I again had the pleasure and discomfort of being a judge on Saturday at the Steve Otto Chili Cook-Off, which was held this year in Wesley Chapel.

I say pleasure because hanging with Steve and his chili-freak friends is always entertaining. They’re a great bunch who knows how to have fun. They also know how to ply judges with cigars, tequila and beads shaped like chili peppers. If you’re a judge, this is a perfect motivator to participate.

I say discomfort because, well, if you have to motor through eating 19 salsas and 39 versions of chili, your innards get a workout they were never intended to receive. Plus, the Law of Averages, which states that a random variable eventually will reflect its underlying probability over a very large sample, does not apply here. Very few of the chilis served Saturday achieved average. Which means that more than half were at best disappointing or at worst pretty tough to choke down.

One batch tasted like it came from a slum in Mumbai. Several had vegetable ingredients that looked like they were gathered during a last-minute run through the all-you-can-eat salad bar at Golden Corral. If there’s one thing that I don’t want my chili to be, it is fettered with things that might be good for me.

One other chili had chunks in it that were so large that they resembled… well…

... Rocky Mountain Oysters.

I speak for all judges when I say spherical objects resembling testicles are verboten in chili.

Who won? I’ll let Steve tell the story:

“The honor, and $1,000, went to defending champion Krewe of Zingaro, which does terrific charity work. So it was a win for many people.

“Second place went to the all-time prize winner, Cowboy Chucky Langston, the Legend of Lutz. Third place went to another former winner, K.A.T.N. of Clearwater. K.A.T.N., which I’m sure stands for something, also won the salsa contest.”

The Krewe’s recipe, which was tweaked from last year’s version, runs below.

But, as I said, not all was well. Steve writes:

“Several judges noticed an alarming trend (other than the continued use of beans, a no-no in the chili world) that nobody seems to understand what chili is about.

“American men, and apparently some women, are born with an innate sense of making chili. It’s in the genes, just as men know how to burn burgers on a grill and women to do everything else while men get the credit.

“But somebody needs to tell anyone who wants to get on the chili contest cooking circuit that it is not nice to hurt judges. I have names and phone numbers of some in this cook-off and when I wake up at 2 in the morning wondering what happened to my insides, I’m going to give them a call.”

Here’s a batch of photos I shot during the judging.

DISCLAIMER: Any that are out of focus can be blamed on the camera and not on any alcohol I may or may not have consumed during the 5-hour event:

A couple of clarifications in the Krewe of Zingaro’s 2009 Championship Chili. 

ZINGARO CHILI

10 pounds lean beef, sirloin tip roast or brisket will work, cut into 1/2-inch cubes

2 pounds pancetta, or Applewood smoked bacon, cut into lardoons (1/8-inch thick, 1/4-inch wide, 1-inch long)

2 large Vidalia onions, chopped

2 tablespoons garlic cloves, peeled and minced, then mashed in two tablespoons olive oil, divided

6 tablespoons ground cumin, divided

7 tablespoons regular chili powder

8 tablespoons (not teaspoons) hot chili powder

5 tablespoons smoked paprika, divided

2 teaspoons Mexican oregano

1 7-ounce can chipotles in adobo sauce, stems removed, seeded and chopped

2 to 3 tablespoons masa, optional

3 28-ounce cans crushed Italian tomatoes

16 ounces beef stock

1 12-ounce beer, warm

2 talespons flavor enhancer

6 tablespoons Kosher salt

1 teaspoon cayenne pepper

Olive oil

Put the chopped bacon into a heavy bottom skillet and cook over medium-high heat, until the fat is rendered.

With a slotted spoon, transfer the bacon into a 15-quart heavy bottomed stock pot.

Saute the chopped Vidallia onions in the heated iron skillet with the bacon drippings until soft, about 5 minutes over medium high heat, then transfer the onions to the stock pot.

Put one tablespoon of olive oil in the skillet and brown the meat in batches, alternating between the beef and pork, adding a little oil each time. When each batch is browned, add to the stock pot. When about halfway through the browning process, add half the garlic, 1/2 the cumin, 1 tablespoon smoked paprika, the regular chili powder, Mexican oregano, tomatoes, beer, beef stock, flavor enhancer and two teaspoons of the sea salt to the stock pot and begin to cook over medium heat.

Continue to brown the remaining meat and add to the simmering pot.

Cook over medium heat, covered, stirring occasionally, to maintain a good simmer, about 1 1/2 hours.

When the meat is tender, add the remaining cumin and garlic, hot chili powder, remaining 3 teaspoons smoked paprika, the chipotles in adobo sauce and remaining 2 teaspoons of sea salt and the cayenne pepper.

If using masa: Mix with some of the liquid, and reintroduce into the pot. Continue cooking, for at least 30 minutes to combine spices.