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In perhaps the most lame-brained decision by the Devil Rays organization since Ben Grieve, the Devil Rays are expected to announce that they will officially drop the “Devil” from their name and will now be known as just the “Rays”.
In an attempt to further alienate their younger fan base and eliminate the only element of cool from the franchise, the Devil Rays decided that a new corporate image needed to be forged. Beginning with the 2008 season, the only traces of Satan will be confined to the Devil Rays farm system.
The decision to drop the satanic prefix stems from pressure from the religious Christian right - the same religious right who has raged against such evils of humanity as video games, teletubbies and Flava Flav – who felt that the old moniker was offensive and may encourage young children to join Sadist cults. This marks the second major victory for Christians after their incessant nagging also helped to put an end to the wildly popular “Beelzebub Bobblehead Night” promotion.
This move is expected to have a significant impact on the bay area’s gothic baseball fan population.
“I like to sit in the bleachers and drink goat’s blood,” said one fan who preferred to remain anonymous. “Now I’m going to have to root for the Yankees again.”
The new “Rays” logo
Accompanying the name change, the Devil Rays will be unveiling a new logo design and uniforms (shown above). The new “ray of sunshine” design tested well with fans over the age of 90 and research groups found that the design reflects the “totally unintimidating, completely banal” image that the team has been attempting to cultivate within the organization. This process began last year with the team’s bullpen. The royal blue and yellow color scheme with magenta trim further enhance the team’s harmless and uncontroversial image.
The new “Rays” uniforms
The Devil Rays are also expected to announce that their mascot Raymond will be replaced by the Care Bear’s Funshine Bear prior to Spring Training.
More Coverage:
The 10 Best Logos In Sports
Forum: New Look Rays
