DVD Review: 2012

Posted Mar 4, 2010 by Kevin Walker

Updated Mar 4, 2010 at 05:14 PM

2012
Director: Roland Emmerich (“10,000 BC,” “The Day After Tomorrow”)
Stars: John Cusack, Amanda Peet, Danny Glover, Tom McCarthy, Oliver Platt, Woody Harrelson, Thandie Newton
The plot: In a confirmation of a conspiracy theory currently in vogue, scientists discover that the world as we know it will end on Dec. 21, 2012 – the date the Mayan calendar ends. The destruction will involve shifting of land masses and incredible temperatures at the Earth’s core. As the U.S. president (Glover) works with other world leaders to build arks that will save some of humanity, a divorced father (Cusack) learns of the coming doom from a conspiracy nut (Harrelson), which sets off a race against time as he tries to save his ex-wife (Peet), her new boyfriend (McCarthy) and his kids. Meanwhile, a scientist (Chiwetel Ejiofor, always good) battles against a cynical government official (Platt) to get more people into the arks.
Bottom line:  Long plot summary, eh? And that’s not even close to all of it. I left out the scientist’s father, the Russian family, the Buddists and the bit with the dog (I’m not making this up). Now I could break out snarky phrases from the critics’ tool box about the ridiculous plot and the phone-it-in acting. I’m not going to do that and here’s why: this is a Roland Emmerich movie. He directed “The Day After Tomorrow” and “Godzilla,” for Pete’s sake. If you rent or buy this DVD or Blu-ray expecting anything more than some incredibly complex CGI shots and a lot of things blowing up, you’re sadly deluded, friend.
This is a disaster flick in the mode of 1970s disaster flicks — it doesn’t make a lick of sense, but you enjoy the special effects and keep watching to see who lives and dies. In this sense, Emmerich delivers. In all other ways, it is big, dumb and loud. Don’t pretend you didn’t know that going in.
By the way, here’s what gets destroyed: Los Angeles, Las Vegas, Yellowstone National Forest, Washington D.C., Vatican City, Hawaii, the Himalayan mountains. I’m probably forgetting some others. It’s a lot, I assure you. I’d suggest watching this one on Blu-ray.
Extras: A documentary on the effects, an alternate ending that is so bad that it will make what you laughed at in the film suddenly seem not so bad.
Quote: “You’re telling me the North Pole is now somewhere in Wisconsin?”
158 minutes (PG-13; intense disaster sequences and some profanity)