John Allman

If you’ve ever wandered the aisles at the video store or surfed the DVR pay-per-view options and seen a bunch of movies that you’ve never heard of, chances are John has watched them. Why? He loves movies. All kinds of movies. Good, bad, so-bad-they’re good, even the truly unwatchable ones. He mostly loves horror and science-fiction and drive-in exploitation movies that most upstanding model citizens wouldn’t dare watch. Then he writes up his thoughts so you can decide - watch, don’t watch or avoid at all costs. Sometimes he even gets to talk to the cool folks who make some of your favorite films.

 Blood, Violence and Babes
 John Allman

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Deep in the Valley

Posted Feb 7, 2010 by John Allman

Updated Feb 7, 2010 at 05:26 PM

Deep in the Valley
Genre: Sex Comedy
Directed by: Christian Forte
Run time: 96 minutes
Rating: Unrated
Format: DVD

The Lowdown: Essentially, “Bill and Ted go to Porno Land,” this low-budget first-time feature from director Christian Forte wants to be a titillating sex farce.

“Deep in the Valley” tells the story of Carl and Lester. Carl is engaged to a shrill control freak. Lester is a drunk who has spent thousands on his porno collection. When Lester wins a peepshow booth from his favorite XXX director, the two friends are magically transported to an alternate reality where the bad acting, impromptu casual sex and frequently nude shenanigans of porn movies is a 24-hour-a-day phenomenon.

The wooden acting and groan-worthy double-entendres of every adult movie you’ve ever seen are not exactly a deep well from which to mine humor, but Forte and company make a run at it anyway.

The results are less than hysterical.

Even with abundant boobs, the proceedings grow tiresome quickly.

There are several cameos of note, if only because they show how far some celebrities have fallen (or progressed) – Scott Caan, for one, the son of James Caan, and Denise Richrds. Even Kim Kardashian and Tracy Morgan show up.

It’s not enough to hold you interest. Nor is the “naked commentary” a worthwhile special feature. It’s basically a topless actress making juvenile jokes in front of the screen.

The Stuff You Care About:

Hot chicks – Yes.
Nudity – Gratuitous.
Gore – No.
Drug use – No.
Bad Guys/Killers – None.
Buy/Rent – Neither
Release Date – Jan. 19, 2010