What’s really in a name?

Everything, if you are a professional sports franchise.

Do you know why the upstart XFL failed miserably despite the backing of the World Wrestling Entertainment conglomerate and a sideline full of the best eye-candy cheerleaders that each team’s hometown strip clubs had to offer?

It wasn’t the shoddy play on the field or gross mismanagement by the league’s executives. It was because they had a league full of adjectives. Seriously. The Orlando Rage? L.A. Xtreme?

Ever wonder why the NFL’s Cleveland Browns have been a disappointment despite numerous reincarnations? It’s because they named their team a color.

If a franchise has a slick corporate identity and marketable image it can be financially successful even when their on-field product is less than palatable.

Retail sales of NFL licensed apparel helps bring in over $3 billion annually. Major League Baseball and the NBA account for over $2 billion each, according to The Sports Business Journal. Minor League baseball games struggle constantly with attendance but generate more than $30 million each year in apparel revenue.

So when Stuart Sternberg and the Rays bought an ownership stake last week in the new United Football League team, the Florida Tuskers, my first reaction was ‘what a horrible name for a franchise.’

If it weren’t for my redneck uncle with a hog-trapping license, I probably wouldn’t have had the slightest idea that a ‘tusker’ is the name given to the large male feral pigs that rut around in Florida’s marshlands. Even with that knowledge, I still couldn’t tell you why such a moniker exemplifies Floridians and their football, unless you count smelly, hairy beasts charging at each other to be apropos.

Most Floridians have probably never even seen a ‘tusker’ unless it was from news coverage from a random pig showing up in someone’s backyard. Alligators, bobcats, panthers and even coyotes show up in backyards around the state with much greater frequency and all of those critters would have made for a more appropriate moniker for the team.

The Florida Tuskers, with former New Orleans Saints coach Jim Haslett at the helm and Mr. Arena League, Jay Gruden, running the offense, will call Orlando’s Citrus Bowl home with the exception of their October 30 game against Las Vegas that will be played at Tropicana Field in St. Pete.

Let us hope that by that time the team is more exciting than their name.

Otherwise, the boar-dom could be too much to bear.