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John Allman

If you’ve ever wandered the aisles at the video store or surfed the DVR pay-per-view options and seen a bunch of movies that you’ve never heard of, chances are John has watched them. Why? He loves movies. All kinds of movies. Good, bad, so-bad-they’re good, even the truly unwatchable ones. He mostly loves horror and science-fiction and drive-in exploitation movies that most upstanding model citizens wouldn’t dare watch. Then he writes up his thoughts so you can decide - watch, don’t watch or avoid at all costs. Sometimes he even gets to talk to the cool folks who make some of your favorite films.

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John Allman

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New Releases for Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Posted Jul 26, 2011 by John Allman

Updated Jul 26, 2011 at 08:35 AM

What’s new in stores and on video shelves this week:

The Reef
Genre: Horror
Directed by: Andrew Traucki
Run time: 88 minutes
Rating: R
Format: Blu-Ray

The Lowdown: One of the few truly real-life terrifying things that I can imagine is being stranded in the ocean, no sign of land anywhere, forced to keep swimming, with nary a clue of what might be happening below me in the deep.

Several films have tried to capitalize on that fear in the years since “Jaws” first swam into the public consciousness and became an iconic and then overplayed, through consistently lamer sequels, film trope.

These films fall into two categories – the straight-up “Jaws” wannabes, aka “Deep Blue Sea,” which wasn’t a bad film for the genre, or the countless killer shark B-movies on SyFy, and the ripped-from-the-headlines, based on a true story flicks like “Open Water,” or its incredibly stupid sequel “Adrift.”

“The Reef” is based on a true story, and as such, it features the requisite set-up. Four friends and a crew member set sail to explore Australia’s Great Barrier Reef. The captain of the vessel had a long relationship with the sister of his friend. The sister has re-emerged for this trip and things are awkward. They visit an island, almost run aground when the tide goes out and, after several hours of sailing, strike a jagged, jutting rock and capsize their boat. Left with two options, swim back toward the island or wait it out on top of the hull of the boat and hope it doesn’t sink while praying help arrives, the four friends decide to swim for it. The crew member decides to gut it out on the boat.

At this point, about half the film is over. That leaves a lot of time for bobbing in the water. “Open Water” was basically an entire movie about bobbing in the water, and as such, really tested the patience of its viewers.

“The Reef” somehow manages to avoid monotony, thankfully, by having the four friends try to swim for the island that they cannot see and don’t know if they are even swimming in the right direction towards.

And there’s the added bonus of the great white shark that begins following them, picking them off one by one.

The shark footage is all real. No CGI was employed. And it grows increasingly more terrifying the longer the game of shark and mouse plays out. If anything, the “Reef” knows how to pile on the tension. I found myself pulling my feet off the floor and onto the couch on several occasions. I leaned forward and rocked, anxious about what was about to happen and who it might happen to. I became agitated wondering why, in all the blue depths, this damn monstrous creature had to keep picking on these poor people who suddenly found themselves in the worst possible scenario.

And that, my friends, is the mark of a taunt thriller.

Some people might grow tired of the above water bobbing, the underwater establishing shots, the frequent freak outs of some in the group. But I found each decision the cast made, whether to swim a few yards to retrieve a piece of boogie board that had been knocked out of their hands by the creature or form a tight circle and pray for the beast to pass, to be genuine and real.

The final 20 minutes, in particular, is harrowing, especially given the fact that land is in sight.

In the end, this isn’t a film for everyone because for many it may simply be too real, and thereby doesn’t qualify as entertainment. There’s a strong I-told-you-this-is-why-I-avoid-boating-trips argument to be made. But it is a decidedly well-made film and an above-average entry in an oft overlooked genre.

The Stuff You Care About:
Hot chicks – Yes.
Nudity – No.
Gore – Mostly implied.
Drug use – No.
Bad Guys/Killers – One very hungry shark.
Buy/Rent – Buy it.
Blu-Ray Bonus Features – Making-of featurette, theatrical trailer.

Torchwood: The Complete Original UK Series (BBC, 1584 minutes, Unrated, Blu-Ray): When Capt. Jack Harkness was introduced on “Doctor Who” six years ago, few people probably could have predicted what a lasting impact that character would have – not just on the ever-expanding Whoniverse, but on science fiction in general. Harkness and his super-secret, outside government control agency called Torchwood would go on to star in their very own BBC show, which is gathered here in a fan-tastic high-definition collection. I emphasized fan because “Torchwood” truly is a series created for fans of incredibly smart, insanely nuanced sci-fi the likes of which we rarely get to see. This is a show that had the gall, and wherewithal, to kill off not one but TWO major characters in a single episode. Such decisions make for a truly “real” viewing experience. The show is like life, anything can happen, at any time.

“Torchwood” – much like “Doctor Who” and “Being Human” – knows the virtue of taking its time and allowing storylines to play out organically and characters to develop slowly.

Many BBC shows, such as “Primeval” and “Demons,” throw so much at the viewer that you feel winded and spent by the end of the first hour.

But “Torchwood” is special, that rare episodic series that has consistently improved over the course of its two regular seasons and two shorter-season miniseries, “Children of Earth,” which is included in this 12-disc collection, and “Miracle Day,” which is airing now on Starz.

Much of the credit goes to Russell T. Davies, the British answer to Joss Whedon, who first revamped “Doctor Who” into the creative juggernaut that is has become since returning to weekly television in 2005, and then handed off “Who” to focus on “Torchwood.”

But even still, the show wouldn’t what it is without the incomparable John Barrowman as Harkness or Eve Myles as his partner, Gwen Cooper. Myles has evolved over the course of the show to be its tough-as-nails, yet unflappably human, core. And Barrowman has thoroughly embraced Harkness, a bisexual, immortal, time-traveling scoundrel who never lacks for a glint of mischief in his eye.

The most incredible thing about “Torchwood” is its ability to deftly combine both the inherent camp that exists in police and paranormal serials, that “oh no, the world is ending, kiss me, you fool” drama, with a genuine sense of urgency. Again, this is a show that has lost more than half its original cast, and not replaced them, since it began airing in 2006. When the world is in danger on “Torchwood,” it honestly feels like the world is in danger.

And then there are the stories – whether one-off tales of unrequited love, invading aliens or shape-shifting nasties, or the longer-arc storylines involving very complex science-fiction ideas, such as an alien force that targets only the world’s children, or a sudden, unexplainable planet-wide shift where no one dies anymore, and all the political, medical and societal complications that might ensue. The stories on “Torchwood” resonate because they challenge you to consider the impossible in a way that feels much more real than most TV shows you’re likely to ever watch.

Limitless (Fox, 105 minutes, PG-13, Blu-Ray): Here’s everything you need to know about the world, according to “Limitless”: Drugs are good. You should take as much of a drug as possible if it helps you gain an advantage that you otherwise wouldn’t have earned through hard work and perseverance. Killing people also is OK as long as it helps you continue to get ahead in a field you otherwise never would have had a chance to succeed in or they are trying to kill you to steal the drug that is giving you the advantage that you otherwise would never have had but that you now need to succeed in lieu of working hard and trying to do the right things to live a good life and get ahead.

Oh, and there is apparently no karma to come kick your butt for subverting the normal order of how things occur. And even if you look like a homeless man and lay around eating take-out pizza for weeks and months on end, you too can clean up to look like Bradley Cooper with his air-brushed abs and perfect teeth.

There are two redeeming things about “Limitless,” a throwback to the heyday of B-movies starring A-list stars from the 1980s like “Black Moon Rising” with Tommy Lee Jones.

The first is director Neil Burger, who does a really nice job employing a host of cool camera tricks to provide a visually striking film. He is definitely someone to watch, especially now that he’s been tapped to helm the upcoming videogame adaptation, “Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune.”

The second is a sick little scene about two-thirds of the way through “Limitless” where Cooper, finding himself in a predicament where most normal people would end up dead, makes a decision to juice himself up on the experimental brain drug NZT by lapping up the blood of someone he just killed who also was jacked up on NZT.

It’s a brave scene for a screen heartthrob because it shows just how big of a jackhole character he’s playing, someone so desperate to survive and hungry for a fix that he’s willing to lick blood off a floor.

Kudos for going there, sir. Kudos.

Tekken (Anchor Bay, 91 minutes, R, Blu-Ray): There is a discount bin in Hell filled with DVDs and Blu-Ray discs of all the failed live-action video game and manga adaptations like “Mortal Kombat,” “Street Fighter,” “Dragonball Z” and, now apparently, “Tekken.” This is one of those movies that you know is going to be cheesy, that you expect to really not be very good, that starts out promising and then completely falls apart well before the final fight that you already know the outcome so you end up wondering why you’re even bothering to watch it because…crap, I just almost put myself to sleep typing that incredibly long-winded sentence that reminded me of how I felt watching this… zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

House of the Rising Sun (Lionsgate, 90 minutes, R, Blu-Ray): If you based your video renting decisions solely on the synopsis written on the back of a DVD box, there’s no way anyone in their right mind would ever give “House of the Rising Sun” a chance. The paragraph is so poorly written, so ridiculously generic, so clichéd that it’s a wonder anyone actually provided funding to make the film. Never mind that it stars David Bautista, a former professional wrestling superstar. He’s actually perfectly passable because he’s given very little dialogue and mostly just glowers at people or beats them up. It’s just that the synopsis does such a disservice to what is, surprisingly, not a bad little B-grade action movie. So let this be a reminder – don’t ever base your decision whether to rent a movie solely on the box art description. Sometimes the synopsis oversells what is essentially a paint-by-numbers piece of crap and makes it sound like the be-all, end-all of motion picture experiences. And sometimes, so little care is used in crafting even a literate, educated description that a film worth watching on a rainy Saturday afternoon when nothing else is on the DVR, would almost always be overlooked or put back on the shelf.

Also Available:

Take Me Home Tonight – A movie made in 2010 based on movies from the 1980s that were better when they were made 20 years ago and didn’t have to rely on nostalgia to be funny.

Animal House – Top 10 best movies. All time. Ever. Still funny to this day.

The Blues Brothers – I hate Illinois Nazis. But I love this movie.

Cracks – The first feature from director Jordan Scott, the niece of director Tony Scott, the brother of director Ridley Scott, and featuring the luminous and sultry Eva Green, who is not related to the Scott family as far as I know.

Zonad – A comedy about an alcoholic who escapes rehab, breaks into a home and pretends to be from outer space so the family will let him stay. No, really, it’s a comedy.

Peep World – Dysfunctional family portrait with an all-star cast featuring Michael C. Hall, Sarah Silverman, Rainn Wilson, Ben Schwartz and Judy Greer.

Amelie – Whimsical French film that rode a wave of adoration and praise to the 2001 Academy Awards.

Boyz ‘N the Hood 20th Anniversary – Cuba! Morpheus! Cube! Given my druthers, I still think “Menace to Society” is the better L.A. gang violence picture.

Hey Dude: Season 1 – Remember this Nickelodeon show from the 1980s? It finally gets a proper DVD release.

The Girls Next Door: Season 6 – More blondes than one man should be able to handle.

Melrose Place: Season 6 Volume 2 – I don’t know what’s worse, that they split the final season into two volumes, thereby making the last season of “Melrose Place” seem that much more important, or that “The Girls Next Door” lasted as many seasons as a former wildly successful primetime soap opera.

Dumbstruck – That’s right, it’s an entire movie about ventriloquist dummies. Somewhere, there’s a guy who has been waiting his whole life for this movie to come out.

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