Dancing with the Stars: The Results—- 04.17.07

Posted Apr 18, 2007 by Chris Kuhn

Updated Apr 18, 2007 at 06:59 AM

The evening starts with a recap of last night’s ballroom action but tonight is about results on Dancing with the Stars: The Results (ABC/Tuesdays). Oh, and it’s about lots and lots of performances to kill the remaining 55 minutes of the show.

Olympic speedskater Apolo Ohno and partner extraordinaire Julianne Houghs did a samba that stole the show last night, so not surprisingly, the judges request an encore and it is absolutely dazzling once again. Len is a bit off most of the time but last time, he was right on the money. This dance has everything going for it – the music, choreography and their interpretation. Everything just works together beautifully.

After a popping swing performance from the show’s talented dance partners, we get to hear what last night’s studio audience thought about the dancers. They agreed with me about the best and the worst, one even calling retired hoops giant Clyde Drexler “Frankenstein” on the dancefloor. But it’s time to find out a few couples who are safe and we learn that boxer Laila Ali and partner Maks and actor John Ratzenberger and Edyta are safe! Wow…I really thought John was vulnerable, but I’m happy about that…as long as Clyde or Billy Ray go home. If anyone else does, it will not be right.

With a few exceptions this season (like Josh Brogan…sigh), I usually dread the live performances on results night, often fast-forwarding right through them. Tonight, however, I can’t wait to see former Dancing competitor, actress Lisa Rinna do a number from “Chicago” as she’s pegged to be the next Roxy opposite hubby, actor Harry Hamlin in her Broadway debut. She does a nice job. Agreed, she’s not the best singer in the world, but she has an energy and natural sultriness about her that seems well-suited for the role and she’s a wonderful dancer. She was great during her season, awesome on the tour and now is tackling new turf. Good for her!

Sometimes funnyman Jimmy Kimmel and his partner in drag, security guard Guillermo are going to show us the basics of swing. But in a disturbing fall-out, Jimmy is abandoned by his best gal – er, dude – who runs into the arms of singer Joey Fatone in the ladies room, also still reeling from last night’s comments about being too feminine. It’s hilarious and clearly the highlight of tonight’s results show. Now, if only Clyde would go home – that would truly make the evening complete.

Remember Macy Gray? Yeah, I didn’t know what happened to her either, but she’s trying to sell records in of all places the ballroom. The song’s not bad (has a bit of a Diana Ross 70s or Bee Gees vibe a la How Can You Mend a Broken Heart?) But as usual, I want to clear my throat the whole time I’m listening to her sing. We get a behind-the-scenes look at the hair and makeup process (yawn) but it’s time for the point of tonight’s show – results. So, let’s see some. We learn that Apolo and Julianne are coming back next week, as are Joey and Kim. Hurrah! All three of my favorite couples are in the clear, and even my sentimental favorite John, so I really don’t care now.

The stars get their shot at hammering the judges. When the celebs go before the judges, Actor Ian Ziering feels like he just ate a bug. Joey channels his deer in headlights. Laila feels like it’s out of her hands. Charity fundraiser Heather Mills is amused when the judges bicker with each other. John wants constructive criticism. Apolo wants to reply back to them. Singer Billy Ray Cyrus knows the judges are simply communicating to the stars what they want to see. Clyde just thinks they stink. But let’s see who America and the judges think stink with more results. We learn that Clyde and partner Elena are in the bottom two, but Ian and Cheryl are safe. And Billy Ray and Karina are moving on but Heather and Jonathan are under the red lights tonight. Wow, Heather is by far a better dancer than Clyde. If he doesn’t go home, this will be a really bad call on the voters’ part.

It’s time for the bad news (or good news for us, if it’s Clyde) and hapless host Tom Bergeron makes the big announcement…it’s Clyde Drexler. Whew! That was a close one.

What did you think of the results? I certainly wasn’t surprised. He was by far the least impressive but he left graciously and the best part of all – we won’t have to watch his gawky, gangly moves anymore.

Next week, the couples will do their first group dance as the competition narrows down to seven celebs seeking that cheesy, sparkly disco ball trophy. Stay tuned…