updated Mar 26, 2007 at 01:20 PM

‘Tis a late night in the Kuhn house and a tough decision to make. Stay home this Sunday night and watch a delayed Amazing Race: All-Stars (CBS) and increasingly mediocre Apprentice: Los Angeles (NBC)? Or catch rock legends Roger Daltry and Pete Townshend finally rock the roof at Ford Amphitheater? Not so tough a choice.

So, though blogging through half-opened eyes, ringing ears and the occasional yawn, here is what happened (I think) on both shows as I watch a wonderfully commercial-free two hours of reality television very, very, VERY late– in a nutshell…

AMAZING RACE: ALL-STARS

Last week, whiny cousins Myrna and Charla managed to move into first place by some mysterious stroke of good fortune (for them, not the viewers at home who have to watch them). And former winners Uchenna and Joyce found themselves in last place with the need to place first this week or at least beat the last arriving time, after waiting out a thirty-minute penalty. Would they do it? And would Myrna-Schmyrna finally fall into their appropriate place—- last?

I wish. Every step they took this week, Myrna and Charla made the right moves and caught the breaks needed to get to every destination before any of the other teams. Their flight reached first, the connecting flight landed earliest, they completed every challenge before others even arrived. This week, teams had to solve wooden fish puzzles with a pattern that was more easily identifiable for some than others. Teams also took part in an archaic version of discus, throwing large metal poles at a target to break the posted plate. Myrna and Charla just ate up this week’s buffet of tasks, much to my dismay. And yep, they ended up in first again. Man, that stinks.

Just as everything went swimmingly for Myrna-Schmyrna, everything that could go wrong pretty much did for poor Ian and Terry. It was one bad call after another. First, they chose to wait at the airport for seven hours overnight to get a good spot in line. Only problem: there was another office in the airport agreeing to start a standby list, on which both they and husbands Joe and Bill were not included. Doh! Then, after the two teams missed the next standby flight not once but TWICE, it soon became clear that the battle for last would be between these two hopelessly behind teams. In the end, Ian and Terry were just steps behind Joe and Bill to the pit stop. And I was surprised that I felt a little sad. Last time around, Ian was a complete jerk, yelling at his wife and getting impatient with everyone and everything in sight. This time, he seemed much more mellow. Perhaps watching footage of you making an ##### out of yourself on national TV is quite a powerful impetus to change your ways. Whatever the reason, the race just narrowed to six teams and for some wacky, wacky reason, Myrna and Charla are leading the pack.

THE APPRENTICE: LOS ANGELES

Team Kinetic used to be the Donald’s favorites. Remember when Heidi could do no wrong? Not anymore. After last week’s loss, Trump calls up Team Arrow and tells James one of his teammates must go over to Kinetic to even up the teams to four players each. James asks for volunteers but big surprise – no takers. So James is faced with a tough decision. But he analyzes what skill sets are available and determines that with he and Tim there as creative masterminds, the team can spare other creative thinker Nicole. She is not pleased with this decision. Not only does it mean leaving her current team that she’s bonded so well with – she also must leave her man. Yep, Nicole and Tim still have it bad for each other and James’ executive decision means a necessary break-up. And it’s not pretty.

Nicole spends much of the show stewing about Tim’s silence about the whole Nicole expulsion – why didn’t he stand up for me more, she wonders aloud. Tim loves the whole canoodling and spooning business but thinks Nicole is over-reacting and expects too much from him. It’s enough to put the fire back into Nicole’s eyes. She is determined to kick Arrow’s butt in this next challenge – and I believe her. I’m wondering why she didn’t ask to be project manager on the task, but Olympic Gold-medalist Angela feels she must prove her worth to the Donald and asks to be the PM. This ends up working in Nicole’s favor.

This week’s task is to sell the most annual passes to visitors at Hollywood’s Universal Studios theme park. Sounds reasonable enough – at least it’s easily quantifiable. But the two teams’ strategies are completely different. Arrow goes for legitimacy and appearing credible to guests. Nicole calls their moves perfectly and tells the Kinetic ladies that they must reach people faster so what better way than on—- rollerskates. Yep, nothing cheesy about it, if they roll into the next potential sale, they’ll score it first. Or so went the theory. The group loves it. They put on the tight, shorty shorts and head out win people over with this American Graffiti approach to sales. They forgot one tiny thing though.

In order to sell, you have to sell. Sell often. And sell hard. This is one characteristic that timid, polite Kinetic just doesn’t have. Finally, Frankie’s hard-selling ways, James’ in your face loudness and Tim and Stephanie’s persistent, sometimes obnoxious assertiveness far outweighs the shy nature of Christine, Holly and Angela. Nicole does her best to maintain her “I’m Loud and I’m Proud” mantra from her former team, but it’s not enough. They lose in sales by a whopping $7,000 or more than 20%. Yikes. This is a big loss.

Donald gives the Arrow folks a ride in a big chopper to get a bird’s eye view of Hollywood (oh boy – back to the crappy rewards). And in the board room, Angela simply can’t defend herself as project manager on this task. Sure, Nicole came up with the game-losing strategy of strapping on some skates, but as everyone points out, guests saw Arrow’s big presence as they walked into the park, they looked credible and legit and that’s what sold passes more than rude, pushy sales tactics, and this was a major strategic error that only a team’s leader can be blamed for – and she is. Angela leaves with her head held high and tears streaming down her face. No medal here, honey.

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Theo Wujick Show in Ybor and More

Posted Mar 26, 2007 by Sir Robert Davis

Updated Mar 26, 2007 at 01:02 PM

Friday night was interesting enough,  spending time with the lovely Shannon Lyn,  Bass Player Bob and Shawn Beauville;  but Saturday was a bit more eventful.

We began the night at the HUGE Theo Wujick show at the Cuban Club.  There were models modeling,  scratch DJs DJing,  bands banding and drinkers drinking (with a rum tasting on the top floor and everything!).  I think there were more media people than paid attendees.  Everyone had a camera and nearly everyone took a photo of yours truly.  When I inspected the models,  one of the people shooting them turned and shot me instead.  One of the models in question shot me a look that said “I’d me mad if you weren’t so cute…” 

BANG!

Theo was on the second floor,  brandishing the best art of the night.  His action-oriented pop-art-in-shards pieces were superb.  I’m pleased when a show has one good piece of art.  When it has a good artist with a selection,  I’m overjoyed.  “Sensory Overload” is a bit misleading.  Accuracy would have been “Theo and a bunch of other stuff”.

At 10pm the awful techno kicked in seemingly everywhere we went,  so we went to another party.

Enter the Michael Murphy Gallery.  It was a birthday/anniversary-styled event with a great DJ,  decent food,  an open bar and a lot of groovy people.  I was asked to explain what a “shaman” is.  I was asked what a “dandy” is.  Interestingly,  nobody asked what an “aesthete” is! 

To my surprise,  this gallery had a higher supply of “good art” than anything I had seen in this area outside the Dali Museum. Then again,  it was dark and I had been drinking all night.  To be sure,  I shall return to it soon.   

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It’s A Berry Good Time

Posted Mar 26, 2007 by Janine Dorsey

Updated Mar 26, 2007 at 01:25 PM

I took my Girl Scout troop to pick strawberries yesterday. These are city girls of South Tampa, they had no idea about the workings of a real farm.

They learned the proper technique for removing the juicy orb without damaging the plant. They learned not to take the ones with worm holes. And they learned how the pickers get paid, a fascinating process of scanning a sticker that the worker wears each time they turn in a full flat. At least that is how this particular farm keeps track of wages.

Since we were guests at this particular location, we didn’t decimate their plants by taking a ton of fruit. But we sure would have liked to! Last night’s shortcake (berries over poundcake with vanilla ice cream) was a great reward for our “hard” labor. This morning’s fresh berries eaten plain was more compensation for our efforts.

I think we are just getting warmed up.

Click U-Pick farms for Bay area locations offering discount berries (you provide the containers and the labor).

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Country Ain’t What It Used To Be, Either

Posted Mar 23, 2007 by Curtis Ross

Updated Mar 27, 2007 at 06:14 PM

Nashville songwriting once was the province of master craftsmen and women. Harlan Howard, Cindy Walker, Willie Nelson and Tom T. Hall could turn a phrase or tell a story with grace and ease.

Listen to country radio for an hour or so to hear how far it’s fallen.

It hits a new low on “A Different World,” the first single from the upcoming debut album by Bucky Covington.

Covington was a vocally and dentally challenged “American Idol” contestant who has inexplicably wound up under contract to Lyric Street Records.

The song itself, which amazingly bears three writers’ credits, turns a chain e-mail into song lyrics, a feat which must have taken 15 minutes, assuming they took a smoke break.

If you’ve never had this bit of prose forwarded your way, lucky you.

It’s a boomer take on “back in my day,” which implies that coming of age before car safety seats and bicycle helmets proves we’re tougher than these kids today.

Tucked in with fond reminiscences of lead paint and tobacco-enhanced gestations are these lines, which, unfortunately, are not sung to “The Waltons” theme:

Had three TV channels you got up to change

No video games and no satellite

Covington is 29 years old. If he grew up sans video games, cable and a remote control, it had to do with economics or parental restrictions.

But contemporary country—hell, pop songwriting in general—never met a cliché, generalization or slogan too hackneyed, hoary or just plain wrong to turn into a hit.

If “A Different World” tops the charts, expect a wave of chain mail and Internet rumor-based tunes: “They Left ‘In God We Trust’ Off the Dollar Coins,” perhaps, or “North Dakota Didn’t Need FEMA.”

Don’t forget to download and forward 10 times lest the chain be broken.

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Playing Shadowrun, On The DL

Posted Mar 23, 2007 by Wes Phillips

Updated Mar 23, 2007 at 04:55 PM

Beyond telling you that I’m participating in the “Shadowrun” beta, I can’t tell you anything about this Xbox 360 title. Well, I can tell you it’s a first-person shooter with a strong online component that’s due out for Xbox 360 and PCs in June. And I can tell you that it will be Microsoft’s first cross-platform game, meaning users on Windows Vista will be able to compete against 360 users and vice-versa.

Actually, I haven’t looked at the fine print of the NDA (Non-Disclosure Agreement) but I see plenty of places around the Internet giving impressions. I haven’t played it enough to give educated impressions yet, but it reminds me a lot of “Counter-Strike.”

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