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John Allman

If you’ve ever wandered the aisles at the video store or surfed the DVR pay-per-view options and seen a bunch of movies that you’ve never heard of, chances are John has watched them. Why? He loves movies. All kinds of movies. Good, bad, so-bad-they’re good, even the truly unwatchable ones. He mostly loves horror and science-fiction and drive-in exploitation movies that most upstanding model citizens wouldn’t dare watch. Then he writes up his thoughts so you can decide - watch, don’t watch or avoid at all costs. Sometimes he even gets to talk to the cool folks who make some of your favorite films.

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New Releases for Tuesday, Feb. 23, 2010

Posted Feb 23, 2010 by John Allman

Updated Feb 23, 2010 at 07:23 AM

Here’s a look at what’s new in stores and on video shelves this week:

The Box (Warner Bros., 115 minutes, PG-13, Blu-Ray and DVD): I love Richard Kelly. I think he’s a visionary and “Donnie Darko” ranks as a superb achievement, a stunning and original film.

Even his follow-up, “Southland Tales,” derided by some for its disjointed plot that kept fluxing and flexing across time, I still enjoyed if not completely understood. And even still, with “The Box,” as the critical drumbeat builds and more people call Kelly out as a fluke, a one-trick pony, who blew his load with “Darko,” I’m not willing to give up on him yet.

Because at its worst, “The Box” has more ideas at play than most films could hope to muster. It’s just that Kelly can’t quite close the loop on most of those ideas in order to make them make sense. And too often, he introduces ideas that have great promise, only to allow them to wither on the vine, unattended and neglected.

Here’s what’s wrong with “The Box”: Cameron Diaz’s accent, which is some weird approximation of what she thinks a northern Virginia accent should sound like. The distracting, almost irritating, score, which becomes its own character in the film and unfortunately does for Kelly’s attempt to build tension what Jar-Jar Binks did for Lucas’ attempt to diversify.

Here’s what’s interesting: Kelly has taken Richard Matheson’s short story, “Button, Button” and re-imagined it as an intergalactic test of mankind’s humanity. He follows the original “Twilight Zone” plot to a T, adding a few quirky subplots that previously weren’t there (a disability for Diaz’s character, a job at NASA for her husband, who works on the Mars Voyager project), before jumping off into space – literally.

There’s wormholes and alien possessions and a lot of mumbo jumbo that doesn’t make sense. The supporting characters seem to be split between those controlled by the Box and those fighting to undermine it, but it’s never fully fleshed out how or why some people know about the Box’s existence.

There’s a scene in a motel where one supporting character, who seemingly has been following the Box, has created a rudimentary map pointing to some possible gateway to a parallel world. It would be nice to know what that is all about, but we never do.

Such is the frustration of Kelly’s world. His movies post-“Darko” have been engaging and visually awesome, but he doesn’t seem to know how to properly convey all that he needs to about the story he’s trying to tell.

Cirque de Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant (Universal, 109 minutes, PG-13, Blu-Ray and DVD): This adaptation of the popular young adult series by Darren O’Shaughnessy suffers from the same plight as so many wannabe franchises these days. In a calculated attempt to be the next Harry Potter, Hollywood studio heads are pushing special effects over story and the results keep coming up short. “Cirque de Freak” has an engaging cast filled with well-known actors (John C. Reilly, Salma Hayek, Willem Dafoe, Patrick Fugit) but this origin tale of how teen-ager Darren Shan becomes a half-vampire assistant to Larten Crepsley and joins a centuries-old fight is too stuffed for its own good. There’s simply not enough time to create this alternate universe of mythical monsters and sideshow performers, properly introduce the main characters and sufficiently drum up any sense of urgency. It’s a shame too because Paul Weitz’s film looks great, especially on Blu-Ray, and there are several neat tricks that he employs to visualize how vampires and freaks morph and move and express their inner-abilities. This is a definite rental, but the series likely won’t ever get to unveil its next chapter (which is conveniently set up) unless it goes direct-to-DVD from here.

The Crazies (Blue Underground, 103 minutes, Unrated, Blu-Ray and DVD): George Romero’s 1973 contagion-on-the-loose thriller is an edgy, paranoid work of brilliance that was well ahead of its time. Romero’s best films always include an element of social commentary, and this early work benefits from the uneasy mood of the early 1970s, a time of public backlash toward government and the military. The people who live in the small community that falls prey to a military experiment let loose have no voice, no rights, no chance against an orchestrated government eradication. Soldiers in hazmat suits storm into homes, pulling people off couches against their will and shooting anyone who dares object. It’s frightening stuff, more scary in a way than the unknown disease that’s driving people mad. This is bold, in your face, independent cinema and it still packs a solid punch nearly 40 years later. Here’s hoping the upcoming 2010 remake is half as good.

Dead Snow (MPI, 91 minutes, Unrated, Blu-Ray and DVD): Unbelievably bloody, gleefully gory and all-around over-the-top, this Norwegian import plays like a subtitled “The Evil Dead” with Nazi zombies substituting for the angry spirits of the Necronomican. There haven’t been this many “Holy Crap!” moments in one horror film since the impressively creative kills of “Final Destination 2.” Most zombie movies take established genre clichés and build off them. “Dead Snow” doesn’t really bother with such conventional formalities, minus a very brief, but funny, explanation from the stereotypical “kooky old mountain guy” who shows up long enough to give an ominous warning to the group of friends staying in a snowy cabin far from civilization. Instead, “Dead Snow” just piles on the carnage, dispatching cast members without warning in gruesome style. It’s fast-moving and fun and worth multiple viewings.

The Informant! (Warner Bros., 108 minutes, R, Blu-Ray and DVD): Matt Damon packs on the pudge and Steven Soderbergh packs on the funny in this hyper-stylized look at corporate shenanigans and the whistleblowers who expose them.

Nurse Jackie: Season One (Lionsgate, 335 minutes, Unrated, Blu-Ray and DVD): The critically-acclaimed Showtime series starring Edie Falco as an NYC nurse juggling work, family and a possible addiction to prescription meds makes its home video debut with the first season’s 12 episodes.

Everybody’s Fine (Miramax, 100 minutes, PG-13, DVD): Robert De Niro takes the Jack Nicholson “About Schmidt” route, with considerably less successful results. Despite a solid supporting cast (Drew Barrymore, Sam Rockwell and Kate “so hot” Beckinsale), this would-be family feel-good flick never finds its footing or voice.

The Damned United (Sony, 98 minutes, R, Blu-Ray and DVD): European football (er, soccer) fuels this funny narrative about the larger-than-life personalities that try to guide the Leeds United squad to victory.

The End of the Line (New Video Group, 85 minutes, Unrated, DVD): A compelling documentary about the ecological impact that commercial fishing is having on the world’s oceans. Mandatory viewing for anyone concerned about our planet.

Wrong Side of Town (Lionsgate, 104 minutes, R, DVD and Blu-Ray): The latest WWE action vehicle stars Dave Bautista, Rob Van Dam and more in a revenge thriller gone wrong. There’s no reason to even think about the plot. You’re renting this puppy because you love professional wrestling and you love fight movies and you don’t care that most of these guys are more wooden than Kalija when it comes to acting ability.

FlashForward - Season One, Part One (Buena Vista, 430 minutes, Unrated, DVD): The first 10 episodes of David Goyer’s trippy, time-bending series on ABC, “FlashForward,” are collected together to give fans and curiosity seekers a chance to catch up before the March return of the second half of the first season. This is good TV, smart and compelling, with strong characters, solid acting and enough questions getting answered that you won’t feel completely lost.

Beyond Sherwood Forest (Anchor Bay, 93 minutes, Unrated, DVD): It’s Nottingham and Sherwood Forest and Robin Hood - but with dragons, supernatural threats and all the bad, low-budget CGI you can stand.