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Geoff Fox:

Since 2002, Geoff Fox has written about the offbeat and dynamic personalities that make Pasco County unique. He is now revisiting them, meeting new characters and sharing more stories. Email

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Flopping In The Streets Of Wesley Chapel; Or, Dude, You Don’t Have To Run Over The Corn Snake

Posted Apr 28, 2010 by Geoff Fox

Updated Apr 28, 2010 at 04:21 PM

I was walking the other night. It had been raining for hours and water was flowing down the side of the street toward a sewer.

In the distance, on the ground to my left, I saw something flopping. Since I had passed a 4-foot long corn snake on someone’s driveway a block earlier, I gave the wiggling water creature a berth.

But, like a typically dense but curious human, I had see what it was.

It was one of those times when you see something, then have to pause, determine whether you’re awake or dreaming, then squint hard enough to split an eyelid.

I don’t know if it was male or female, but it was definitely a catfish; the long “whiskers” sticking out the side of its head were the giveaway. It splashed down the street in a herky-jerky “gait” that characterized neither walking nor swimming.

I’d heard stories of Florida’s “walking catfish” from several sources over the years, but I always figured these people were, to quote Karl Childers in “Sling Blade,” having “quite a bit of sport with me.”

But the thing is real. I say so, and so does Gary Morse, a spokesman with the Florida Fish & Wildlife Conservation Commission. (The picture to the left is from The Tampa Tribune’s archives.)

“They are a non-native species; they’ve got the elongated spine that they use to walk,” he said. “Typically, you see them moving about on the land. They can go over grass, not for long distances, but when it’s wet they keep their gills wet and they can gulp air. They can’t live out of water indefinitely, but particularly after a rain is when you’ll see them.”

Back home, I saw something even stranger. The driveway where I saw the snake is about five houses down. Standing on the sidewalk, I watched someone in a sedan pull into the driveway and back out several times. Then, they backed into the driveway and drove out again.

Then, they came at the driveway sideways.

This went on for several minutes.

It was one of those times when you’re watching something happen, and you’re pretty sure you understand the situation, but you’re still left slack-jawed by the unbridled brilliance.

The car backed into the driveway a final time and paused, headlights shining, before tearing away. Apparently, the driver did not live at the house.

But he or she did manage to make mincemeat of the corn snake, the innards of which were strewn across the asphalt like Silly String.

Corn snakes, by the way, are generally docile and choke their prey to death. To humans, they are considered non-venomous.

But even if the snake had been a water moccasin, a rattlesnake or a copperhead, feared reptiles that could send you on a helicopter ride to the intensive care unit, such motorized mayhem would have been excessive.

Even in the Old West, they generally only hung an outlaw once.