Dancing with the Stars—- 03.19.07

Posted Mar 19, 2007 by Chris Kuhn

Updated Mar 20, 2007 at 05:36 PM

I still can’t believe that this show decided to do a spring version after a big fall season and a national tour, which I caught by the way. (And if you missed that review, you can check it out here.)

A few of my favorite professional dancers are missing this season like Ashley DelGrosso and Louis van Amstel but it’s definitely an interesting bunch of celebs. Tonight’s scores from the judges and audience votes will be combined with next week’s to determine who goes home next Tuesday night. As usual, I’ll be blogging away as I watch, giving you my take as well as the wacky judges. But I get the last word (and why not?). Your comments are always welcomed here, too, so please be sure to chime in with your own opinions, okay?

Let’s get started…

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Ian Ziering & partner Cheryl Burke
Cha-cha-cha

The former 90210’er is a perfectionist and can’t stand failing. He knows that he has the best possible partner in two-time champ Cheryl, so their success falls largely on his shoulders.

I Say:
She’s awesome as always but he’s not the most exuberant partner she’s had so far. It’s okay but I have a feeling that someone or a few someones might do better of the celebs to come. I give them a 7.

The Judges Say:
Len- Calls Cheryl a lucky little devil for getting good partners but says Ian needs a little hip action.
Bruno- Tells Ian to go see a Chippendale’s show for tips on the hips.
Carrie- Liked the energy though she was worried Ian might stress himself out.

Scores:
21 (7 across the board)

The Last Word:
I thought they might do better given the judge’s comments but it’s a pretty low number for Cheryl.

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Paulina Porizkova & partner Alec Mazzo
Fox Trot

She’s excited about the opportunity to prove she’s outgrown that awkward stage of the young teenage girl. Yeah, right. This is coming from a former supermodel. Alec was season one’s big winner, so maybe he can help her do just that.

I Say:
She’s surprisingly flowy and graceful. I like it. It’s a bit slow but quite elegant. Definitely better than the previous performance. Give those two an 8.

The Judges Say:
Len- Loves her arms and lines but not thrilled when the two dancers come together.
Carrie – Says she has great potential but they’re a bit awkward together.
Bruno- Tells her she has breakfast, lunch and dinner at Tiffany’s and has class all the way.

Scores:
19 (Len and Carrie – 6, Bruno – 7)

The Last Word:
Man, they were harsh. They did glide along the floor nicely. What more do they want for a first week dance? Geez.

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Billy Ray Cyrus & partner Karina Smirnoff
Cha-cha-cha

The country singer and actor calls himself a hillbilly will two left feet so it’s a good thing he has tough Karina to whip him into shape. She’s not nicknamed the drill sergeant for nothing and she did make it all the way up to second place last year.

I Say:
I thought Billy Ray would be a better dancer than he is because of his musical background but boy, was I wrong. He’s choppy, far from smooth and really doesn’t do much of anything except gyrate occasionally. Getting stuck in his partner’s hair extensions on the last move doesn’t help him either. Oy. I give them a 4.

The Judges Say:
Carrie – Says it was rock and roll but not cha-cha and tells him to go back to work.
Bruno – Calls it like watching a crazy bear lost in a swamp.
Len – Tells him it was more like a hoe-down but challenges him to do a fantastic quick-step next week.

Scores:
13 (Len and Bruno – 4, Carrie – 5)

The Last Word:
Yikes. And Billy Ray do a quick step? Are you crazy, Len? Billy will be hanging on by a thread for a week or two because of who he is, not because he deserves to stay here.

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Leeza Gibbons & partner Tony Dovolani
Fox Trot

TV personality Leeza Gibbons knows she’s the oldest woman in the bunch but makes a good point. If Jerry Springer can do it, so can she. Partner Tony didn’t get to finish last year as Sara Evans left the competition to deal with marital problems. I wonder if he already asked Leeza about the status of her relationship, just to be safe.

I Say:
I predict that she’ll be a fan favorite unless she absolutely tanks. She’s not as sure on her feet as Paulina but she hangs in there. It’s again a little dull but not nearly as off as Billy Ray. I give them a 7.

The Judges Say:
Bruno – Instructs her to relax and says she looks like she was dancing on the edge of the grand canyon.
Len – Says she has an elegance about her but she must relax more.
Carrie – Tells her she brought the character of the dance to life but she needs to loosen up.

Scores:
15 (5 across the board)

The Last Word:
The judges are definitely not handing out the high scores tonight. Cheryl’s 21 is beginning to look pretty good.

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Joey Fatone & partner Kym Johnson
Cha-cha-cha

The ‘N Sync singer and actor wants to lose weight throughout the process but first he has to get serious and stop joking around. We’ll see if his dancing is as funny as he is. Last year, Kym got stuck with Jerry Springer. My guess is that she’ll tolerate the constant joking.

I Say:
I’m impressed. He does an awesome job in spite of his own wardrobe malfunction – a flying microphone pack soaring behind him while he danced. Awesome job. I give it a 9.

The Judges Say:
Carrie – Calls it fun and energetic and says the competition just started.
Len – Tells him it was really good.
Bruno- Says he sold it in spite of the mike accident.

Scores:
24 (8 across the board)

The Last Word:
It’s the highest score of the night and I’m happy for him. I can tell already that he’ll be one of my favorites this year.

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Laila Ali & partner Maksim Chmerkovskiy
Fox Trot

She’s a pro boxer and is tough and hard. Maksim is a tell-it-like-it-is dance coach who plans to tell her when her dancing is disgusting. Guess he wants to get punched. They’ll be in a fistfight within a few weeks, I predict already.

I Say:
She seems more relaxed than some of the others but maybe a bit too relaxed. She loses her form quite a bit, but you can tell she’s having a good time and that helps the often loose performance. I like it better than most of the other celebs but she’s no Joey Fatone. I give her an 8.

The Judges Say:
Bruno – Says her fox trot oozed sex appeal and that she commanded the stage.
Carrie – Liked her fluidity and strength.
Len – Tells her she floated like a butterfly and glided like a swan; calls it fantastic.

Scores:
23 (Len and Bruno – 8, Carrie – 7)

The Last Word:
That works for me. Just under Joey and Kym. I’ll agree with the scoring so far.

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John Ratzenberger & partner Edyta Sliwinska
Cha-cha-cha

The actor had even less time to prepare for tonight’s performance (a mere two weeks). Edyta admits she’s more nervous than ever given the limited time. But old Cliffy Clavin’s got a great positive attitude and I’m actually rooting for the guy to surprise everybody.

I Say:
Edyta is wearing barely anything, I assume to distract the audience. He’s as good as Jerry Springer was last year and he moves pretty good for a guy who’s only had two weeks to learn this stuff.  He’s definitely better than Billy Ray Cyrus. I give him a 6.

The Judges Say:
Carrie – Calls it surprisingly good and says he was charismatic.
Len – Says for two weeks’ lead time it was a good job.
Bruno – Tells him that apart from some heel leads, it was a good job.

Scores:
17 (Carrie and Bruno – 6, Len – 5)

The Last Word:
That’s probably a fair score but I think he’ll be safe and sound unless he completely blows it next Monday.

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Shandi Finnessey & partner Brian Fortuna
Fox Trot

This is the only couple that I don’t know at all. She’s a 2004 Miss USA and I’ve never heard of her. And Brian is a new dance partner on the show, but he has a Harry Connick quality about him. These two could be fun to watch but she may struggle to get votes due to her anonymity.

I Say:
She moves nicely on the floor but it’s not the most exciting performance I’ve seen. The crowd isn’t exactly mesmerized but something tells me that the judges (Len, particularly) will be smitten with her. I give them a 7.

The Judges Say:
Bruno – Calls them Barbie and Ken in our living room but warns her to watch her feet and arms.
Carrie – Says her upper body work was good but she needs a lot of work on the lower half.
Len – Wants a little less aggression but calls it a good effort.

Scores:
19 (Len and Carrie – 6, Bruno – 7)

The Last Word:
I think she’s going to have to get higher marks to stay in this competition because no one in their living rooms will know who the heck she is.

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Clyde Drexler & partner Elena Grinenko
Cha-cha-cha

NBA great Clyde is a giant in every sense of the word – try 6’7” – the tallest participant in the show ever. How on Earth will these two dance together? This I’ve got to see.

I Say:
Clyde doesn’t have any real rhythm and he moves cautiously like he’s afraid he might fall on her. If he stays in the competition it will be only for the circus nature of this act. It’s like watching Goldilocks and a big Giant dance together. How bizarre. I give them a 4.

The Judges Say:
Carrie – Says he’s dancing too shy and small and encourages him to use the whole dance floor.
Len – Calls it a charming performance (what the heck was he watching?)
Bruno – Tells him it was a warm performance but he can sell it better (maybe he and Len are afraid that he’ll stomp on them or something).

Scores:
16 (Bruno and Len – 5, Carrie – 6)

The Last Word:
He should be thankful the scores were that high.

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Heather Mills & partner Jonathan Roberts
Fox Trot

She’s being labeled a charity activist and campaigner but we all know her as that woman suing Paul McCartney for alimony. Oh and the lady with the artificial leg. Enough has been written already about how she’ll dance with it, will it fall off or fly into the crowds, etc. I’m more fascinated with the fact that she’s a much hated woman internationally for taking advantage of a beloved Beatle. Isn’t that reason enough to root against her? Isn’t it?

I Say:
She’s as fluid as some of the other celebs but clearly there are some moments that are a little choppy and stiff (understandably). I’m more bothered by the ABC cameramen who insist on giving us far too many close-ups of her leg. It’s beginning to feel creepy – as if they’re just waiting for it to fall off or something. Anyway, I give them a 7. Not bad.

The Judges Say:
Len – Liked the choreography and said it was inspirational.
Bruno – Tells her she’s gutsy but that she needs to watch her arms and frame.
Carrie – Wants her to have more faith in her partner because she clearly tenses up when she’s worrying about her leg.

Scores:
18 (6 across the board)

The Last Word:
They definitely didn’t sugarcoat it or score generously. But she’ll probably be here next week.

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Apolo Ohno & partner Julianne Hough
Cha-cha-cha

He’s an Olympic medalist speed skater so we know he’s got endurance. I got to see Julianne this January on tour as she filled in for Kym Johnson who was out with a broken bone and she’s the youngest dance competitor ever on the show – just 18. I like her energy and I think she can help him. Unless he has no rhythm whatsoever.

I Say:
He has really good hip action and they look cute on the dance floor together. It’s a good pairing and I think I’ll be rooting for these two throughout the competition. He’s a bit stiff at times, but I see some real potential here. They’ll be in the top three for the night. I give them an 8.

The Judges Say:
Bruno – Says he’s got the most potential of everyone tonight.
Carrie – Likes his hip action but tells him to watch his turns.
Len – Tells him to work on his posture before next week’s quick step but says his cha-cha-cha gets a “well done.”

Scores:
21 (7 across the board)

The Last Word:
I think they should have scored them higher. But given the very low scores tonight, I guess they should be grateful they got that.

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And that’s it for this evening’s first night of performances. To me, the biggest disappointment was Billy Ray Cyrus. Biggest surprise was that John Ratzenberger could dance at all - and Joey Fatone moved better than I expected.

No predictions here on who’s going home just yet since it is based on two performances. But what did you think of tonight’s show? Any favorites just yet? Already I’m looking forward to seeing Joey and Kym and Apolo and Julianne. We’ve been promised plenty of quick steps from the men and mambos from the ladies. So stay tuned…

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