Welcome to TBO.com. Skip directly to: our Keyword Search, Section Navigation, Content.

TBO.com - TBO is Tampa Bay Online

TBO.com - Tampa Bay Online

John Allman

If you’ve ever wandered the aisles at the video store or surfed the DVR pay-per-view options and seen a bunch of movies that you’ve never heard of, chances are John has watched them. Why? He loves movies. All kinds of movies. Good, bad, so-bad-they’re good, even the truly unwatchable ones. He mostly loves horror and science-fiction and drive-in exploitation movies that most upstanding model citizens wouldn’t dare watch. Then he writes up his thoughts so you can decide - watch, don’t watch or avoid at all costs. Sometimes he even gets to talk to the cool folks who make some of your favorite films.

Blood, Violence and Babes
John Allman

Most Recent Entries

Monthly Archives

New Releases for Tuesday, Aug. 17, 2010

Posted Aug 20, 2010 by John Allman

Updated Aug 20, 2010 at 07:18 AM

What’s new in stores and on video shelves this week:

Burning Bright
Genre: Horror/Thriller
Directed by: Carlos Brooks
Run time: 86 minutes
Rating: PG-13
Format: DVD

The Lowdown: Surprisingly fresh, seriously intense and undeniably well-made, “Burning Bright” answers that age-old question of “What would you do if you woke up and a Bengal tiger was running loose inside your home?”

Never asked yourself that question?

Well, you should have. One must be prepared for any and every worst-case scenario imaginable, and being boarded up inside a house as a hurricane rages outside and a hungry, ginormous tiger is inside, looking for its next meal , as you scramble to save your own butt and protect your baby autistic brother is definitely a worst-case scenario.

Director Carlos Brooks wisely eschews CGI for the most part and employs a real tiger, which adds immensely to the intense, uncomfortable, holy crap terror that “Burning Bright” inspires. There were only one or two scenes where I was sure CGI had been inserted and those were the up-close scenes of star Briana Evigan within a nose hair of the big cat.

This is a very well-made, enjoyable popcorn flick – and one of the better entries in the burgeoning “What if…” genre that seems to have been inspired by filmmakers sitting around and wondering, “What if you were stranded in the middle of [insert plot contrivance here].”

Other offerings in this area would include “Open Water,” the what if you were left at sea by a diving boat?; “Frozen,” the what if you were left high above the ground on a ski lift for a week in the freezing cold; and, to get real old-school, “Miracle Mile,” the Anthony Edwards-starring, what if you inadvertently learned a nuclear war was about to start in three hours, feel-good flick of 1988.

Definitely check it out. It’s a solid rental, and a definite purchase if you find it on sale at Best Buy or some other retail store.

The Stuff You Care About:
Hot chicks – Briana Evigan, genre hottie (between this and Sorority Row)
Nudity – No.
Gore – Minimal.
Drug use – No.
Bad Guys/Killers – Tough call. Is the tiger evil for doing what it does naturally, or is the human who lets the tiger loose more evil for wanting it to do the unthinkable.
Buy/Rent – Buy it.

Ca$h (Lionsgate, 108 minutes, R, DVD): So this is the guy who is going to be Thor? If so, then the jury is still out.

Chris Hemsworth does OK in this straight-to-DVD thriller, a variation of the ‘wrong guy, wrong place, wrong time’ genre, but he doesn’t wow. He’s basically a more articulate, less wooden Channing Tatum, and trust me, that’s actually a really good thing. Hemsworth plays a blue-collar husband (you know he’s blue-collar because his name is printed on his shirt in one of those little mechanic’s patches) who is (un)fortunate enough to be driving below an overpass when Sean Bean throws a suitcase of money out of his moving getaway van.

Because this is a movie, Bean must be able to at least stop long enough to see the type of car that Hemsworth is driving. And, this being a movie, Bean has a twin brother that he is able to contact overseas, who flies to the U.S. to locate the missing suitcase and split the cash with his bro. And, this being a movie, even though the action takes place in Chicago, twin bro Bean is able to quickly locate the state depository for new car titles, identify which records would signify a cash payment (the locked up bro Bean tells his twin bro Bean that he bets his left shoe whoever found the suitcase will immediately rush out and buy a brand new car with cash) and, lo and behold, Hemsworth does just that.

“Ca$h” isn’t awful. It isn’t particularly original. It’s a perfectly serviceable mid-budget chase flick. The reason to rent it is to see Hemsworth in an early role before next year’s big budget “Thor” comes out and he’s the next new big thing.

Dark and Stormy Night and The Lost Skeleton Returns Again (Shout! Factory, 93 and 95 minutes, Unrated, DVD): Director Larry Blamire remembers those ridiculously addictive serial adventures that were a staple of Saturday afternoon TV way back when (For anyone around 40, like me, that would be the 1950s, 60s and early 70s). He faithfully recreates the campy menace and fun of the jungle genre and spooky haunted house genre.

“Dark and Stormy” melds William Castle with Abbott and Costello, placing a bunch of people in a big house to hear the reading of a will. One of them may be a psychotic killer as the attendees start getting picked off one by one.

“Lost Skeleton” is a sequel to Blamire’s earlier “The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra,” and it’s a riot as a group of creeps, crooks and intrepid scientists and explorers stumble upon a forgotten civilization, its horrific (and hysterical) tribal practices and more.

Dexter: The Complete Fourth Season (Paramount, 632 minutes, Unrated, Blu-Ray): I’m not down with this whole “America’s favorite serial killer” label that Showtime has given to Dexter, the Miami-Dade police forensic blood expert who just happens to be an avenging angel of death by night. But I am down with this series, which just keeps getting better. Every season seems to improve on the former, and Season 4 is no exception, which is a pretty neat feat considering the stellar casting last year of John Lithgow and Jimmy Smits in key roles. “Dexter” remains Michael C. Hall’s show, though, and he commands the screen with his chilly, eerie calm. It’s nearly impossible to write about Season Four without ruining too much, so take this for what it’s worth: Go buy all four seasons now. Right now. Then watch them. You won’t be disappointed.

Cougar Town: The Complete First Season(Disney, 552 minutes, Unrated, DVD): Courtney Cox returns to TV – wait a minute, did she ever really leave? Wasn’t she on that show “Dirt” on the FX network? Anyway, Cox’s post-“Friends” resurgence continues with this hit comedy about the lusty adventures of a pack of Florida lotharios and lolitas who have entered early-middle-age without grace or maturity. They’re like wild animals, and that’s a good thing. The cast is excellent, the laughs are genuine and the hotness factor is off the charts. 40 is the new 30. Now everybody go get naked and have fun. Go on. Go.

The Last Song (Disney, 107 minutes, PG, Blu-Ray): Miley Cyrus stretches beyond Hannah Montana in this Nicholas Sparks-penned weeper. Does this man never smile? Is he haunted daily by visions of doom? Could this all be the result of some stupid girl in junior high who broke his heart and forced Sparks to pelt us with his heart-wrenching tales of love gone bad? Damn you, Nicholas Sparks, damn you and your cold, cold heart.

Furry Vengeance (Summit, 92 minutes, PG, Blu-Ray): Brendan “I never met a green screen I didn’t like” Fraser continues to get work as the go-to guy for ridiculous CGI films. Here, he plays a developer who upsets the animal kingdom when he tries to build a new housing development. Hilarity ensues. (I’m kidding. Don’t rent this crap. If you do, they will just make more.)

Clone Hunter (Life Size, 86 minutes, Unrated, DVD): A good old throwback to the low-budget, but high-aspiration, Drive-In flicks of yesterday, “Clone Hunter” wants to be as cheesy good as, say, Roger Corman’s “Battle Beyond the Stars.” It’s a tough goal to make sometimes, surprisingly. Really good low-budget films, especially in the sci-fi genre, have to have something to distinguish them. You need ridiculous sets, interesting props or at least a couple of kooky, crazy aliens in kind of cool latex masks running around. At a minimum, you have to have some memorably cheesy dialogue. “Clone Hunter” looks the part, but plays its tale of a rogue mercenary hunting clones too seriously. The effects are good, but not so good that you’re tricked into thinking this is a big-budget affair. There aren’t enough aliens or gun fights. In fact, there’s a whole lot of talking, maybe too much. But “Clone Hunter” is a solid effort from director Andrew Bellware, and it makes you want to see what he and his creative team might come up with next.

Wolverine and the X-Men: Final Crisis Trilogy (Lionsgate, 68 minutes, Unrated, DVD): The popular Nicktoons series continues with a three-part season finale that has the mutants scrambling to, what else, save the earth from annihilation. Jean Grey has been captured. Magneto and Mystique have launched the Sentinels. And Professor X is in the future, helping Master Mold track down all mutants for execution. That’s right kids, there’s a lot going on. Pay attention.

The Good, the Bad, the Weird (MPI/IFC Films, 130 minutes, R, DVD): The far east meets the old-school west in this action-packed mash-up of classic westerns and high-kicking kung fu. This South Korean import is reportedly one of the most expensive films made in its home country, and the action and special effects definitely look it.

Ugly Betty: The Complete Fourth and Final Season (Disney, 860 minutes, Unrated, DVD): Say goodbye to your little friend. Betty is gone, kaput, whisked off the air after an improbably four- year run that coined catchphrases, sparked fan bases and made geeky sexy again.

Orlando (Sony, 93 minutes, PG-13, DVD): I’m sorry, but Tilda Swinton is kooky, weird, androgynous and hot. She has a husband at home and a younger lover who travels with her. She classes up any movie she appears in. And Billy Zane – if there was justice in Hollywood, he would have been a megastar based on his karmic cool, his F-it attitude and his dashing good looks. Together, in this difficult-to-describe, easier to just watch, transgendered historical fantasy/drama, they just set the screen on fire.

Cemetery Junction (Sony, 95 minutes, R, Blu-Ray): Ricky Gervais continues his quiet takeover of America with this coming-of-age tale set in 1970s Britain. Seriously, the guy is everywhere. He created “The Office.” He hosts award shows. He’s had, like, three different series on HBO.

Skellig the Owl Man (Image, 104 minutes, Unrated, Blu-Ray): Tim Roth, better known as Pumpkin, aka Ringo, aka Ted the Bellhop, stars in this British import, a Sky1 television movie based on an award-winning children’s novel written by David Almond. As Skellig, the title character, Roth gets to nurture kids, flap his wings and give life to a popular British character. Yeah, it didn’t excite me either.