Survivor: Fiji (03.29.07)  —-  aka Gonna Fly Now

Posted Mar 29, 2007 by Chris Kuhn

Updated Mar 29, 2007 at 09:32 PM

Last week’s big tribe shake-up on Survivor: Fiji (CBS/Thursdays) has left things in a bit of a disarray in the Ravu camp. Anthony was sent packing even though it looked as if Alex and Edgardo were the only ones with some sense. I wish I knew why they did that to him. Much like Sanjaya on Idol, Rocky is the player who just won’t go away. Please, Ravu, come to your senses and vote off Rocky or Lisi this week.

And speaking of the lazy whiner, Lisi meets up with her new tribe and assures them that Exile Island reinvigorated her – gee, think this might be for strategic reasons to stay on the island? Hmmm…that’s not transparent.

Earl and Yao-man are still scheming to find the hidden immunity idol. Like last time, Earl takes the gang far away to give Yao-man a chance to dig. And dig away, he does. Amazingly, he finds it! When Earl returns with the gang, Yao-man sneaks away to show his partner in crime the big loot. They are both psyched to have the treasured safety guard and both vow to make the other aware when they’re vulnerable and share its power.

The tribes meet up for this week’s reward challenge. Team members will use flame-throwers to hit three far away targets. The winning team will get picked up and flown to a private island arcade with foosball, bowling and other fun distractions with tasty hot dogs and beer to make the day complete. Now, that’s a cool reward. The teams go head to head and it soon becomes clear that they’re pretty evenly matched. But Dreamz shows everyone how it’s done by going two for two and winning Ravu its first ever reward challenge. Ravu selects Earl to go to Exile Island, which is ironic since we know that he already owns a piece of the hidden immunity idol.

We get to watch Lisi and the pigs of Ravu eat way too much food, drink far too much beer and puke uncontrollably. Rocky’s whining about his fallen comrades crashed on the couches with sore bellies and the gang is getting tired of hearing his rants. Earl is making the best of his time on Exile Island. There’s nothing to scheme since he and his buddy found the idol, so he enjoys the scenery and the sunshine, even renaming Exile Island “Earl Island – in Fiji” with a flowy script logo drawn in the sand. He’s a cool guy. I like Earl and really hope he wins this thing. I just hope Yao-man doesn’t turn on him now that he technically holds the power in his pocket.

Back on Moto, Boo is bummed that they lost and knows that if they go to Tribal Council later, he’s planning to vote out Yao-man. Of course, we know the man’s got the hidden idol. But we get to witness the coolest, most clever action I can remember seeing on the show in years. Yao-man creates another hidden immunity idol – made of a coconut shell with an I.I. painted on it. He buries it in the same location as the one he discovered. What a brilliant idea. Now, if someone else finds it, they’ll think they’ve won immunity but upon presenting their idol, will learn that it’s not authentic. How cool!

For tonight’s immunity challenge, one tribe member acts as caller and guides their team to smash skulls containing letter tiles that once found will spell out the mystery phrase. Michelle calls for Moto and she is spectacular. She guides people safely to the hanging skulls and to the table to drop off the letters, and gets so enthusiastic she even drops off the high platform upon which she stands. It’s both scary and hilarious at the same time, but she picks herself up and hops back on the plank to guide her team. Lisi and Alex lead their team through the challenge successfully and it comes down to puzzle-solving. Once again, Michelle shows how valuable she is to the team for her smarts and figures out the mystery phrase first – Cannibal Isles. Moto wins immunity again!

Ravu is contemplating who’s going home. To Alex, Edgardo and Lisi, it’s pretty easy. Rocky is their man. Mookie doesn’t want to vote against his old tribe member and he’s trying to figure out how to save his buddy and get rid of someone from the original Moto crew. Lisi tells her buddies Alex and Edgardo that they should work together to locate the hidden immunity idol on the island, so using the same general philosophy as Yao-Man and Earl. She seems pretty close to the right spot and we see her digging a little. We’re not sure if she found it or not as the group heads to Tribal Council.

At Tribal Council, it becomes clear that it will be either Rocky or Lisi, but we’re not sure which. No one presents the hidden immunity idol and with a 4 to 2 vote, Rocky goes home. Woo-hoo! I guess he’s not like Sanjaya after all.

So what did you think of tonight’s show? People in my Survivor pool have been putting points on loud-mouthed Rocky for weeks and weeks. It’s about time he finally hit the road. But he gets in the last word as he wails out loudly about his anger to the viewing audience and vows to get revenge as a jury member.

Next week, Lisi cries, Boo dances like a crazy man and Mookie digs for an Idol. Sounds like fun. Stay tuned…

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Ask Dr. Rock Snob!

Posted Mar 29, 2007 by Curtis Ross

Updated Mar 29, 2007 at 03:25 PM

Dear Dr. Rock Snob:

I pulled up beside you at a traffic light the other day and heard Journey blasting from your car stereo. Specifically, “Line of Fire” from the 1981 live album, “Captured.”

I thought Journey was one of those commercially huge, critically loathed bands that are anathema to rock snobs. As an aspiring rock snob myself, should I be listening to Journey?

Signed,

Yo La Tengo 4Ever(?)

Dear Yo,

The enjoyment of non-traditional rock-snob artists such as Journey is a minefield of potential faux pas best left to the more seasoned snob.

Listening to such bands must be done with just the right mixture of elitist disdain and genuine fanhood. This often is accomplished by playing up a band’s instrumental prowess, i.e.: “Sure it’s tripe, but Neal Schon’s a genuinely inventive guitarist” or “Ross Valory’s spongy bass lines reveal a subtle reggae influence that elevates even cheese like this.”

See? You’ve made the case for listening to Journey while establishing that you’re actually too cool to listen to Journey.

(Don’t make the mistake other snobs have made by claiming “Open Arms” reminds them of their prom; everybody knows no rock snob ever made it to his prom.)

(Also, rock snobs are always male.)

Obviously, this sort of rationalizing takes time to perfect, the sort of time lesser individuals waste on dating, sports, reading, family, etc.

Novice snobs are best off avoiding questionable performers lest they slip and enjoy them without the proper ironic distance.

For now, stick with spotting the Stockhausen influence on the first two Alice Cooper albums and pretending Yo La Tengo hasn’t made the same album over and over since “I Can Hear the Heart Beating as One.”

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You Write The Caption

Posted Mar 29, 2007 by Janine Dorsey

Updated Mar 29, 2007 at 11:03 AM

Is this a preview of next season’s “American Idol” tryouts?  You write the caption!

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Mo’ Burritos Mo’ Happy

Posted Mar 29, 2007 by Janine Dorsey

Updated Mar 29, 2007 at 09:27 AM

I just happened across this information. If you register at Moe’s you can get a free burrito on your birthday. Kids can too at the Kids Club page.

Doc Green’s, a sandwich and salad joint, also has this offer. Check them out at DocGreens.com.

Now you’ve got both lunch and dinner covered.

Just thought you’d want to know.

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American Idol—- 03.28.07

Posted Mar 28, 2007 by Chris Kuhn

Updated Mar 28, 2007 at 10:25 PM

It’s time to find out if America has finally come to its senses and realized that Sanjaya simply must go away. Like a bad sunburn, like a rotten tomato, like Anne Coulter—- he must go away, quickly - very quickly and far, far, FAR away. Host Ryan Seacrest starts the show with a fashion statement, decked out in a bushy gathered wig a la Sanjaya’s hair from last night’s performance. Would that hair leave a stronger impression than the poor boy’s singing? And what kind of impression has he and the other singers made on you? Feel free to share your thoughts on this week’s performance and results shows here or in our American Idol forum. And let’s try to make some sense out of this show’s developments - together.

We get the obligatory recap from last night’s show and suffer through this week’s Ford music video featuring jazzy Jordin Sparks and cool cat Chris Richardson in a High Noon duel surrounded by fellow Idol crooners and Mustangs rolling into town (and I mean, the shiny red ones, not the ones that whinny). I Fought the Law and the Law Won. Cute. Yawn.

But Ryan must lower the boom some time. He lets a few singers know that they’re safe - namely, Blake, LaKisha, Melinda, Jordin and Chris Richardson. And yep, Sanjaya. (I dropped the remote control - “what did he say? Sanjaya is safe?!”) I imagine that neighbors everywhere are clutching their heads, throwing large inanimate objects at the TV and spewing a multitude of colorful exclamations about the surprising turn of events. Yes, we really have to listen to this guy and watch his outrageous antics at least one more week. Oy.

But who’s in trouble? Phil Stacey and Haley Scarnato are in the bottom three. Only two people remain - Gina and Chris Sligh - and one of them is in the toilet this week. Man, I don’t want Phil or Gina to go this week because in my view, they were by far the strongest singers last night. But before we learn the third unlucky soul, it’s time for the totally inane and uncomfortably easy American Idol Challenge for the week (something really tough like which person shown has a mustache). Then, we’re treated to this week’s musical guest and mentor to our Idols, Gwen Stefani who performs with co-hort Akon something thoroughly forgettable. But she was great with the kids last night and I was impressed with her sincerity and candor with the performers.

Finally, Ryan unveils the third finalist who’s in this week’s bottom three and it’s Chris Sligh, who early on seemed like a real contender but has gotten weaker and less memorable every week since then. Ryan puts one of the finalists out of their misery by sending Phil back to the group as he is safe this week (yea!) So it’s Haley Scarnato or Chris hitting the road tonight and America’s verdict? Bye, bye, Mr. Sligh. After many weeks of mediocrity and going from sly to slight, it’s time to pack it up, buddy.

So will you still be watching Idol next week? So many people have told me that they’re giving it up this week if Sanjaya survived and clearly he’s coming back next week for another off-key, off the wall performance. They’ll be celebrating the music of Tony Bennett (or at least old standards, I think) next week and I just can’t wait to hear Sanjaya belt out “I did it my way!” And hopefully, America will do it their way and get him the heck out of this competition. Pronto! Stay tuned…

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