Dancing with the Stars—- 04.16.07 (aka Goin’ Latin)

Posted Apr 17, 2007 by Chris Kuhn

Updated Apr 18, 2007 at 07:00 AM

It’s time for more whirling and twirling in the ballroom on Dancing with the Stars (ABC/Mondays). I can’t believe we’re already halfway through the competition and only two female celebs are left in the competition. We get a sizzling sneak peek of the samba and a romantic recap of the rumba. I can’t wait. These are two of my favorite dances.

Goofy host Tom Bergeron announces that already they’ve had a technical error with incorrect phone numbers listed. Great way to start!

As usual, I’ll be blogging as I watch and speaking my mind. We’ll laugh together about the judges’ inane comments and gab about the delicious moves on the dancefloor and some of the not so tasty ones, too. So be sure to share with me what you think, too, okay?

Let’s get to the dancing…
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Ian Ziering & partner Cheryl Burke
Samba

The actor is still reeling from last week’s feedback that he was a bit stiff on the dance floor. This week, he’s not happy with the girly moves he must make and he lets partner Cheryl know this. He gets really mouthy, and she’s not amused. In her usual polite way, she makes the message clear. Just shut up and dance. (My sentiments exactly.)

I Say:
Yeah, that’s right. He’s doing the girlie moves but they’re doing a nice job capturing the mood of this dance. I still am not a fan of Ian. He feels very forced on the floor, like he’s desperate to win. I don’t get any pleasure watching him move, not as I do Laila Ali or Joey Fatone. He just tries to hard and I sense that. I think the judges will like it though. I give them a 7.

The Judges Say:
Len –  Says he wants them to get to the next level but calls tonight competent.
Bruno –  Tells him he went for it like a power tool.
Carrie –  Wants him to stop underestimating himself and be more confident.

Scores:
24 (8 across the board)

The Last Word:
I came close to giving them an 8 too for effort and for Cheryl. But Ian caused the 1 point deduction.
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Clyde Drexler & partner Elena Grinenko
Rumba

The former NBA hoopster was slammed last week for not practicing enough. So this week we get to watch Clyde travel to China and not do too much practice. I expect we’ll see the usual lackluster delivery from the tall one.

I Say:
Well, at least the song is good - Marvin Gaye’s “What’s Goin’ On.” He barely moves and Elena does all of the work. He walks across the dance floor and does little else than spin her and do multiple side-straddles. Whoopie. It’s absolutely forgettable. Clyde, you need to go home. I give them a 3.

The Judges Say:
Bruno –  Call it a rumba on an anaesthetic.
Carrie –  Tells him he’s the worst dancer in the competition.
Len –  Says he thought it was better than the other two but that he could tell he came out and tried. (I think Len is afraid Clyde might fall on him and crush him.)

Scores:
14 (Carrie and Bruno – 4, Len – 5)

The Last Word:
They were kind. Very kind.
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Heather Mills & partner Jonathan Roberts
Samba

The charity fundraiser loves the Latin dances and she can’t wait to do it. But the bigger issue is partner Jonathan’s grizzly bear chest hair. She makes him wax it off so he can show off his smooth chest during their performance. It’s sad that this is the only footage they have to show us of their practice. We don’t see one second of their rehearsals. Bummer.

I Say:
The dance starts out a bit schmaltzy with way too much emphasis on Jonathan’s pecs. This performance is a bit wooden (excuse the pun) and she’s not quite flexible enough to make the turns and even falls on her bum at the end. It’s good but not great. I give them a 7.

The Judges Say:
Carrie – Says she appreciates what she did but has to take a point off for the fall.
Len – Tells her she sold it and had great hip action. 
Bruno –  Spouts out Studio 54, limbo dancing – this man is simply not coherent but I think he likes it.

Scores:
21 (7 across the board)

The Last Word:
Well, obviously I agree. Everyone has a mediocre performance sometime. This was hers.
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Joey Fatone & partner Kym Johnson
Rumba

The actor and singer feels the pressure of the slow dance after scoring the first 10 of the season last week. Joey’s already making jokes about this serious, slow sultry saunter. If he can stay serious, he should still ace it. Friends Lance Bass and Alfonso Ribeiro show up at the studio to lend support and offer their advice. (Don’t listen to them, Joey. Just keep doing what you’re doing and you’ll be fine.)

I Say:
I absolutely love these two on the dance floor. They bring a fascinating flash and total class to any performance they do. I’m a little bothered by the song choice which is the same tune Sanjaya performed last week. It seems like a totally different Joey, subdued and controlled. It’s a terrific job as always. They get a solid 9 from me.

The Judges Say:
Len –  Calls him “Have A Go, Joe” and tells him he was a little too feminine tonight.
Bruno –  Tells Joey Len has it totally wrong and that it was masculine and strong.
Carrie –  Agrees with Len that it was overperformed and that it looked a bit like a caricature.

Scores:
25 (Carrie and Len – 8, Bruno – 9)

The Last Word:
Once again, the judges prove that they are insane in the membrane.
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John Ratzenberger & partner Edyta Sliwinska
Samba

The actor is ticked off about last week’s comments that he calls sheer taunting. His partner Edyta asks him to bring his drums to inspire him but she’s not knocked out by the kilt he’s wearing. She gets him dressed in traditional Carnivale garb and he’s ready to get inspired by his muse.

I Say:
I want this guy to do well and he keeps up with her pretty well with the fast footwork. He doesn’t have the greatest sense of rhythm to go with these moves but she keeps him in line with her. She’s by far one of the most patient and clever instructors. I give them a 7, if only for Edyta’s washboard abs and John’s endurance.

The Judges Say:
Bruno –  Calls it great fun but tells him messed up the footwork.
Carrie –  Applauds him for something different and having fun on the dancefloor.
Len –  Tells him he captured the mood of Carnivale and looked like he was having a ball.

Scores:
18 (6 across the board)

The Last Word:
Oh, man – throw the guy a bone. Come on, a 21 would have been kinder.
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Laila Ali & partner Maksim Chmerkovskiy
Samba

These are my other favorites and I can’t wait to see how they do. She wants to make this dance as erotic and passionate as possible, so she invites her fiance to see the moves and he is not too happy with the hands on the butt and closeness. I predict an awesome rumba and a return to greatness for this dazzling duo.

I Say:
The fiance must not be around because they’re getting down and dirty with this one. After a few going-through-the-motions spins, they ramp up the energy and glide together in sultry spins and teasing turns. By the end, they’re scorching, the audience loves the sexy moves, and I smell a high score. I give them a fiery red 9.

The Judges Say:
Carrie –  Calls her the comeback kid.
Len –  Tells her it was her best performance yet.
Bruno –  Says Luscious Laila is back smoldering and he needs a shower (at least he didn’t go overboard with the metaphors that time.)

Scores:
28 (Carrie and Bruno – 9, Len – 10)

The Last Word:
Awesome! She is back on top. I love it!
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Apolo Ohno & partner Julianne Hough
Samba

Here you go, my third favorite team. These two are magic in the ballroom and Julianne really pushes the Olympic speedskater to get those samba moves down right. She’s tough and he’s flexible. If he just listens to her and channels his inner tiger, they will make a big impression tonight.

I Say:
She twirls around him dressed in her best leopard and there’s energy and steam coming off the dancefloor. I love it! It’s fun, festive and a real crowd-pleaser. It doesn’t hurt that he can move better and more flexibly than any of the other male celebs in the competition. I predict this will be the encore performance requested tomorrow night if Laila doesn’t get that honor. The moves are fairly comples and he keeps up with her like a champ. I give it a 10!

The Judges Say:
Len – Says the music, choreography and the performance came together. 
Bruno –  Calls them devils and that the nation is stunned.
Carrie –  Tells them it was perfection.

Scores:
30 (10 across the board)

The Last Word:
I actually got goosebumps during the judges’ comments. Man, were they good!
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Billy Ray Cyrus & partner Karina Smirnoff
Rumba

The actor and country singer loves learning about passion from one of the most red-hot dance partners in the game. I don’t know how this girl has so much patience with this nit-wit. It’s going to be a miracle if she pulls it off. I’m not expecting any miracles.

I Say:
The singing is just horrible so I’m a little distracted as the band tries to pull off Tina Turner’s “What’s Love Got to Do with it.” And it doesn’t help that Billy Ray Cyrus is not all that interesting to watch, either. As usual, Karina is sultry on the dancefloor and does her best to sell it but for me, it just doesn’t work because there’s that minor detail of Billy Ray getting in the way. I give them a 6 and just about all of that is for Karina.

The Judges Say:
Bruno –  Says it was a dry rumba and it just didn’t happen for him.
Carrie – Tells him she liked his arms and effort but that it didn’t make it for him.
Len – Calls it a couple having hanky-panky in the back of a chevy and says it lacked romance.

Scores:
17 (Carrie and Len – 6, Bruno – 5)

The Last Word:
Karina looks crushed but frankly, that’s all they deserved for that performance.
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And there you have it…definitely the best in my book tonight were Apolo and Julianne, Laila and Maks, and Joey and Kim. What do you know? All three of my favorite teams. I think Clyde might finally hit the road this week, but I think John is vulnerable, too.
Tomorrow night, we’ll find out who’s checking in their dancing shoes. Stay tuned…