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John Allman

If you’ve ever wandered the aisles at the video store or surfed the DVR pay-per-view options and seen a bunch of movies that you’ve never heard of, chances are John has watched them. Why? He loves movies. All kinds of movies. Good, bad, so-bad-they’re good, even the truly unwatchable ones. He mostly loves horror and science-fiction and drive-in exploitation movies that most upstanding model citizens wouldn’t dare watch. Then he writes up his thoughts so you can decide - watch, don’t watch or avoid at all costs. Sometimes he even gets to talk to the cool folks who make some of your favorite films.

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John Allman

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Frat Party

Posted Dec 29, 2009 by John Allman

Updated Dec 29, 2009 at 08:24 PM

Frat Party
Genre: Comedy
Directed by: Robert Bennett
Run time: 85 minutes
Rating: Unrated
Format: DVD

The Lowdown: Lots of boobs? Check.

Lots of beer? Check.

Zany sexual misadventures? Check.

“Frat Party,” a low-budget “Spring Break”-style wannabe, really, really wants to be over-the-top in ways that movies like “Bachelor Party,” “Road Trip,” even “The Hangover,” did so much better in their respective heydays.

But it just doesn’t pass the basic, low-hanging bar for such flicks: It’s not funny, titillating or gross-out outrageous.

The story of Duffy, the clichéd smug college stud, and his hot foreign heiress flame Adriana, revolves around the last fraternity blow-out party of his college career. Adriana’s parents don’t like Duffy, and they have agreed to his marrying their daughter, but only if he does so the day after graduation.

No exceptions. Yeah, right.

Duffy pleads to attend his final party, Adriana reluctantly agrees and madcap zaniness should ensue. It doesn’t.

What you get is a slapdash hodgepodge of silly sexual set pieces (the Asian massage parlor, the revenge-seeking dominatrix, the “bachelor gift” porn star) that consistently fall flat.

Throw in a stupid subplot that involves Adriana’s former beau and her sister, who plan a clandestine rendezvous, and you realize that the filmmakers don’t inhabit reality.

No one you know behaves this way.

When Jesse Jane, the Digital Underground contract porn star, is the best actor on the screen, you’ve got problems.

The biggest problem with “Frat Party” is that it just won’t end. Instead, there is one false conclusion after another, where people treat each other so poorly that you wonder why they would be a desirable life partner at all.

This is definitely a party to avoid.

The Stuff You Care About:
Hot chicks – The insanely hot Jesse Jane.
Nudity – See above.
Gore – No.
Drug use – No.
Bad Guys/Killers – The upper-crust family who doesn’t think their daughter deserves a beer-drinking schlub.
Buy/Rent – Neither.
Release Date – Dec. 1, 2009