Dancing With The Stars: The Results—- 04.10.07

Posted Apr 10, 2007 by Chris Kuhn

Updated Apr 10, 2007 at 11:25 PM

It’s time to find out how our celebrity ballroom dancers did after last night’s performances on Dancing with the Stars: The Results (ABC/Tuesdays). Will it be dull Leeza Gibbons, gangly Clyde Drexler or disappointing John Ratzenberger?

Two weeks in a row, the judges pick Joey Fatone and partner Kim Johnsson as the encore dance performance (hmm…the judges are showing some favoritism already, but I have to agree – it truly was the best last night!) For some bizarre reason, the ballroom has invited Big and Rich to perform “Save the Horse, Ride the Cowboy” tonight. But it gives the dancers a chance to do a little sexy dance and I’m having flashbacks to Drew and Cheryl’s final freestyle dance from two seasons ago because I think they danced to this number. And what do you know? Season two winner Drew Lachey pops out on to the stage and starts dancing with old partner Cheryl Burke. It’s a nice surprise and makes up for the singing.

After we hear the studio audience criticize the judges for being harsh and the celebrities for being lazy, it’s time to find out two couples who are safe and they are… Singer Billy Ray Cyrus and partner Karina as well as Olympic medalist Apolo and dance buddy Julianne.

We watch a couple of Latin dance champions showcase a proper samba, one of next week’s main dance styles highlighted. And I’m wondering: with all of these great dance teachers already on the show, did they really need to go out and bring in yet another couple? I might have cared if I were watching Edyta or Maksim. For a demonstration of the rumba, next week’s other dance, it’s time for Jimmy Kimmel and everyone’s favorite parking attendant in drag Gullermo to show us a perfect rumba. As always, it’s the highlight of the results show and once again looks like every dance the two partners have performed so far.

The show is halfway over and we still know only two teams who are safe. (Do they really need a full hour for this results show?) Big and Rich returns to the stage and it’s time to test out that fast-forward button again. It’s time for an anatomy lesson as the judges talk dancer body parts and what build a great dancer. Yawn. How about what builds a good results show? Some results, maybe? We learn that boxer Laila Ali and partner Maks will be back, and so will Clyde and Elena. Geez. That’s horrible.

After a commercial, we see a montage about decisions the dance teachers are faced with each week and I just want to know what decision America made. So let’s get back to the results. Singer and actor Joey Fatone and partner Kim are safe (hurrah) and actor Ian Ziering and dance dynamo Cheryl will be back, too. Charity fundraiser Heather Mills and partner Brian are also safe. But TV host and lousy dancer Leeza Gibbons and dance buddyTony are in deep doo-doo and joining them in the pile, actor John Ratzenberger and cool coach Edyta. Oh man, I hope Leeza goes home. She’s been awful every week. John just had one bad night.
This week’s loser is…Leeza Gibbons. And it should be. I hope John can recover from this week and deliver a stellar performance next time around. What did you think of tonight’s results? Is it me or are these results shows painful to sit through? They just go and on and seem so totally overdone. Thirty minutes would completely cover all of the bases. Next week, we’ll go Latin-dance crazy with the rumba and samba. I can’t wait to see Clyde attempt this one with those unbendable hips. Ha! Stay tuned…

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American Idol—- 04.10.07

Posted Apr 10, 2007 by Chris Kuhn

Updated Apr 10, 2007 at 11:30 PM

This week’s guest mentor on American Idol (FOX/Tuesdays) is Jennifer Lopez, and I’m really not sure what she’s here for, so I’ll be curious to see what the theme is – will it be movie songs? Dance songs? Contemporary tunes? Nope, turns out that everyone is doing Latin stuff. HUH? What on Earth will Phil or Melinda do? Yikes. This is going to be one wacky night. Does Bryan Adams’  “Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman?” count? Hope so – I got a song for you, Phil. (But already I can hear Sanjaya channelling Peter Allen and Pablo Cruise in a bright, flowery, ruffled shirt, holding maracas and screeching “When my baby smiles at me, I go to Rio - De Janeiro…”)

As usual, I’ll be blogging away and offering my take on the performances as well as the comments and loopy statements of judges Randy Jackson, Paula Abdul and Simon Cowell. Please feel free to chime in with your thoughts here or at the American Idol Forum. I want to hear from you, even when we’re not on the same page.

So let’s get this fiesta going and first up to show off her Latin moves and sounds…

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Melinda Doolittle
“Sway”

I Say –  She’s doing an okay job with this song and getting away with a not-so-Latin take on the sultry song. She sounds good but I still think she gives off a torch singer vibe – and we’re talking one that’s about 20 years older than she actually is. But she gives a good performance.

Randy – Calls it another solid performance and liked it.
Paula – Says it was subtle, sexy and beautiful.
Simon – Tells her he didn’t like it and it was very cabaret.
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LaKisha Jones
“Conga”

I Say – She can’t really keep up with the fast-paced, breathy song. She’s off-key for much of the song and it’s definitely the wrong song choice for her. I think this lackluster performance will certainly drop her to the middle of the pack. Bad, very bad.

Randy – Says she was having a good time and calls the performance hot. (HUH?)
Paula – Tells her she looks lovely but says it was a real safe performance and that she didn’t bring out the best.
Simon – Agrees with Paula and says he knows she was having fun but he’s not sure if anyone at home was having fun.
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Chris Richardson
“Smooth”

I Say – I’m so glad that he thought of this song to do. I like this kid and how he does the song in his own style. But I never realized what a wide range this song requires. He doesn’t ace it but I think he does okay and I hope he’ll be safe this week. Sure, it started weak but ended strong. Nice go at it, Chris.

Randy – Tells him he did a really good job.
Paula – Calls it a hot performance and that he was really sexy.
Simon – Says he preferred it to the first two performances because it sounded contemporary (Duh! Guess what? The two singers you always praise – Melinda and LaKisha sound like old singers…haven’t you figured that out yet?)
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Haley Scarnato
“Turn the Beat Around”

I Say – She’s attempting the Glorida Estefan version of this disco classic. An interesting song choice for a woman with no fullness in her voice and even less rhythm. But she’s got legs and a sexy vibe and she’s using that to sell it to the audience. I guess she’s hoping that they’ll miss the fact that she can’t sing at all. It’s a horrendous performance. Please, voters – if you make us suffer through Sanjaya one more week at least kick Haley out of this thing. Please!

Randy – Calls it bad karaoke and it didn’t work for him.
Paula – Says while it’s not a singer’s song, she can tell Haley had fun.
Simon – Tells her that she has a good tactic wearing as few clothes as possible.
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Phil Stacey
“Maria, Maria”

I Say – I don’t like this song at all. He’s back into the bad hats again. And as I listen to the song, I’m thinking that maybe this is the number Chris should have sung. But I will say this – he sounds contemporary and that’s been a problem for him sometimes. Yet his voice doesn’t match his old-guy vibe and look. He gets loud and bold at the end of the song, though he misses the big note and I’m left a little underwhelmed this week. Sorry, Phil, I didn’t like it.

Randy – Tells him that it didn’t seem like Phil connected with the song.
Paula – Says vocally it was really good barring that last note.
Simon – Calls it a lifeless, flat performance and says it wasn’t original at all.
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Jordin Sparks
“Rhythm Is Gonna Get You”

I Say – She is so great. This is a great song choice for her range and it captures that fun, sparkling quality that she has. I love the extra runs she adds to the end to remind us that she has an awesome voice. I think the judges could say the performance itself was a bit lifeless but her voice is always tremendous.

Randy – Says it was hot (and a lot of other stuff I really didn’t understand).
Paula – Calls her authentic and adorable.
Simon – Tells her it was an okay performance but nothing stunning.
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Blake Lewis
“I Need to Know”

I Say – What a ballsy guy doing her hubby’s song and Marc Anthony is so much better a singer than Blake. But it does sound like something you might hear on the radio, so I still think this guy has a shot to make it far in the competition. It’s okay but I don’t think it’s the best of the night. Overall, this evening really stinks but I had a hunch it might.

Randy – Calls it the best performance of the night.
Paula –Says it captured the essence of who he is.
Simon – Agrees with Randy that it was the best song choice and best performance so far.
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Sanjaya Malakar
“Me Se Mi Mucho”

I Say – I have no idea if I’m spelling this right, but frankly I don’t care. This is the only slow, lethargic love ballad of the night, so who better to do it than Sanjaya. But tonight he’s not outlandish and freakish and much more subdued and what is that fuzzy stuff over his lip? Sanjaya has facila hair? He almost looks and sounds like a normal guy tonight. How can that be? He’s not going anywhere this week. Just not horrible enough.

Randy – Says it was actually really good and calls him one of the smartest contestants he’s ever met.
Paula – Calls it smooth and nice.
Simon – Tells him that he couldn’t understand a word of it, says it sounded like a fourteen-year-old and then notes that it wasn’t that horrible.
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What a horrible night. Everyone seemed really out of their comfort zone and it really showed. What did you think? Tonight I’ll start my new voting strategy of foregoing all of my other favorites and putting all of my votes toward my ultimate favorite. So, Jordin – you’re getting my 100+ votes tonight. Make me proud next week.

Tomorrow night, we’ll bid farewell to this week’s Sanjaya casualty and I’m thinking Haley or Phil will be finally hitting the road. Stay tuned…

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Dancing With The Stars—- 04.09.07

Posted Apr 9, 2007 by Chris Kuhn

Updated Apr 10, 2007 at 12:01 AM

We’re back in the ballroom on this week’s Dancing with the Stars (ABC/Mondays) and the dances on our card tonight include the fiery, intense Paso Doble and the really, really whirly-twirly and borrrrrrring Waltzzz…huh? What? Did I miss something? Oh it’s just bumbling host Tom Bergeron and equally inept and excruciatingly witless co-host Samantha Harris.

As always, I’ll be blogging as I watch, speaking my mind (what’s new?) and giving the judges a piece of it, too. And yeah, sure, I’ll be recording what they say, too, even when it makes absolutely no sense at all (right, Bruno?). And be sure to share with me what you think about the dancers, your scores and feedback about my reactions or the judges. Go ahead. I can take it.

So let’s get started…

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Laila Ali & partner Maksim Chmerkovskiy
Paso Doble

The team is still reeling from last week’s fall from grace with the judges. They broke the rules of the tango, but they vow that they’ll be true to the dance of the bullfighter this week. I can’t wait to watch these two. Tough teacher Maks and his boxing champion mate are simply mesmerizing together.

I Say:
This isn’t what I expected from this dance. It’s far less intense that I expected. It’s more fun and flowy than I remember from past performances of the dance. There’s a lot of space between them again and I’m not sure if it’s okay. We’ll see if the judges are cool with it. I like it but don’t love it. I give them an 8, because even at their not-as-great, they still surpass most of the celebs.

The Judges Say:
Len –  Says they had nice flamenco moves but there wasn’t enough fire.
Bruno –  Tells them they started as a blockbuster but he feels like he’s watching reruns.
Carrie – Agrees with the guys and says Laila needs to work on opening up her arms and loosening up.

Scores:
21 (7 across the board)

The Last Word:
They hold them up to much higher standards, I think. The fans should save them though.
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Apolo Ohno & partner Julianne Hough
Waltz

The show’s youngest team tries to embrace the old-fashioned, ancient-looking moves of the waltz. The Olympic speed-skating medalist and his partner are so hip, vibrant and energetic that this should be a major feat if they accomplish it.

I Say:
They glide fairly well along the dancefloor together but a few places they seem to be a bit bumpy. Still, I like the effort and the gracefulness of the two and the fans in the studio audience are definitely taken, too. I give them an 8.

The Judges Say:
Bruno – Calls them the dream team and the crown jewels of the competition.
Carrie – Tells Apollo it was sophisticated and romantic.
Len – Disagrees and says it was riddled with bad footwork.

Scores:
26 (Carrie and Bruno – 9, Len – 8)

The Last Word:
I’m surprised that Len is that generous after the way he hammers them. I’m glad they did well.
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Leeza Gibbons & partner Tony Dovolani
Paso Doble

TV host Leeza Gibbons and her dance buddy get into the aggressive spirit of the paso doble by duking it out at the gym with a former Ultimate Fighting Champ. Yikes. I’m smelling some desperation from the Gibbons corner and this week, I predict she will go home. She’s just not resonating with viewers.

I Say:
I don’t see much paso doble going on here but Leeza is trying to show off that at fifty she’s still got a waist. Good for you, Leeza. Unfortunately, she still moves like she’s contemplating every move and it’s more a rendition of Tawny Kitaen in the infamous 80s music video from Whitesnake then a fiery Latin dance. It doesn’t help that they’re slowly marching across the dance floor to a Bon Jovi number. Oy. I give them a 4. And I’m being nice. Really nice.

The Judges Say:
Carrie – Says they looked awkward and unsteady.
Len –  Calls it dull and her worst dance.
Bruno –  Tells her that if a paso doble is a juicy steak, they gave him the diet version.

Scores:
16 (Len and Bruno – 5, Carrie – 6)

The Last Word:
They should be very happy with those scores. And start packing.
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Ian Ziering & partner Cheryl Burke
Waltz

The goofy class clown in him wants to joke. All the time. (And I thought Joey Fatone was out of control!) But actor Ian Ziering tries to get serious during practice, even waltzing in to the dance studio in his studio to whisk away his partner in a graceful, flowy embrace. The verdict is still out on this guy for me. There’s something about him I just don’t like, something feels very forced and not natural between him and Cheryl, compared to her previous pairing with Emmitt and Drew. We’ll see.

I Say:
She looks so different with long hair, it’s blowing mymind. But they do a nice job gliding along the floor. And he’s keeping up with the footwork and staying in serious character throughout the performance. I think they aced this one. I give them a 9, in spite of Ian.

The Judges Say:
Len –  Says he loved the start and spins and that it was a really good ballroom dance.
Bruno – Tells Ian he started as Mr. McDreamy but sometimes fell into Mr. McStiffy
Carrie –  Says that Ian needs to breathe more while he’s dancing and he’ll go far.

Scores:
24 (Len – 9, Bruno – 8, Carrie – 7)

The Last Word:
Wow. Clearly, the group doesn’t disagree on this guy. But I get the confusion completely. (And nope, I’m not touching Bruno’s comment.)
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John Ratzenberger & partner Edyta Sliwinska
Paso Doble

The actor is working hard with his dance coach to improve his technique after coming in next to last with the judges last week. Even his 91-year-old mom stops in to check up on him and she’s impressed with her boy’s moves. So am I. I really hope they do well tonight.

I Say:
This at least looks more like a paso doble to me but John’s not moving much out there tonight. It appears Edyta is doing all of the big moves and his posture is definitely not very good. I think the judges will hit them hard.  Sorry, John. I like you but I don’t think you did too well tonight. I give you a 6.

The Judges Say:
Bruno –  Points out that Edyta did all of the work and says John looked lost at times.
Carrie – Says she was confused and wasn’t sure if he was going for humor or just not doing well.
Len – Tells John that the dance just didn’t suit him and calls it a disaster.

Scores:
16 (Carrie – 6, Len and Bruno – 5)

The Last Word:
It’s the sad truth. It really was that bad this week.
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Clyde Drexler & partner Elena Grinenko
Waltz

The NBA giant is getting more exhausted every week. He shows up late to practice with his partner and she’s getting peeved. Good. Maybe we’ll finally be rid of his horrible dancing soon.

I Say:
This is such a simple interpretation of the waltz, it’s hard for even Clyde to mess this one up. He still manages to miss her hands and flub his footwork anyway but it’s like watching a 100-year-old man showing off his polka moves. Pretty dull and uneventful but frankly, after John’s horrendous performance, he might surprisingly be safe this week. I give them a 4.

The Judges Say:
Carrie –  Says that every choreographed move Clyde makes looks like the same dance.
Bruno –  Hammers Clyde for lack of effort and says he can forgive bad footwork but that he can’t forgive him for not trying.
Len –  Tells them there’s more romance between Donald Trump and Rosie O’Donnell.

Scores:
19 (Carrie – 6, Bruno – 5, Len – 4)

The Last Word:
It wasn’t pretty so not surprisingly, the scores aren’t either.
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Billy Ray Cyrus & partner Karina Smirnoff
Paso Doble

Poor Karina. She’s such a great dancer and teacher and she’s stuck with a hillbilly singer who can’t bend his knees let alone dance. We even hear her crying in the bathroom. It’s a bit sad and I feel sorry for her that she got saddled with this kooky cowboy.

I Say:
I’m still convinced that the kids who watch Hannah Montana each week are voting to keep him in the race and people my age who had a crush on Billy Ray back in the 80s. Their dance is more theatrics than actual dance moves. I give him some credit for putting a little something into it this week but I still don’t see a great dancer emerging. I give them a 6.

The Judges Say:
Len – Says that he’s seeing improvement and that Billy Ray is giving his all.
Bruno – Calls him a mad bull from Pamplona and that he sees the fire in his eyes.
Carrie – Tells them that it was sexy, odd, awkward and strange all rolled into one but a great effort.

Scores:
21 (7 across the board)

The Last Word:
These two are hanging in there and it’s all because of Karina’s determination. She rocks.
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Heather Mills & partner Jonathan Roberts
Waltz

Surprisingly, the slow dance is really challenging for the charity fundraiser and her prosthetic leg. It requires more balance and fluidity than she’s had to demonstrate so far. She has been such a surprise to me this season – not just her flexibility, agility and endurance on the dancefloor, but my view of her. I really came into this season expecting to hate her, if only in defense of one of my favorite Beatles. But she makes it so hard to dislike her. Damn.

I Say:
The two do a wonderful job capturing the elegance and romance of the dance. She keeps her balance and composure, stays in character and it’s by far one of the best waltzes of the night. Maybe the best. I give it a 9.

The Judges Say:
Bruno –  Tells her she continues to amaze him.
Carrie –  Says this week Heather wasn’t as good and that her shoulders and posture were not as good.
Len –  Disagrees with Carrie and says it was great choreography.

Scores:
23 (Len and Bruno – 8, Carrie – 7)

The Last Word:
I think they didn’t get enough credit for that dance. It was much better than the scores reflect.
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Joey Fatone & partner Kym Johnson
Paso Doble

Poor Joey. He’s still overcome with the judges’ comments about his bum sticking out too much while he dances. The singer and actor gets a visit from his tough-as-nails daughter who offers some tough love and dance tips while he practices with his partner. This should be great as always.

I Say:
Finally, a paso doble that looks, feels and sounds like a paso doble. I love it already from the first few opening moves. This is awesome. They have by far the best moves of the night. Everything is right with this paso doble. I want to hear the judges refute this one. And his butt looks just fine. I give them a very solid 9 (only because I don’t want to jinx them with a 10 this early in the competition!)

The Judges Say:
Carrie –  Tells him he was on fire tonight.
Len – Says he captured the flavor of that dance and calls it the best paso doble of the nigh.
Bruno – Agrees that it was a mean paso doble and that he was right on it.

Scores:
28 (Carrie – 10, Len and Bruno – 9)

The Last Word:
Yes! I think I’ll go back and watch that one again, I liked it that much!
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What did you think about tonight’s performances? I’m so happy for Joey Fatone. He’s so deserving. Truly, he, Laila and Apollo are the real stars of this dance competition. Those are the three I’m rooting for but I really think Joey may be the best and tonight demonstrated just what he can do when he sets his mind to it (and pulls in his bum!)

Tomorrow night, we’ll see if Clyde’s lack of effort, John’s lack of dance moves or Leeza’s lack of skill sends them home. Stay tuned…

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Spider-Man Loves Indie Rock

Posted Apr 9, 2007 by Wes Phillips

Updated Apr 9, 2007 at 10:24 PM

As if “Spider-Man 3” wasn’t going to be awesome enough, I just stumbled upon the soundtrack page on MySpace.

The soundtrack, which is being released a couple days before the movie on May 1, features unreleased tracks from The Killers, Snow Patrol, Wolfmother, The Walkmen, Flaming Lips and my favorite ... the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. The new YYY track called “Sealings” is one of the three up on the MySpace page at the moment. (Although you can’t add it as your profile song. *HULK SMASH*)

While the “Spider-Man 2” soundtrack had a huge hit with Dashboard Confessional’s “Vindicated”, many of my friends accused Dashboard Confessional of selling out after that. (See: Snow Patrol) And even though Dashboard’s last album did sound like pop garbage (See: Snow Patrol), there’s no reason to believe that will be the case with indie stalwarts like The Flaming Lips. 

And besides, that YYY song is legitimately good without having the same kind of Top 40 hook that tempted me to chuck my XM on the interstate median a couple of summers ago.

Above all though, the biggest thing going for the “Spider-Man 3” soundtrack ... no Nickelback.

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The Battle Of ‘H,’ Hummer vs Honda

Posted Apr 9, 2007 by Vidisha Priyanka

Updated Apr 9, 2007 at 04:12 PM

As I see my neighbor ride home in that honking big Hummer of hers while I slink by in my beat up jalopy, I wish I had the invisible mirror technology of James Bond on my car so that no one could see it.

Don’t get me wrong. I love my little Honda, it has been with me through thick and thin. I have taken many a trips with it without any trouble. It still doesn’t give me any trouble but I am losing faith.

It has 166k miles on it.

I have a myriad of questions.

Will it still run?

What if I am stranded in the middle of the night somewhere?
What will I do if it starts to overheat and I have no gas station in sight and no water in the car?

Yes, yes, I have a cell phone. But what does that matter if my car gives up on me?

I have to have a certain degree of anxiety. After all I am a modern woman.

So I look at my neighbor’s Hummer with envy, and I tell myself I am doing a great service to the environment by running my Honda that gives me 33 miles per gallon. (in the city and yes this is indeed true). I tell myself, the Hummer is contributing to the fossil fuel extinction.

It is not the exterior that matters, it is how you are inside. I shall remain loyal to my car, till my mechanic convinces me to buy another.

I wish I could drive that Hummer, or at least not pull in at the same time my neighbor does. The dilemma of the modern woman consumes me.

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