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John Allman

If you’ve ever wandered the aisles at the video store or surfed the DVR pay-per-view options and seen a bunch of movies that you’ve never heard of, chances are John has watched them. Why? He loves movies. All kinds of movies. Good, bad, so-bad-they’re good, even the truly unwatchable ones. He mostly loves horror and science-fiction and drive-in exploitation movies that most upstanding model citizens wouldn’t dare watch. Then he writes up his thoughts so you can decide - watch, don’t watch or avoid at all costs. Sometimes he even gets to talk to the cool folks who make some of your favorite films.

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New Releases for Tuesday, Jan. 10, 2012

Posted Jan 17, 2012 by John Allman

Updated Jan 17, 2012 at 07:56 PM

What’s new in stores and on video shelves this week:

Killer Elite
Genre: Action
Directed by: Gary McKendry
Run time: 117 minutes
Rating: R
Format: Blu-Ray

The Lowdown: Critics treat Jason Statham like a second-tier action star, like Steven Seagal or Jean Claude Van Damme, but only once they went strictly direct-to-DVD.

The truth is that Statham is a hell of a lot better than either actor on his own, or both put together. And Statham’s films, while often ridiculous, are for the most part consistently enjoyable. And lately, despite a critical drubbing and an absentee box office, Statham’s films have been exceptionally entertaining.

Since 2008, Statham has hit upon a streak of top-notch action thrillers, including “The Bank Job,” “Death Race,” “The Expendables,” “The Mechanic” and now “Killer Elite,” an extremely solid and surprisingly twisty spy thriller that packs in more fistfights and gun battles that a double feature of Jason Bourne.

Statham is at his square-jawed best playing Danny, a professional assassin, who decides to leave killing behind. His partner, Hunter, played by Robert DeNiro with the gravitas of a Scorsese film, which means he doesn’t phone it in, decides to continue on in the business. A year passes, and suddenly Danny is getting phone calls at his remote hideaway in Australia where no one should be able to locate him.

Hunter has been kidnapped by a dying Sheikh who wants vengeance for the deaths of three of his four sons. Danny is the only man capable of doing the killing because the targets are all former British SAS (Special Air Service), also known as The Feathermen because of their light touch and ability to kill someone so quietly that no one ever knows they were there.

The catch – and, it’s a good one – is that each of the assassinations must look like an accident, and Danny must get all the men to confess, on camera, before they die.

First-time feature director Gary McKendry does a good job carving out a style that’s not tied specifically to any other spy or action franchise. He doesn’t go crazy with the hyperkinetic editing of Tony Scott. He doesn’t try to do guerilla-style, pseudo-documentary handheld camera shots like Paul Greengrass. He just lets the action unfold, and when it comes time for another bone-crunching slugfest, McKendry does his best to stay out of the way, allowing his lens to capture the intensity of a close quarters fight without smothering the audience.

None of this would matter if “Killer Elite” didn’t have a killer supporting cast, in addition to Statham and DeNiro, and it does. Clive Owen is electrifying as Spike, the retired SAS guard dog employed by the super secret Feathermen organization. He really holds his own in the hand-to-hand combat scenes with Statham, and comes off as a legitimate threat.

The former SAS officers targeted for death are played by a host of superb British actors, and even Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Mr. Eko from “Lost,” gives a nice turn as a middle man handler trying to get paid once the contract is fulfilled.

If there is a criticism of “Killer Elite,” it is that the film could have been trimmed by about 20 minutes. There’s maybe one too many climatic fights, although the final twist is a good one and provides a refreshing conclusion in a genre where most people never walk away unscathed.

“Killer Elite” is a great action film that was criminally ignored in theaters and too easily dismissed by critics who failed to look beyond its B-movie lineage to find a highly enjoyable film.

The Stuff You Care About:
Hot chicks – No.
Nudity – No.
Gore – Gun violence.
Drug use – No.
Bad Guys/Killers – It depends on your perspective: Is the revenge-fueled Sheikh, his obnoxious and weak son, the deliriously evil former British SAS killers or the hired assassins dispatched to kill everybody.
Buy/Rent – Rent it.
Blu-Ray Bonus Features – Deleted scenes.
On the Web – http://www.killerelite.com/

Moneyball (Sony, 133 minutes, PG-13, Blu-Ray): “Moneyball” is an amazing movie, one of 2011’s best, and it should be recognized as such at the upcoming Academy Awards with acting nominations for Brad Pitt and Jonah Hill, a best director nod for Bennett Miller and a much-deserved adapted screenplay nomination for Aaron Sorkin and Steven Zaillian.

It’s nearly impossible to know where to begin when praising “Moneyball.”

Pitt gives an effortless performance as Billy Beane, imbuing him with a perfect double pinch of guy’s guy athleticism and mischievous, Tyler Durden-esque snark. Basically, Pitt justs seems to be playing himself, which is completely believable, and by doing so, you can’t help but hang on his every word.

Pitt is my favorite actor, ever. And he’s aging well. His face is developing those lines around his eyes and mouth that distinguish him. He’s ruggedly handsome, yet still boyish enough to be playing an adult kid, a former ball player who found a better fit outside the clubhouse in the front office.

Hill is a revelation as the straight man, the mastermind behind money ball, the concept that by studying statistics and averages, one could conceivably craft a winning team through mathematical equations and not raw talent.

But neither actor would be as effective if not for Sorkin and Zaillian’s superb script which does for baseball what Sorkin did last year for social networking – it makes it understandable, and relatable, and completely captivating.

Even if you know the story of the 2001-02 Oakland A’s, who rose from the bottom of the pack to contend for a division championship with a team made up of nobodies and supposed has-beens, after trading off the perceived talent or losing all-stars to free agency, you will be surprised by “Moneyball.”

The story crackles with unexpected tension because it’s being told from a perspective that we, the audience, have never until now been exposed to. I literally was sitting up on the couch, leaning forward, unsure what was to happen next, when I should have been relaxed back in the cushions, fighting off sleep.

Even if you don’t like baseball, or you avoid sports movies with fierce determination, make an exception for this one film. Trust me. You will be really glad you did.

What’s Your Number? (Fox, 117 minutes, Unrated, DVD): It’s difficult to succinctly ridicule a film that makes recent Katherine Heigl rom-coms look positively Oscar-worthy, but I will try.

“What’s Your Number?” wants to be an edgy alternative to the typical chick flick. Like “Bridesmaids,” it wants to have its overtly sexual and scatological humor without compromising its sweet, good girl chewy caramel center. But “Bridemaids” is one of the better written comedies of all time, a broad comedy that managed to make the most of its quirky subplots and surreal tangents without feeling contrived or, worse, like the ramblings of an 8-year-old with severe ADHD.

“What’s Your Number?” is not “Bridemaids.”

“What’s Your Number?” is so disjointed that it feels like three or four separate movies spliced together by a series of mad professor editors who somehow failed to notice the Grand Canyon-sized holes plaguing the script.

For one, “Number” can’t decide if it wants its lead actress, Anna Faris, to be a drunken tramp or a good girl who just happened to make 19 bad decisions. Here’s a hint, folks: If you don’t know how you perceive your main character, the audience isn’t going to have a clue what to make of her either.

Here’s another suggestion: Just because someone in the Writer’s Room came up with an interesting idea – why don’t Anna Faris and Chris Evans go play a game of Strip Horse at Madison Square Garden after midnight – doesn’t mean that idea should become a focal point of the film. For one, how would you explain them getting past security and not setting off alarms when they break in? And wouldn’t maybe someone notice two drunk, half-naked people playing basketball in an empty arena that late at night? Doesn’t Madison Square Garden have security cameras? Finally, what in God’s name does them playing strip one-on-one have to do with anything?

It’s because of these kind of ridiculous lapses in judgment that “What’s Your Number?” earns a big fat zero on a scale of 1 to 10.

Also Available:

Boardwalk Empire: The Complete First Season – HBO may have done it first, but grade-A, quality television shows like “Justified,” “Sons of Anarchy,” “American Horror Story,” “Dexter,” and “The Walking Dead” show that there’s more to Great TV than just the Home Box Office. Of course, HBO continues to thrive post-“Sopranos” with top-notch fare like “True Blood,” “Game of Thrones” and, yes, “Boardwalk Empire.”

“Boardwalk Empire” bears the prestige of Martin Scorsese, but it doesn’t need the master’s seal of approval to shine. Michael Shannon and Steve Buscemi, who hasn’t been better since his heyday of “Reservoir Dogs” and “Trees Lounge,” just elevate this booze-soaked tale of Prohibition era backdoor dealings and double crosses during a power struggle in Atlantic City. This has it all – writing so sharp it can open a vein, sultry femme fatales, ample nudity and sex and a wash of blood that never fails to surprise.

Summer of Massacre – This may well be one of the most random slasher films you’ve ever seen. I could only make it through about 15 minutes, during which about 18 random people were slaughtered with a bevy of bad CGI and so-so practical effects. Story? What story. If you can piece it together, more power to you. Me – I had to tap out.

Sinners and Saints – A misguided action flick that makes the worst of decisions and champions style over substance. A wave of nostalgia for the heyday of Walter Hill-era 1980s actioners couldn’t salvage “Sinners and Saints” from being just what it is – average and unextraordinary.

An Idiot Abroad – Ricky Gervais doesnt just torment Hollywood celebrities at the Golden Globes, he torments his friends too, specifically Karl Pilkington, whom Gervais and Stephen Merchant, his co-creator on The Office and Extras, spend eight episodes subjecting Pilkington to all manner of uncomfortable, cringe-worthy and hysterical adventures around the globe.

Saving Private Perez – Spielberg, this ain’t.

Answer This – I’ll take ridiculous comedies for $200, Alex.

King Arthur and Medieval Britain – The real story behind the myth of one of history’s most iconic heroes.

Frozen World: The Story of the Ice Age – Here’s a tip: Stock up on matches.

Doctor Who: The Android Invasion – Tom Baker as Doctor Who in this 1984 story.

Doctor Who: Invasion of the Dinosaurs – And then there’s this tale from 1974 featuring the third Doctor, John Pertwee, in a story that will sound perfectly plausible to Whovians today - the Doctor and his companion must protect modern-day London from invading dinosaurs.

GI Joe: Series 2 Season 1 – The first season of the 1989 reboot of the popular GI Joe cartoon gets a proper DVD release.

Gurozuka – J-horror ghost story from 2005 mixes elements of “Scream” and “The Ring.”

Greece: Secrets of the Past – IMAX exploration of Greek history with breathtaking visuals.

Higher Ground – Vera Farmiga’s directorial debut examines what it means to be a devout Christian in today’s world.

1911 – It’s rare that a Jackie Chan film makes a critic’s Worst of the Year roundup, but the historical epic “1911” did just that.

There Be Dragons - This is not a fantasy feature about medieval knights battling mystical beasts. This is a Roland Joffe historical drama set primarily around the Spanish Civil War. Joffe has made some amazing films, from “The Mission” to “The Killing Fields.” He’s on a shortlist of directors, like Terrence Malick or the late Stanley Kubrick, who cinephiles can trust to deliver something topical, beautifully shot and worthy of discussion.

Primevil: Volume 3 – The BBC series about time travel and dinosaurs returns with its third season. Fans, like me, who tried this show two years ago but found it disjointed, too loose with plot lines and too reliant on CGI, need to take a second look.

The Scorpion King 3: Battle for Redemption – This franchise has gone from The Rock to Randy Couture to an unbilled actor, Victor Webster, playing Mathayus, the Scorpion King. For this third installment, all the marketing has leaned heavily on genre favorites Billy Zane and Ron Perlman.

Not To Be Overlooked:

Bloody Disgusting Selects: Chop (The Collective, 88 minutes, Unrated, DVD): Trent Haaga gave the world “Citizen Toxie: The Toxic Avenger IV.”

He also wrote the amazingly dark and twisted zombie masterpiece, “Deadgirl,” probably the best film about necrophilia ever made (Possibly the only film about necrophilia, I’m not sure, but either way it’s the best).

What that means is that Haaga, making his directorial debut, knows both campy and creepy, and he employs both magnificently in “Chop,” a pitch-black revenge thriller that saves its most delicious twists for the very end.

Haaga teams with screenwriter Adam Minarovich, an occasional actor best known to genre fans as the abusive Ed Peletier on last season’s “The Walking Dead,” to craft a beautifully structured thriller with just the right amount of gallow’s humor.

“Chop” is uneven at times, but what really holds the film together is the pair of leading performances by Will Keenan and Timothy Muskatell.

Keenan plays Lance, essentially the protagonist, who is kidnapped and tortured by The Stranger (Muskatell), a distraught man who claims that Lance committed some horrible act against him at some point in the past.

The deeper that “Chop” slides into unexpected territory, the better these two men act, really selling their characters, especially Muskatell, who does a brilliant job making the audience sympathize with him, even though we have no idea what injustice was previously done to him by Lance.

That unknown affront becomes the centerpiece of a wonderfully twisted series of reveals where Lance, rapidly losing digits and limbs, begins confessing to things that he has kept bottled up in his soul in hopes of finding out just what he did to The Stranger.

The big twist, of course, and one definitely not worth spoiling, is what exactly Lance did to The Stranger, and what happens once he remembers.

Haaga and Minarovich do a great job with pacing, keeping the viewer off-balance as to what fate might befall poor Lance, even as our opinion of Lance shifts with each reveal.

My only complaint, and it’s a quibble at best, is that the final reveal, the dark cherry at the heart of this bitter cordial, isn’t drawn out more. It happens quickly, almost too quickly, but then the impact of what you’ve just seen settles in and you find that the final moments of “Chop” are pretty damn terrifying in their simplicity.