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John Allman

If you’ve ever wandered the aisles at the video store or surfed the DVR pay-per-view options and seen a bunch of movies that you’ve never heard of, chances are John has watched them. Why? He loves movies. All kinds of movies. Good, bad, so-bad-they’re good, even the truly unwatchable ones. He mostly loves horror and science-fiction and drive-in exploitation movies that most upstanding model citizens wouldn’t dare watch. Then he writes up his thoughts so you can decide - watch, don’t watch or avoid at all costs. Sometimes he even gets to talk to the cool folks who make some of your favorite films.

Blood, Violence and Babes
John Allman

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Someone’s Knocking at the Door

Posted Jul 18, 2010 by John Allman

Updated Jul 18, 2010 at 11:44 AM

Someone’s Knocking at the Door
Genre: Horror
Directed by: Chad Ferrin
Run time: 80 minutes
Rating: Unrated
Format: Blu-Ray

The Lowdown: There are moments of pure, unadulterated insanity in Chad Ferrin’s wonderfully offensive “Someone’s Knocking at the Door” that will challenge even the most die-hard horror fan not to cringe.

That Ferrin and Co. pull off the impressive feat of making you keep watching is part of what makes his blissfully surreal mind-screw so enjoyable, even if it ultimately doesn’t reach the pinnacle of true cult classic.

Ferrin utilizes a standard genre cliché, which I won’t ruin here, without tipping his hand too early, and though the final act doesn’t maintain the crazed, runaway freight train abandon of its first two-thirds, “Someone’s Knocking” never fails to shock and surprise with its graphic and lurid depictions of an experimental drug that has seriously twisted side effects.

Noah Segan continues his run of top-lining incredibly controversial independent horror films, following his star turns in “Dead Girl” and the lesser “Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever.”

In “Dead Girl,” he played a high school misfit who torments and sodomizes a female zombie. Here, he plays a drug-addled college student who stumbles across an old case file about a pair of demon-worshipping serial killers and the experimental drug they were given to try and cure their particular illness.

The drug, however, creates visceral hallucinations for the intrepid band of party-loving friends who decide to sample the goods and wind up being stalked by a sexually-charged, gender-switching poltergeist whose well-endowed anatomy would put John Holmes to shame.

That’s right, folks: What we have here is the first horror movie to feature full-on, unedited, gruesome and gory kills by a giant, mutated penis.

Just when you think you’ve seen it all, this is the movie to remind you that you haven’t. Apparently, there are unmined depths of depravity, Virginia, still waiting to be explored.

To which I say, bravo, Mr. Ferrin, bravo.

The Stuff You Care About:
Hot chicks – Yes, several.
Nudity – Yes, lots. Full-frontal and fully engorged.
Gore – Over the top and awesome.
Drug use – Plentiful.
Bad Guys/Killers – Your brain on drugs, and your anatomy.
Buy/Rent – Buy it, but know what you’re in for.
Blu-Ray Bonus Features – Multiple audio commentaries; making-of documentary; deleted-extended scenes; original poster artwork; short film tie-in, “Taldron Drug Test Subject #1”; music video directed by Noah Segan.
On the Web – http://someones-knocking-at-the-door.com/
Release Date – May 25, 2010