‘Idol’ getting dull: Blame the judges. The guys stink, too!

Posted Feb 25, 2010 by Walt Belcher

Updated Mar 5, 2010 at 10:08 AM

While watching “American Idol” last night it became painfully obvious that the show is going to tank like the Titanic when Simon Cowell leaves.

Ellen DeGeneres was supposed to bring wit and charm to the panel. But Ellen, Randy Jackson and Kara DiGuardo are like the three monkeys of See No Evil, Hear No Evil and Speak No Evil.

They are all the same. They are all too kind. Only Simon is interesting and because the others are so nice he has had to turn up the nasty. Paula Abdul is missed because without her Simon has no one to play off.

It was painful to watch the judges’ reviews last night. Ellen and Kara cut the wannanes a lot of slack. Ellen was even kind to the dreadful John Park, who botched “God Bless the Child,” comparing him to an unripened banana. He was more like a rotten banana.

And as for the rest of the men who competed last night, they had the same jitters as the women.

St. Petersburg native Michael Lynche was good, but he may have gone overboard on Maroon 5’s “This Love.”

“You brought the energy up,” said Randy. But Simon cut him down, saying that Lynche lacked a distinctive personality.

Todrick Hall was all over the map while showboating on “Since U Been Gone.” He may be in trouble.

Tyler Grady, who reminds some people of Jim Morrison, proved he is no Jim Morrison when he attempted “American Woman.”

Simon praised Lee Dewyze’s performance of Snow Patrol’s “Chasing Cars,” calling it the best of the night.

Casey James also got kind words from Simon for his version of Bryan Adams’s “Heaven.” Kara gushed over him: “You are eye candy, but you’re also ear candy.” Simon called her a cougar. Ha.

Ellen called Tim Urban “adorable” even though he can’t sing. He was awful on OneRepublic’s “Apologize.” Simon said Urban, who was a last-minute replacement, was not worthy to be in the top 24.

The judges praised skinny kid Aaron Kelly, 16, for having a “big voice” on Rascal Flatts’ “Here Comes Goodbye,” but Simon said he lacked star power and confidence.

Also showing potential was Andrew Garcia, who did an acoustic cover of “Sugar, We’re Going Down.”

The candidate most likely to be voted off tonight is Alex Lambert, who stumbled over “What a Wonderful World.”

“I don’t know who was happier for that to end—you or me,” Simon said. “That was the most uncomfortable performance of the night.”