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John Allman

If you’ve ever wandered the aisles at the video store or surfed the DVR pay-per-view options and seen a bunch of movies that you’ve never heard of, chances are John has watched them. Why? He loves movies. All kinds of movies. Good, bad, so-bad-they’re good, even the truly unwatchable ones. He mostly loves horror and science-fiction and drive-in exploitation movies that most upstanding model citizens wouldn’t dare watch. Then he writes up his thoughts so you can decide - watch, don’t watch or avoid at all costs. Sometimes he even gets to talk to the cool folks who make some of your favorite films.

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John Allman

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New Releases for Tuesday, Aug. 24, 2010

Posted Aug 30, 2010 by John Allman

Updated Aug 30, 2010 at 05:32 AM

What’s new in stores and on video shelves this week:

Lost: The Complete Sixth and Final Season
Genre: TV/Sci-Fi/Action
Created by: J.J. Abrams, Jeffrey Lieber and Damon Lindelof
Run time: 714 minutes
Rating: Unrated
Format: Blu-Ray

The Lowdown: I don’t care if you weren’t appropriately wowed by the finale. I don’t care if Damon and Carlton didn’t answer every question you ever had about polar bears, Tunisia, what was special about Walt and who built the statue. I don’t care if you thought they were all dead all along, because they weren’t.

The sixth and final season of “Lost” may not have been everything to everyone that they wanted, but damn if it wasn’t a fine last act to TV’s greatest show. Ever.

The writers and creative team ended it how they wanted. They took a wild gamble and introduced a storytelling device, the flash sideways, that polarized fans. They showed true care in trying to tie up many loose ends with characters that they clearly loved as much as every one of us who consider ourselves true fans.

And you know what, I’m OK with that. “Lost” was never about the finale, it was about the journey. It was about a show that didn’t dumb itself down in order to entertain. It was about giving viewers so many meaty issues to chew on that the overall meal would always be remembered as the best they ever had, even if they never could quite figure out that last little ingredient that made the special seasoning so special.

Never in the history of television has a fictional show probed such deep and challenging waters as theology, psychology, physics, personal responsibility, love, loss and parental relationships in such a thought-provoking, intelligent way.

I will always remember “Lost” not for its final season, but for the experience over six years that captivated me, forced me to want to seek out obscure literature and dust off textbooks to try to understand subtle hints and helped me renew my faith in a medium that has long existed like candy for the eyes but corrosive acid for the brain.

In the end, it’s not about the final episode, or even the final episodes. It’s about what you gained individually, about your own personal theories, about how you reconciled the questions that “Lost” opened your own two eyes to.

Lots of people can point to the final episode of “St. Elsewhere” and say ‘Snow globe,” or the finale of “Newhart” and say ‘It was all a dream,’ but how many of those people remember more than a handful, if that many, of specific moments from those shows?

“Lost” gave us more than just an iconic ending, it gave us six years of iconic moments from that two-hour premiere that hooked us solid to The Hatch to The Others to The Constant to “We have to go back, Kate” to “Not Penny’s Boat” to Jeremy Bentham and more. So many amazing episodes, each with its own special resonance, that to try and remember “Lost” for one season or one moment is simply short-sighted.

This is and was the best that TV can do, and I only pray we have another show this good someday. Thank you “Lost.” I’m so glad I found you, and stuck with you, for six wonderful years.

The Stuff You Care About:
Hot chicks – Yes.
Nudity – No.
Gore – Minor.
Drug use – No.
Bad Guys/Killers – MIB, that’s Man in Black to you.
Buy/Rent – Buy it.
Blu-Ray Bonus Features – Exclusive: BD-Live LOST University: Master’s Program (allowing fans to learn more about the island, its story and the people brought there); SeasonPlay. Additional: “The New Man in Charge,” a 12-minute addendum to the series finale featuring Hurley and Ben’s first actions as the new Jacob and Richard, respectively; “The END: Crafting A Final Season” documentary; “A Hero’s Journey” featurette; “See You in Another Life, Brotha” featurette on the flash-sideways world; “LOST on Location” behind the scenes footage and interviews; LOST in 8:15; Bloopers, deleted scenes, audio commentaries.

The Square (Sony, 106 minutes, R, Blu-Ray): It’s an edgy film indeed that asks you to sympathize with a cheating husband who gets swept up into a scheme to rob the criminal miscreant husband of his lover in order to escape his dull life with a good woman who loves him. It’s an even edgier film that asks you to root for him to escape unscathed after the plan goes to Hell, someone gets killed and he gets away with one crime only to face an even worse fate. Australian director Nash Edgerton’s debut may feel familiar at parts, but it’s a deep, dark, dreary journey to the blackest pit of human nature. Thankfully, his lead, David Roberts, as caddish philanderer Raymond Yale, gives a startlingly raw performance of a man whose life unravels through his fingers despite his every effort to hold on to the rails. Mesmerizing, unflinching and impressive. A must see for fans of classic noir.

Abandoned (Anchor Bay, 88 minutes, PG-13, Blu-Ray): What is it about hospitals that creeps us out so much? And why is it that very few thrillers, or horror movies, for that matter, set inside hospitals manage to be very good? And “Abandoned” is definitely not very good, which is unfortunate, as it serves as Brittany Murphy’s last headlining role before her sudden death in 2009. Murphy doesn’t look very good at all in this final role. She appears gaunt and, at times, unrecognizable from the bubbly, curvy babe who first broke onto the scene in “Clueless.” Murphy actually looked better playing a junkie in “Spun” than she does here. And the film itself, which also features Direct-to-DVD Dean Cain and a slumming Mimi Rogers (still hot after all these years), is a lurching, plodding exercise in not-very-frantic paranoia that culminates with a ridiculous twist and some very uninspired action.

Dorian Gray (E1, 112 minutes, R, DVD): I have to confess, I’m not big on period pieces. I enjoyed the recent update of “The Wolfman,” and I wasn’t fazed by its Victorian London setting, but typically it’s just not my bag. “Dorian Gray,” the latest update of Oscar Wilde’s classic tale, is a period piece. It’s also a very familiar story. In order to try to distinguish itself, the 2010 version heaps on the hotness, opting for the distractive nature of gratuitous guy-on-girl and guy-on-guy action to keep people from thinking too much about its pedestrian approach to the material. And honestly, this isn’t a movie that you’re going to rush out and recommend to your friends. But it’s also not a film that you would adamantly object to them renting on a slow weeknight. The ‘horror’ elements are kept to a minimum, the CGI doesn’t come in until the last 15 minutes, and it’s pretty weak, and the overall emotional arc of the proceeding gets muddied up pretty good by a rather bland lead turn. Thankfully, Colin Firth is on hand, surprisingly, I must say, to class up the picture with a strong supporting part that gives the material much more respect than it deserves.

Addicted to Her Love (E1, 98 minutes, R, DVD): I’m not sure this lives up to its DVD box billing as “Fast Times at Ridgemont High meets Kids,” as it’s neither funny enough to rival “Ridgemont” or shocking enough to come close to the drugs and casual sex of “Kids,” but that’s OK. “Addicted to Her Love” has one really good thing going for it, the smoking hot Lizzy Caplan, who shines whenever the camera fixates on her devilish eyes and sultry pout. The problem with coming-of-age stories these days, particularly those set in upper-crust society with silver spoon debutantes who grow up driving high-end luxury cars and who spend more time with servants than parents, is that there is very little left that could be totally shocking in a film like this other than the four leads going on a drug-fueled killing spree and having hardcore sex in public amid a litter of victims. Instead, what you get is the requisite ‘get high, get it on, get rejected, get wasted, get enlightened’ teen angst.

Time Bandits (Image, 116 minutes, PG, Blu-Ray): Why doesn’t Terry Gilliam make movies like this anymore? For that matter, why don’t other directors make movies like this anymore? “Time Bandits” is a wholly original tale of time-surfing little people who hop-scotch through history, stealing what they can, avoiding certain death at every turn and coming face to face with gods, monsters and Napoleon. The humor is entirely British, but Gilliam’s 1981 breakout feature has aged well and still remains a wonderfully irreverent experience with creative special effects and that subversive Monty Pythonesque view of the world.

The Simpsons: The Thirteenth Season (Fox, 491 minutes, Unrated, Blu-Ray): All 22 episodes of the 13th season are included with audio commentary on every episode, deleted scenes, a sketch gallery and more.

Machine Gun McCain (Blue Underground, 96 minutes, Unrated, Blu-Ray): John Cassevetes stars as Hank McCain, a convicted armed robber who goes on a trail of bloody vengeance, in this obscure 1969 Italian gangster flick. Britt Ekland, Gena Rowlands and Peter Faulk co-star in this former Official Selection at the Cannes Film Festival.

Red vs Blue: Recreation Season 7 (New Video, 101 minutes, Unrated, DVD): Inspired by the video game sensation “Halo,” this continuation of the hit Internet series finds the Reds and Blues going deep underground to solve a mystery that threatens their very existence in “Recreation: Season 7.”

Private (New Video, 100 minutes, Unrated, DVD): Based on the book series by Kate Brian, this upper-crust, high society girls academy thriller comes from one of the executive producers of “Gossip Girl” and “The Vampire Diaries.” You’ve been warned.

The Age of Stupid (Docurama Films, 89 minutes, Unrated, DVD): Pete “I’m in every movie” Postlethwaite stars in this very subversive documentary chronicling the many ways that societies around the world are bringing about our own downfall. Required viewing for anyone who can hogtie a Republican to a chair and force their eyes open for nearly 90 minutes. Frying pan to beat some sense into them not included.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles Forever (Paramount, 73 minutes, Unrated, DVD): This animated Nickelodeon movie finds the four turtles, Raphael, Michelangelo, Leonardo and Donatello, crossing time and space to meet up with their alternate selves, and having to combat longtime arch rivals like the Foot Soldiers, BeBop and Rocksteady.

The Back-up Plan (Sony, 104 minutes, PG-13, Blu-Ray): Appropriately titled, as J-Lo of late has needed another gig besides singing, this predictable Rom-Com finds Jenny from the Block Lopez with a ticking biological clock and a need to breed. In one of those ‘Only in the Movies’ moments, she meets Mr. Right minutes after undergoing in vitro fertilization and comic mayhem ensues. Not really. Is anyone really renting or buying these movies anymore? If so, stop. For the love of God, please stop.

Gossip Girl: The Complete Third Season (Warner Bros., 930 minutes, Unrated, DVD): The best thing about “Gossip Girl,” the hit CW show about privileged teen-agers in New York City, was Taylor Momsen’s Jenny Humphrey. Now that she has bid the show adieu and launched a promising music career as the half-naked front woman of The Pretty Reckless, those precocious spoiled rich kids from the Upper East Side just got a lot less interesting. All 22 episodes of Season Three are contained on this five-disc boxed set.

Pawn Stars (New Video, 704 minutes, Unrated, DVD): The History Channel’s unlikely hit series “Pawn Stars” brings all 32 episodes of its second season set inside the Las Vegas, family-owned pawn shop to DVD. Who knew the once-seedy world of pawn stores could seem so appealing?

City Island (Anchor Bay, 104 minutes, PG-13, Blu-Ray): Andy Garcia returns to leading man status, and we welcome him back. It’s been far too long since “Things to Do in Denver When You’re Dead,” or maybe I’m still the only person who liked that flick. Here he stars as a corrections officer with the acting itch and he’s surrounded by a killer supporting cast including Julianna Marguiles and Alan Arkin.

$5 A Day (Image, 98 minutes, PG-13, Blu-Ray): Pop quiz – what do the names Christopher Walken, Sharon Stone and Amanda Peet do for you? They should conjure memories of more memorable films than “$5 A Day,” a direct-to-DVD (and it features Dean Cain, go figure) dramedy about a con-man with a heart of gold (are there any other kinds?) who gets diagnosed with a terminal illness (I’m not giving anything away, it says so on the box art) and tries to reconnect with his estranged son. I’m pretty sure any movie that has a “Sweet ‘N Low Coupon Inside” sticker should be avoided.