Ask Dr. Rock Snob!

Posted Mar 29, 2007 by Curtis Ross

Updated Mar 29, 2007 at 03:25 PM

Dear Dr. Rock Snob:

I pulled up beside you at a traffic light the other day and heard Journey blasting from your car stereo. Specifically, “Line of Fire” from the 1981 live album, “Captured.”

I thought Journey was one of those commercially huge, critically loathed bands that are anathema to rock snobs. As an aspiring rock snob myself, should I be listening to Journey?

Signed,

Yo La Tengo 4Ever(?)

Dear Yo,

The enjoyment of non-traditional rock-snob artists such as Journey is a minefield of potential faux pas best left to the more seasoned snob.

Listening to such bands must be done with just the right mixture of elitist disdain and genuine fanhood. This often is accomplished by playing up a band’s instrumental prowess, i.e.: “Sure it’s tripe, but Neal Schon’s a genuinely inventive guitarist” or “Ross Valory’s spongy bass lines reveal a subtle reggae influence that elevates even cheese like this.”

See? You’ve made the case for listening to Journey while establishing that you’re actually too cool to listen to Journey.

(Don’t make the mistake other snobs have made by claiming “Open Arms” reminds them of their prom; everybody knows no rock snob ever made it to his prom.)

(Also, rock snobs are always male.)

Obviously, this sort of rationalizing takes time to perfect, the sort of time lesser individuals waste on dating, sports, reading, family, etc.

Novice snobs are best off avoiding questionable performers lest they slip and enjoy them without the proper ironic distance.

For now, stick with spotting the Stockhausen influence on the first two Alice Cooper albums and pretending Yo La Tengo hasn’t made the same album over and over since “I Can Hear the Heart Beating as One.”

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You Write The Caption

Posted Mar 29, 2007 by Janine Dorsey

Updated Mar 29, 2007 at 11:03 AM

Is this a preview of next season’s “American Idol” tryouts?  You write the caption!

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Mo’ Burritos Mo’ Happy

Posted Mar 29, 2007 by Janine Dorsey

Updated Mar 29, 2007 at 09:27 AM

I just happened across this information. If you register at Moe’s you can get a free burrito on your birthday. Kids can too at the Kids Club page.

Doc Green’s, a sandwich and salad joint, also has this offer. Check them out at DocGreens.com.

Now you’ve got both lunch and dinner covered.

Just thought you’d want to know.

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American Idol—- 03.28.07

Posted Mar 28, 2007 by Chris Kuhn

Updated Mar 28, 2007 at 10:25 PM

It’s time to find out if America has finally come to its senses and realized that Sanjaya simply must go away. Like a bad sunburn, like a rotten tomato, like Anne Coulter—- he must go away, quickly - very quickly and far, far, FAR away. Host Ryan Seacrest starts the show with a fashion statement, decked out in a bushy gathered wig a la Sanjaya’s hair from last night’s performance. Would that hair leave a stronger impression than the poor boy’s singing? And what kind of impression has he and the other singers made on you? Feel free to share your thoughts on this week’s performance and results shows here or in our American Idol forum. And let’s try to make some sense out of this show’s developments - together.

We get the obligatory recap from last night’s show and suffer through this week’s Ford music video featuring jazzy Jordin Sparks and cool cat Chris Richardson in a High Noon duel surrounded by fellow Idol crooners and Mustangs rolling into town (and I mean, the shiny red ones, not the ones that whinny). I Fought the Law and the Law Won. Cute. Yawn.

But Ryan must lower the boom some time. He lets a few singers know that they’re safe - namely, Blake, LaKisha, Melinda, Jordin and Chris Richardson. And yep, Sanjaya. (I dropped the remote control - “what did he say? Sanjaya is safe?!”) I imagine that neighbors everywhere are clutching their heads, throwing large inanimate objects at the TV and spewing a multitude of colorful exclamations about the surprising turn of events. Yes, we really have to listen to this guy and watch his outrageous antics at least one more week. Oy.

But who’s in trouble? Phil Stacey and Haley Scarnato are in the bottom three. Only two people remain - Gina and Chris Sligh - and one of them is in the toilet this week. Man, I don’t want Phil or Gina to go this week because in my view, they were by far the strongest singers last night. But before we learn the third unlucky soul, it’s time for the totally inane and uncomfortably easy American Idol Challenge for the week (something really tough like which person shown has a mustache). Then, we’re treated to this week’s musical guest and mentor to our Idols, Gwen Stefani who performs with co-hort Akon something thoroughly forgettable. But she was great with the kids last night and I was impressed with her sincerity and candor with the performers.

Finally, Ryan unveils the third finalist who’s in this week’s bottom three and it’s Chris Sligh, who early on seemed like a real contender but has gotten weaker and less memorable every week since then. Ryan puts one of the finalists out of their misery by sending Phil back to the group as he is safe this week (yea!) So it’s Haley Scarnato or Chris hitting the road tonight and America’s verdict? Bye, bye, Mr. Sligh. After many weeks of mediocrity and going from sly to slight, it’s time to pack it up, buddy.

So will you still be watching Idol next week? So many people have told me that they’re giving it up this week if Sanjaya survived and clearly he’s coming back next week for another off-key, off the wall performance. They’ll be celebrating the music of Tony Bennett (or at least old standards, I think) next week and I just can’t wait to hear Sanjaya belt out “I did it my way!” And hopefully, America will do it their way and get him the heck out of this competition. Pronto! Stay tuned…

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Much Ado About Nothing Much

Posted Mar 28, 2007 by TBO.com

Updated Mar 29, 2007 at 02:56 PM

Xbox fanboys all over the Internet were practically wetting themselves with excitement yesterday when Xbox Live went down for about 12 hours for scheduled “maintenance.” The theory floating around was that this downtime was Microsoft‘s preparation for the release of the “Halo 3” beta, which is arguably the most anticipated video game ever. When Microsoft said it had a big announcement to make after the service went back online, the rumor mill went into overdrive.

Not surprisingly, the rumors were wrong. The announcement was this: Microsoft is issuing a new Xbox 360 Elite with a 120 GB hard drive, HDMI support and a sleek black finish.

::crickets chirping::

Didn’t we know about that, oh ... at least three weeks ago?

The only new info is that the system will retail for $479.99, which is a bump of about $80 over the original 360 configuration—and at least brushes up against PlayStation 3 territory.

So what if you already own a 360? Is it worth upgrading? The 120 GB hard drive (which will also be sold separately for $179.99) is probably essential if you hope to take advantage of everything the 360 offers (or will offer soon, such as IPTV, high-def movies and DVR capabilities). And if you have an HDMI-equipped television set, it’s a no-brainer.

Which could pose a problem. What happens to all the Xbox Live Arcade games you downloaded onto your old hard drive? Do you have to pay for them again? What about your gamertag? Since its release, the 360 message boards have been overrun with posts from gamers who have experienced major problems trying to transfer their gamertag from one system to another. (And not just because it takes, like, two hours.)

Of course, for early adopters, the major issue here may be that they paid $400 for a system that became obsolete in a matter of 16 months. It’s kind of like when you splurged for the 40GB iPod and a few months later found out you could’ve gotten a 60 GB model with video for the same price.

So what do you think? Should 360 owners be pissed that their almost-new systems are no longer cutting-edge? Or should they just accept that this is the price you pay for being the first on your block with any new gadget?

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